Chapter One

*Previously in A Night With The Billionaire*

"He said something. About my parent's death, he said... Said you caused it. I mean that accident. "

I look into his eyes, looking for something. Anything that will give me hope and make me realize what a stupid fool I am for even mentioning it, but my heart beats faster against my ribs when I see nothing. His eyes are cold with his jaw clenched.

He brings his hands to cover mine and his thumb soothingly moves against my hand. That means something, right? That I was right. That Oliver was just messing with me.

But then, 

He mutters the words, almost as if they taste like poison coming out of his mouth and they do. The words that shatter my entire world. My whole heart and my total belief. It shatters my entire soul and dangles it before my own very eyes in a way to mock me. The words that knock the breath out of me, and not pleasantly. In a terrifying, agonizing pain.

"Your parent's car didn't go off the bridge because of that storm. It was because of me. I killed them. "

DAWN. 

Silence.

No sound. Only silence. 

Silence fills the room as I stare at the man before me; Ryder Smith. The one man that had saved me from the misery that was my life. 

I gulp in twice before shaking my head, words that I have no control over tumbling off my lips. 

"What do you mean? What are you talking about? Say it again, "

I move closer to him, closing the small distance that's left between us, and he moves his gaze to meet mine, his expression unfazed as he yet again mutters the words I thought had been my imagination. 

"It was a mistake, a terrible accident that I never meant, but Oliver was right about everything, Dawn. I killed your parents. "

It hits me like shocks of waves and how I can still stand on my feet comes as a fucking surprise to me too. 

He isn't the right man for you, Dawn. 

He's going to do nothing but ruin you. 

You're going to leave, I'm going to lose you. You'll leave me just like everyone else, I will lose you and it's going to be my fault. I've messed up badly Dawn; so badly and I can't fix it anymore. 

You might want to know just how badly Ryder Smith had ruined you without you knowing. 

All those words, all those warnings. Everyone has made them, even him himself, but I never thought deep into any of them. I never had a reason to, I never thought.. I could have never thought that this was it. The warning that I refused to heed to. I could have never thought the one man I fell so deeply and madly in love with caused my ruin all along. 

I take a step back, my lips quivering as I try to hold back my tears. Ryder's gaze falls on my action and he reaches his hand out to me. 

"No! Don't you dare touch me! Don't you fucking dare!"

Words leaves my mouth but my gaze is on the door. I need to leave; I need to leave this place. I can't do this, I can't. Thinking my life was finally going to be better, thinking I could finally put all those years behind me, thinking I finally found my happiness only for this to happen. I can't handle it. 

"Dawn please, I know you're upset with me and I know you have every right to but, "

"Upset?"

I scoff, an ugly laugh tearing off my lips as I meet his gaze once again, tears threatening to blind my vision. "Upset? You think this is what it's about! Me being upset?!"

"Just listen to me, Dawn, let's.. "

"No! I do not want to listen to you! Why should I? How could you? How could you do that? How could you?."

Have you ever thought that storm did not cause your parent's death?

He had asked me that question himself. I still remember the way his face had changed when I told him about the day I lost my parents. I remember the words he had said to me that night. He knew. He knew about it all this while and yet, he never uttered a word of it to me. 

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I swear I was going to, but I was scared, I couldn't, "

"You were scared? You knew about my parents’ death all this while and yet you kept it away from me because you were scared? You fooled me, Ryder. You fooled me! You didn't think of telling me while you had me beneath you? You didn't think of telling me when you mentioned your past? You thought keeping it away from me was the best? I deserved to know, Ryder! Not from Oliver! I shouldn't have had to confront you about it, I deserve to know that you fucking ruined my life!"

"Stop it, Dawn!"

He yells, his jaw clenching as he steps closer to me. " Stop talking like that. Stop acting like this was easy for me too. Stop acting like I used you, just stop it! Did you know how hard it was for me when I found out about it? Did you know how hard it was to have kept that away from you because I couldn't lose you? I just couldn't. I finally got something good, someone that turned me better. I finally found you, Dawn. I couldn't lose all that, I just can't. It was a selfish and dick move from my end, but I couldn't Dawn. If I could, I will turn back the hands of time and change everything, I would have never- no, no actually I wouldn't change it. I wouldn't change a single thing about what I did and what happened because if you had not lost your parents that night, I wouldn't have got you. You would never be here, you'll probably be busy living your perfect life and I would still be the monster I grew up to be, I would never have met you and I don't want that. It's probably stupid and selfish and any other word you will call it, but I wouldn't change a single thing about what happened if I could. I can't lose you. "

"You lost me the moment you kept that away from me, "

I shake my head, swiping my hand across my face to wipe away the tears blurring my vision. 

"No, no Dawn. Please, don't do this. We can fix this, "

He grabs my hands, his eyes pleading as they meet with mine, and at any other moment when I didn't know this man was the killer of my parents, I would have broken down. It would have hurt to see him like this but this very moment, with the words he had muttered minutes ago lingering at the back of my mind; I don't care. 

"There's nothing to be fixed, Ryder. My parents are dead, and it's because of you. There's nothing you can do. "

I step back, moving his hand away from mine, but he's quick to grab them back, once again closing the distance between us. My eyes are whirling, my legs are trembling beneath me–threatening to give up. I try to swallow the bile that's rising in my throat as my eyes once again move to the door. 

I need to get out of here. 

"No, I can fix this. I know I can, talk to me. Say anything, punish me, hit me, do anything Dawn. Just please, don't leave me. I can't, I can't lose you. "

I have no words. I want to say something, so many words to say, but I can't bring myself to say them. My mind is in a state of chaos, so many thoughts running through them at once and staying here, breathing the same air with him, will only make me lose control of everything. The only move I have is to leave. 

"I can't, I can't do this. I can't, "

I tell him once again before splinting off. 

I'm almost there, just one more step. I almost wrapped my hand around that fucking doorknob. Just one more feet. One stupid fucking more move. Just one last move and I could have saved myself, I could have avoided the storm.

But then, 

"I love you, Dawn. "