Chapter 36

As much as it pained me, we parted ways as agreed. I did not venture anywhere near the stables, he did not walk the horses past my parlour window. I subdued myself and turned inwards. Now I began obsessing over every bodily change. If a breeze made my skin itch, was it a sign of successful conception? A slight stomach-ache after eating an apple pudding?

Edmund was no better. After two weeks of his daily steaming treatment he was in a foul mood. Unable to eat anything other than the foul-smelling broth prepared by Doctor Farrer, he seemed to study my eating with fascination. “How are you feeling?” he asked one evening, causing me to almost drop my spoon in shock.

“I…I feel well, no different than usual Your Grace. Thank you for enquiring. How are you, are your treatments helping?”

“Marie tells me there is no sign yet,” ignoring my question. I cringed to think of her reporting on the status of my bedsheets every morning. He briskly waved his quivering hand at the manservant to leave