ALWAYSHis head tilts and starts to lean into mine. My heart starts to pound furiously inside of my chest. I have no idea why that happened. His eyes fluttered shut as he cups my face. Our mouths are a hairs breath away when I see the rented car pass by us. My eyes widen. And instinctively I push him away. His eyes looked confused for a second. I laugh. My laugh is strained, and my heart is still pounding in my chest. His eyes look hurt for a second before he drapes a helmet on his head. “Of course I won’t let myself be your rebound.” He says without missing a beat. I laugh, again it sounds like I have something in my throat. “I won’t do that to you. You are too precious for that.” He turns back to face the road. Seeing the rented car in front he lets out a string of cusses and starts the bike. I only have a second to latch unto his clothes before he sped off. I press myself into his back, he was going too fast. Soon we were ahead of the
LONG I don't know how long I sit there, crying, before the bus arrives. “Roxanne? Why are you curled up like that on the ground?” Beatrice asks when she climbs out of the bus. But she is distracted with bringing the kids out of the bus that she does not notice me quickly wiping my eyes. I give a lame excuse, using Leo's over speeding, because she is so busy she only nods and says; “I did think the speed was an overkill.” By the time the rented car was pulling in, my eyes were dried, puffy and hiding behind sunglasses as I help Beatrice with the kids. “Where is Leo? Rather, where did Leo go?” Jessica asked me. “I have no idea. He dropped me and sped off.” I say too quickly. “Why are the men in your life so dramatic? First professor asked you to drop him in the middle of the road, second Leo speeds into the distance.” She sighs. “I know right. I am the constant.” The children were organised in front of the new building but I see all they want to do
DELUSIONS The plane ride ended shortly. And soon I was driving us home. Jessica says she and Cecilia are only staying over because it was so late. They crowd my bed once again. “Is this your house?” Prudy asks me with wide eyes as she soaks up everything. I know it is smaller than the mansion she has lived in all of her life. “Yes sweetie. And now it is yours too.” I tell her. Her wide eyes get even wider as she blinks at me. “I can live here? With you?” “Of course baby.”She squeals and hugs me. I pick her up and hug her too. We make hot chocolate and sip whilst giggling, i had done this exact thing with her mother, my sister. When she finally goes back to bed, it is about four in the morning. But I lay awake, i can’t get Leo out of my mind. He had gotten so high once, he passed out somewhere for days, and i could not go looking for him because I was locked in the basement. It was a passer by who saw him and saved his life, that was when he f
LAST“Sarah is back home. I just thought I should let you know so you don’t worry too much.” Jack's message came in the early hours of the morning, most likely the time Jessica and i finally went back to bed. And I was just seeing the text, few minutes past twelve. “Shhiii..” the word gets stuck in my throat when I see the smiling face of Prudy. There was a child in the house now, I needed to child proof my words. I find that is not easy when I come close to cussing every five minutes. And Jessica keeps laughing at me. “Where is Cecilia?” “She left before I was awake. I got a text from her saying her manager called so she had to leave.” I nod and continue to make breakfast for Prudy. Turns out I only have ingredients and you just don’t throw them in and hope they taste good. “Why aren’t you in school by the way?”“On your first day of being a mom? You would be lost without me.” I roll my eyes but I am grateful. The kitchen was a mess, and i was onl
EFFORT“Wait, where are you going?” Henry asks as he pulls me back. “What?” My eyes are still searching the crowds for my professor. Did my eyes play tricks on me? Was he really not here? If he was, why did he come here? If he wasn’t here for me, he would not have disappeared like that. “I made a killing today. And as usual, you get sixty percent.” He grinned. “You made a bet?”“Of course I did.”He says and hands me a wad of cash. “I wasn’t going to bet today. But a young man pointed out that the other surfer had a lot of fans. She surfs around the state, and because her following is so much, we would make a fortune. And he was right. You showed them who is boss.” He chuckled. “A young man?”He nods eagerly. “He bets on you regularly, that is why I believed him.”“Regularly? Can you describe him for me?” I pin the board in the sand as it kept slipping from my under arm. “Of course, I see him every time you compete. He also has unusual grey ey
INTENSITY Jessica had snarled and my blood ran hot. I don’t look at Cecilia as I walk past her into his office. He looks up, his eyes widen when they find me. He was wearing his glasses and he looked super sexy in them. And she saw that. Was this jealousy?“I did not kiss Leo.” I tell him. I have no idea why I have to explain myself to him, but I do. He blinks,“Miss Roxanne, that is your personal issue..”“Do not give me that bullshit.”He blinks one more time. I sit opposite him. “Remember how we were being honest with each other the other time? Let’s do that again. No mind games, no dodging the question. Just honesty.” “Miss Roxanne..”“Fuck the rules. I don’t plan on listening to anything that has to do with those fucking rules today.” He takes a few deep breaths and moves to take off his glasses. “Leave them there. It’s sexy.”He blushes. “That is not..”“And I say forgot the rules lest I make you forget them.” “Uhm okay.. I uh knew you
DEEPER “Cecilia explained to me that she was giving account for everything that was spent back in Maine. And it had to be in his office because he had a class. She also said we should think better of her.” I am still dazed by what I heard that I am only able to nod. “Then I told her she could not blame us since she was acting weird. But anyway, I’m glad I didn’t throw hands first before asking questions, that would have ruined everything.” We were at the classroom now, for the extra class. Somehow he managed to beat us here, he sat in front, composed and looking worry free. “Okay what went down in there? Did you embarrass yourself further? Although I don’t see how that is even possible.” I sigh and take the last row.“That’s weird. This isn’t where we usually sit.” She says, her eyes keep dancing from my professor to me. “Remember I told you once that he said he cannot sleep with someone he doesn’t love?” I finally break my silence. “He told me he mean
LOVE“You are so unlucky.” Jessica bellowed. She has been laughing like a hyena since I told her everything. “Like I don’t know. I even went to the department, get them to change my name to someone else's. Do you know what they told me?” She wiped her teary eyes, a smile on her face, ready to laugh more if that be the case. “I am quoting everything verbatim from here on. ‘The nomination came directly from the head of department, and to change it, you need to write to the head of department, but through..’, I have forgotten the names of the people he mentioned, but they were up to ten, and they will help me present my case to the head of department. If he doesn’t approve, then it won’t happen.” She laughs until she is unable to breathe, I let her be. It was a little funny to me as well. “You can start drafting your letter now.” She tells me between spiels of laughter. “Each person has to take at least a day to review the letter before passing it to the next pe