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Fifty-Six: Missing Her?
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ILLICIT AFFAIRS Fifty-Seven: Letting Go
LISA“You know you've been acting unusual, right?” Tana asked me from her bed and I rolled my tired body over so I could look at her. “Why do you mean I’ve been acting unusual?” I asked even though I knew what exactly she was talking about. I haven't been myself since three nights ago when Axel walked away from me.I know I asked him to leave but I wasn't sure what I wanted him to do, to give me a reason to stay, to try to fight for us or something. And then he had walked away leaving me standing in the ember of my ashes, in the shattering of my heart. I wasn’t sure how I got back to the hostel and ever since I got back to the hostel, I’ve barely been functioning. My routine felt mundane, boring and it felt like my life had come to a sudden and startling halt. I was barely able to listen in class and once the class was over, I’d rush back home to bury myself under my duvet. I tried to distract myself by getting lost in programming and coming up with new security codes but everythin
ILLICIT AFFAIRS Fifty-Eight: Love Or Something Like That.
AXELI took another shot and I gulped it down in one go.The loud music and excited screams in the bar did nothing to better my mood and alleviate my worries. If anything, it was worsening it and I knew I should leave, I should go back home but I badly needed this distraction. I badly needed something or someone that'd take my mind off the turmoil that Lisa had plunged me into.Or better put, the turmoil that Prince's observation had put me into."This is not just about you being into her, you're in love with her."I was in love with her? No, I wasn't. I was clear on that as the day was daylight. I wasn't in love with Lisa. I couldn't be in love with her but what was this hollow hole in my heart? What was this hollow space in my heart after she walked away? What was this irrational need to call her and get her to go back on her words? What was this insane desire to call her and hear her voice? What was this bizarre need to go over and see her face and hear her laugh and just bask in t
ILLICIT AFFAIRS Fifty-Nine: Trying To Forget Him
LISATana had dragged me to the bar, and now we were standing in front of it. I had tried to talk my way out of coming out and coming to this bar with Tana but she was having none of it. She insisted I had to come here, to party, to socialize to get him out of my mind.I was starting to think that might not be possible, getting him out of my mind, I mean. "Come on, babe, what's that look on your face?" She asked me when I was only looking at the entrance of the bar and not making an attempt to enter."What look?" I asked, feigning innocence. "That sad, wistful expression. Come on, Lisa. We came out here to forget about everything and just have a good time. "And you're a badass, pretty, smoking hot and sophisticated girl. I don't see why you're stressing over him when you can easily get any man that you want."Yeah, I could but none of them were Axel.But Tana was somehow right. Maybe all I need is a distraction, and that won't be difficult, especially since I was already receiving g
ILLICIT AFFAIRS Sixty: Harsh Reality?
LISAI didn't say anything as he dragged me out, dragged me towards the car park, unlocked his car door, and threw me in. I didn't say anything when he rounded the car and he got in behind the wheels when he leaned over to help me buckle my seat belt, torturing us both with our closeness because my breath hitched up and his became very rapid too. Didn't say anything when he started the ignition when he eased the car out of the parking lot and he started driving towards the roads that I’d gotten to know way too much. Because they lead to his house. He didn't say anything too, he just looked as angry and pissed off as hell and it made me wonder why he was so angry because he doesn't have any right to be angry. I was dancing with a guy and he was suddenly our personal space, all angry as if someone stole his candy. He even had the nerve to punch the poor guy, knocking him out cold in the process. Thinking about it now, I was the one that was supposed to be angry, I was the one that
ILLICIT AFFAIRS Sixty-One: Love
LISAHis hand didn't leave mine and he didn't attempt to step up position on the floor and I could only stare at him with wide eyes because I couldn't fathom a thing. I couldn't fathom why he was doing this."What are you doing, Axel?""I wish I knew," he smiled a bitter smile, "but I just knew I'd be damned if I allow you to walk through that door without letting you know how I feel."I thought my heart had reached the maximum level for how fast it could beat but why did pick race again? Why was it beating so much that I feared it would burst out of its rib cage?Without letting me know how he feels? How does he feel?"I don't know, Red, I should ask you because what have you done to me? Why can't I stop thinking about you?" He asked me, eyes boring into mine and filled with so many emotions that I couldn't even start to decipher them.He can't stop thinking about me?"I can't stop thinking about you, Red, I see you when I close my eyes, when I open them, I see you in every girl, e
ILLICIT AFFAIRS Sixty-Two: A couple or something like that
LISAI woke up feeling refreshed as I'd never felt before. For a minute after I woke up, I was disconnected and lost because I didn't understand where I was. The white walls and interiors didn't feel familiar at all and I was immediately discombobulated before I remembered that I had slept over in Axel's house and I had woken up in his bed. I don't remember ever waking up in someone else's bed.I smiled in contentment as I stretched on the bed and I expected my hand to meet the solid frame that was Axel's body but my hands met nothing. Sleep cleared from my eyes and I looked around the room to find him gone. I stood up and my first check was in the bathroom but he wasn't there. I quickly freshened up before going out of the bathroom and I went in search of him. The smell of fresh toast and brewing coffee immediately assaulted my nose when I stepped out of the bathroom and I took a deep breath to inhale the scent deeply. I started to walk in the direction the aroma was coming from a
ILLICIT AFFAIRS Sixty-Three: Lovestruck
LISAAxel IvanovAxel.Ivanov.That guy had incinerated every part of being, leaving only what I feel for him and the memories of us together in its wake. It's been three days since that night at his house and it's been nothing more than euphoric bliss.I've been thinking about him a lot.In fact, he was the only one I'd been thinking about.Here I was again, I was sitting in front of my vanity and I was supposed to be getting ready but guess who was getting all distracted because of the thoughts of Axel? Me!I don't know where we were headed, especially since we have to keep things under the wrap for now but damn, thinking about Axel was making me warm and fuzzy and I just can't get him off my mind. He's like a virus taking over my body in the best possible way, but this virus was dangerous, and I still fucking love it.I know what we're doing is risky but we couldn't control our feelings and who would have thought that there'd be one day when I'd feel this way about Axel?I was supp
ILLICIT AFFAIRS Sixty-Four: Surprise?
I'd never gotten used to parting ways with Tana once we arrived at the lecture halls, but I returned her small wave as she walked away because I knew I'd see her real soon.The wind was having a field day, blowing through rustling leaves and ruining my perfectly laid hair as I walked toward my lecture hall.I loved the weather, but it had its unpleasant quirks, ones that made it somewhat annoying.After walking in long strides to avoid unnecessary chit-chat with passersby, not like I’d ever involve myself in conversing with anyone in the first place, I was finally seated right in time for the lecture.As if on cue, the lecturer waltzed in a few minutes after I'd set up my laptop and greeted the class casually.The lecture went by in a breeze mostly because I was immersed and intrigued enough to enjoy every bit of it, I loved being a brilliant mind in the tech space.The lecturer left the class with a few students trailing behind him and badgering him with questions, while I stayed put
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