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Ninety-Four
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ILLICIT AFFAIRS Ninety-Five
Lisa's POVI struggled to regain my composure as I saw that my apologies weren't even getting to him, he truly seemed unaffected by everything I'd said. As hard as it was, I tried to keep my eyes on him because I'd hoped he'd read them and find sincerity, but he barely looked at me while I spoke."I'm sorry for everything I did that's hurt you," I said but It seemed like the words had fallen on deaf ears since he didn't dignify me with an expression or response.I watched Axel move the heel of his feet in an unusual rhythm instead of responding to my pleas, it felt as though my apologies had done nothing to calm him. Instead, it seemed to have gotten him angrier at me, especially now. But I needed to get through to him so I didn't have plans to stop apologizing just yet."I'm so sorry, Axel" I started to speak again and he shook his head as though he simply couldn't believe a word that left my lips."I really am, please," I re-emphasized but it did nothing to move him, he seemed hell-
ILLICIT AFFAIRS Ninety-Six
LISAMy heart crumbled in its cage, I felt painful whiplashes that almost felt like physical pain as my heart which had already ripped a couple of times, ripped again causing me to hold a hand to my chest for support as I realized just how much I’d hurt Axel.It was like a farmer’s rusted sickle’s hook had been lodged in my heart and gotten stuck halfway, my entire body felt like it couldn't my weight for much longer. I knew I’d hurt Axel, that's what I thought and it’d made life miserable for me, but here I am finding out that I actually crushed him.That realization tore me to pieces as I watched how hurt and angry he was, I had no idea that this man had loved me with no bounds. I’d known that his love for me was unconditional, but I didn't have the slightest idea that I had a hold on him that would’ve made him fight the world and give up anything just to be with me.The fact that he'd have even chosen me instead of his family in a heartbeat replayed in my head and caused the sickle
ILLICIT AFFAIRS Ninety-Seven
Axel’s POVAll of the feelings that ravaged my being of recently had been foreign to me entirely, I’d never been one to fall victim to the matters of the heart, and usually, I took them too lightly for their outcome to affect me.But with Lisa, it was as though my heart crossed every single warning cone I’d put up, pushed all the guards surrounding my heart, and what ent all the way fucking in. How much I loved her felt like it was the necessity to breathe in oxygen every damn second.How on earth could a person feel this deeply for another? I wondered.The fact that I’d lasted through a conversation about how she’d made me feel despite how much it hurt to, proved that I indeed still felt our connection hadn't been severed yet.Here she was, after eavesdropping and listening to the new plan she now wanted to help cement it since she knew her father best compared to me and Prince. Her pleas only upset me because she didn't have a right to be offering to fix what she fucked up in the fi
ILLICIT AFFAIRS Ninety-Eight
Axel’s POVHer eyes looked like the glossiest yet softest shade of brown as she looked at me, I hated how it made me feel sorry that I’d just told her off.A little pout formed on her lips and I turned away from her quickly, she knew exactly what she was doing by looking at me that way. She knew damn well that I could read and almost feel the meanings behind all of her facial expressions, even now.I dragged the chair that was pushed into my study table and sat in it, maybe if I managed to ignore her for long enough she'd take a fucking hint and leave my sight. I huffed angrily as I sat, the main source of my anger being that she still affected me, it scared me that she did.My ears itched to pick up the sound of her feet leaving the room and shutting the door behind her, but it never came. I stared blankly at the system in front of me, I pretended like I was going over some important numbers on the spreadsheet I’d displayed before myself.My attention span was suddenly unreliable as
ILLICIT AFFAIRS Ninety-Nine
AXELI covered my eyes with my palm as though I was ashamed of what we'd just done. If I was being sincere, it's the best thing that has happened to me since the betrayal, everything else had caused me a higher ratio of pain than pleasure in comparison to the exhilarating sex we'd just enjoyed.A low groan left my throat as I rubbed my eyes a little roughly, and moved away from where she lay beside me. We must've drifted off to sleep after tiring ourselves out because I felt slightly better rested just by having her in my arms for what must've only been a few minutes of deep sleep.Even with the knowledge of what we'd just done, and the sex flashbacks from our heated sex being replayed in my head, I couldn't believe that I'd let myself have sex with her. How did she know just how to trigger my primal lust and longing for her? Shit, I'm done for.As much as I wouldn't take back the fact that we'd just fucked, I couldn't stop myself from feeling like I'd betrayed myself. A feeling of se
ILLICIT AFFAIRS 100
Axel’s POVIt felt like my foolish heart was doing splits at the thought of marrying Lisa, while my brain was ironing out a million reasons why it would make sense- the spearheading reason was the fact that she’d betrayed me less than a month ago and made me feel immeasurable pain as a result.That didn't stop my heart from doing summersaults at the fact that I didn't have to lift a finger this time around, and somehow we’d gotten the blessings I would've given anything to get from both of our families. The offer felt surreal to me, I could hardly believe my ears when my father said it, and even now I doubted I’d heard right.I had to stop myself from asking my father to repeat himself, mostly because he hated having to do that so I just had to believe that I’d heard him right. I'm certain that anyone that came across me at any the moment would’ve been able to see the grave shock that had overtaken my features.Right after he’d said it, words failed me when I tried to find a suitable
ILLICIT AFFAIRS 101
LISAAs I stepped out of the Uber that brought me home, my mind didn't do me any favors by replaying the past few days in my head through my mind's eye all over again. When I left Axel, it felt as though my heart had gotten heavier as I got farther away from him, it felt as though all hope was lost for us and it hurt like hell.My emotions had been on an unending rollercoaster from the minute Axel kidnapped me from my hotel room, and somehow even after leaving him, the rollercoaster ride was still in full motion. He might've thought that he didn't torture me, but being with him and yet being apart was definitely the worst form of torture.I could hardly process everything that has happened and my entire mind was a chaotic mess as every day went by, even now I had no idea if Axel would ever forgive me for the unimaginable pain I'd caused him.After taking in a deep breath, I pushed the gates of the house open and walked in gingerly. The truth is that I was hesitant because, with my fam
ILLICIT AFFAIRS 102
Axel's POVI'd finally gotten away from Lisa but I didn't get the breath of fresh air I thought It'd bring me, and that left me feeling somewhat disappointed. I was always on edge around her and my emotions had a mind of their own, but still, her presence was enough to give me some form of comfort even though I wouldn't admit it with a knife to my neck.Just before the drive home, I'd gone to the safe house with Prince to confirm that the shipment has been returned and everything was intact. Even though everyone was convinced that it was intact, I needed to confirm for myself else I'd keep suspecting that Volkov had played a trick on us.At least the knowledge that we'd successfully retrieved the shipment gave me a sense of fulfillment, everything I'd battled through while keeping Lisa hostage wasn't futile after all. I knew that all of the emotions that threatened my sanity didn't do so without accomplishing the mission I'd initially set out to achieve, that fact calmed my raging ner
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