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Chapter 39: Fucked-up Depressed State
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Juicy Chapter 40: Two Weeks Later
Troy hung up the phone, staring at it for a full five minutes before he pulled himself around. It had been nearly two weeks now and Juicy hadn't answered the phone in days.He knew that meant that she was pretty peeved. So he made sure that his messages listed every single thing that he did. He would ramble on until the voice mail shut off and the busy tone was all that he could hear.He rubbed his tired eyes and lay across the single bed that had been his so many years before. It wasn't even night yet, but the medication didn't follow the same timeline that the rest of the world followed. When he got tired he slept and that could be even two hours after he'd risen for the day.Troy's eyes drooped and he was soon sleeping deeply and dreaming of the same thing; Juicy.The day that Troy had left their apartment, he had seen the hurt in Juicy's eyes, but all that he could think of is how piss poor of a father he would make. Troy knew the facts, and that fact is that a chil
Juicy Chapter 41: Asking For Help
Mom sat down hard. "Honey, I thought you said that you always felt that you weren't bipolar. I mean, I believe that's true. I don't think that you ever were. Later, when I thought back on it all, it just seemed that they wanted to fill you up with as many things as they could; almost like they were rolling the dice." Troy gave her a surprised look. He never thought that his Mother had an opinion about what was going on with the medication. Even now, he had thought that she was Dad's parakeet—and if he should change his mind about everything, then so would she. But the look on her face showed so much regret. "Back then, your Dad and I thought that we should just trust the doctors without question. Now I know better." Dad reached over and hugged her briefly.After a moment Troy spoke. "I know I'm not bipolar. That's not what I want the medication for.""Okay." His father waited for him to continue."But I have tics, and migraines which I can live with; but not the seiz
Juicy Chapter 42: Fear mixed with Awe and Joy
Still, his parents continued to make calls and made appointments anyway even though they were sixty and sometimes ninety days down the line. Feeling disappointed and anxious, Troy wondered what in the hell people did when they had an emergency and couldn't wait? Didn't the fact that he had a baby on the way constitute an emergency? Thinking about Juicy and her being pregnant still made him anxious, but behind it was an awe and a joy that they'd created something special together. He went back up to his room and called her. He hadn't intended to make her wait all day, but he had not realized that he would sleep so deeply. At the last minute he decided to leave a message on the answering machine instead of calling her cell. He had visions of her yelling at him in front of the customers…or worse, not yelling at him and just sounding disappointed. He cleared his voice nervously and waited for her recorded message that ended with, 'have a blessed day.'"Hi, Juice." He began pac
Juicy Chapter 43: Where Is She?!
He rubbed his head and jogged down the stairs. His Dad was taking him down to meet with someone from the Mental Health Alliance to discuss things and to maybe get some pamphlets on treatment plans. Things had changed in the way of medication since he'd last been evaluated. He was intrigued and fearful. But every time he thought about holding a newborn baby in his hands and then blacking out, he would swallow back his second thoughts.As he got into the car he just hoped that no one would judge him based on the fact that he was wearing stone washed jeans and a Lord of the Rings t-shirt. He hadn't brought a change of clothes and had been forced to dig through his closet for the clothes of his youth. "When do you want to do this, Troy?" Alonzo Hoya was asking. He was in his thirties, and was a pleasant Hispanic man that had the hairiest knuckles that Troy had ever seen. He tried not to focus on them the way you try not to look at the huge wart on a person's face."We-we-well,
Juicy Chapter 44: Still Sick
A burly black man gently placed his hands on Troy's arms and helped him to stand. "If we can get you out of this elevator, then we can let these doors shut and that will put an end to that loud noise."That made sense. So Troy accepted his help and was led out of the elevator. His entourage followed. Damnit, some of them were furiously writing on clipboards. Had he screwed up already? This was not his fault!He felt a pulse in his temple and knew that he was going to be in the throes of a violent headache. He really hadn't wanted to have a migraine while here. He wanted to be able to talk about his issues and get treatment for the seizures. He'd be a long time coming up from a headache…Instead of leading him to his room, he was led to an examining room. He squinted at the black guy; Kelly? No it wasn't Kelly but he felt the same way about him as he had about the kindly officer so many years ago. "Kelly, can I call my girlfriend?"Kelly gave him a patient look. "You
Juicy Chapter 45: Jace
When Troy opened his eyes again, it was because someone was watching him. He knew it even before becoming fully awake and he moved his hands up into a defensive position before scrambling up in bed.He had scared the young man…or, he thought he was a man; either an effeminate male or a very ugly girl. He had long black hair that ran down past his shoulders and green eyes set in a pale face. His hair had to be a dye job. No one that white could possibly have hair that black. He seemed young, certainly no older then seventeen or eighteen.The guy moved back immediately and Troy wondered what he had been doing in his personal space in the first place. "You've been asleep a long time, dude." The guy answered the unspoken question. He shrugged and Troy relaxed, lowering his hands and sitting up in the bed. It was a different bed; a real one and not just the pleather examining table covered in paper. He looked around. It was a simple room with two beds, two desks, two lamps—
Juicy Chapter 46: Getting Acclimated
Troy sipped his coffee and watched the kid. "Well, I don't have a problem with that. I have nothing to hide." He blushed when he remembered that the boy was 5150. Perhaps he had a lot to hide.Jace tugged down the sleeves of his hoodie, than began spooning cheerios into his mouth. He was quite the talkative boy, even if he didn't mention the reason for his being here. He told Troy about being in his first year of college and how hard it was. He told him that he was a woman born in a man's body and that his parents had gone through a horrible divorce—and he speculated if being transgendered had anything to do with it. He explained that his college roommate was a jerk, and had probably gone through all of his stuff.Troy was tired just listening to him. And when Rebecca returned he was glad to throw his scraps into the trash and follow her wherever she needed to take him. Jace gave him a sad look when he got up to leave and Troy had to promise that they'd see each other later
Juicy Chapter 47: New Medicine
Troy left the room quickly, his mouth felt dry; cotton mouth. Probably a side effect of what Dr. Barren had just given him or what he'd been given yesterday. He decided to go up to the cafeteria for something to drink. He was thinking of ways to sneak into one of the private offices to use the phone when he saw Jace and a heavily made up Goth girl sitting at a table playing cards. "Troy!" Jace waved at him excitedly. "That's my roommate." He directed to the girl. She eyed him with appreciation. She didn't seem much older than seventeen or eighteen herself and he began to wonder if the entire nation wasn't filled with mentally disturbed children.He headed to their table with a cup of water from the cooler and then pulled out a chair and sat, not planning to stay long. He wasn't feeling very social. "Hey Jace." "He is cute." The girl said while staring at him and Troy glanced at Jace who was blushing furiously."Uh…did you decide on whether you're going to group or on
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