Xander“True, but I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. I’m not sure I want to be there anymore. I’m not sure about anything anymore.”She was quiet for a while. “I get it. I understand you are going through something. Can I ask you to do one thing?”“What is it?”“Don’t make any rash decisions just yet. Don’t sell your house. I’m not saying you need to come back right away but give yourself some time.”“I’ll think about it.”“My life is in San Diego,” she said. “Not that it matters, but I guess you will know where to find me if you ever want to talk.”“Evie, this doesn’t have to end between us,” I blurted out.“I live there. My father is there. My job is there. That’s where I need to be. I understand you don’t want to be there. I won’t ask you to do anything you don’t want to do.”“I’ll make this work,” I told her. “I don’t want this to be over. I want you to be a part of my life.”She offered a small smile. “You know where to find me.”“I do.”I wasn’t sure how I would make it work. I
EvieThe plane jerked as the wheels hit the runway, signaling I was back home after a minor delay in Portland. I was anxious to get home and to the safety of my apartment. I needed my safe place. I wanted to be wrapped up in the things that made me feel safe and comfortable. It was hard to leave him behind. He said he wanted to make it work, but that was impossible.My life was in California. My work kept me busy. It wouldn’t make a lot of sense to fly back and forth to Portland or wherever he ended up going. I’d fought for him. I’d tried. Xander had some things to work through and there was nothing more I could do to help him do that.I texted Nelle to let her know the plane landed. She was already waiting for me.“Hi,” she greeted me when I made my way to the baggage collection area.“Hi.”“You don’t look happy.”“It’s a long story.”“I took the night off. We’ll go back to your place and you can tell me everything over a glass or five of wine.”“Yes, please,” I groaned.Thirty minut
Evie“You could start your own company and be a party planner wherever you are. I bet your lovely man would be more than happy to make a financial investment in your company. This might be your chance to do the one thing I know you have wanted for a long time.”“What would that be?”“To start your own company,” she answered.I did want to start my own company. “But my reputation is here in southern California. I have developed connections here. If I had to go somewhere else, it would be starting over. I would have nothing. No clients. No reputation. No anything.”“Everyone has to start somewhere.”“But I did already start. My dream is to start my own company here.”She waved a hand. “If you go somewhere else, you wouldn’t have to compete with your current employer. You wouldn’t have to worry about noncompete clauses and all that crap.”She had a good point. “I don’t know. I went up there to be with him. I assumed he would be coming back either with me or shortly after. I never expecte
XanderI slowly pushed the lever, opening the throttle on my new boat. It was a ridiculous splurge and nothing that I needed but I wanted it. It was one of those things that just came to me in the middle of the night. Evie had teased me about my old boat. She was right. I could buy anything I wanted. I loved boats. I used to look at some of the other boats in the marina and get boat envy. Why was I envious when I could go and buy exactly what I wanted? And that was exactly what I did.The wind blew across my face, sending a cold chill over me. I was still adjusting to the cooler weather. Not adjusting. I didn’t want to adjust. I wasn’t staying in Oregon. I was going to move on. I just wasn’t sure where. I felt like a man without a home. Technically, I did have a home, but it didn’t feel like my home.I thought about Evie as the boat slowly bobbed up and down with a gentle sway. We had only spoken a few times since she left. There were plenty of texts between us, but it wasn’t the same
Xander“My good senses are fine,” I told Charlie. “I’m embarking on a new stage in my life.”“What about the rest of us?”I shrugged. “Why does what I do matter? I’m not asking you to do anything. This is what I have to do.”“Your design for the new rudder system was one of the hottest topics in our world. My company beefed up our maintenance and install teams. We ordered the tools and equipment that would be needed to retrofit the older ships. All we were waiting for were the orders. We knew they would come once you gave your presentation. We already had a few companies in line, ready to send us their ships to be outfitted with your new design. And then you bailed. You left all of us hanging.”“I didn’t mean to cause anyone any trouble,” I told him, feeling the bite of his anger.“No, I know you didn’t. That’s not how you are. You are generous and responsible, and you have always thought about others.”“And you are saying I’m not doing that now?”He didn’t immediately answer, which t
EvieI couldn’t shake the heavy feeling on my heart and mind. I missed Xander. Each day he stayed away served as confirmation our relationship was not what I thought it was.He had his own life. He was making plans and moving on. His plans did not include me. I did believe he felt something for me, but it wasn’t enough to bring him back to me.“You look like you haven’t been sleeping,” my father said.I looked across the table and offered a small and what I hoped was a reassuring smile. “I’ve been working a lot.”“I don’t think that’s the reason for your lack of sleep. If anything, you would sleep like a baby after a long day at work.”“I have a lot on my mind,” I said with a sigh.He sipped his tea. I could never understand how he could drink hot tea on a hot day. “Do you want to tell me what happened? You’ve been so busy—or maybe you’ve been avoiding me—you never told me if you found Xander.”“I found him,” I said. My mind flashed back to the moment I found him at the funeral. Then
Evie“Even if it involves Xander or another former student you don’t like?” I teased.Dad groaned, shaking his head. “Yes. I am not going to say I’ll like it, but I will be there for you.”I blew out a breath. “I feel better. I’m glad we got to talk.”“You don’t look like you feel better. You still look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders.”“I just feel like I’m losing him.”“It’s been a long time since I’ve been in a relationship,” he said with a wistful look on his face. “I remember when I found out your mother was not going to grow old with me. I remember that feeling of just pure devastation. The two situations are not the same, but I think you really care about this man. Dare I say love him?”“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “I’m so confused. I think I do but then I question whether or not it is the real thing.”“But you are torn apart about the idea of not seeing him again. You are devastated by the thought of not being with him. That tells me it’s real.”
XanderI walked out of the airport, and the California sun immediately warmed my skin. I didn’t think I would ever be back, but here I was. Charlie’s words had hit home. I needed to do something to fix the mess I created. I called earlier to have a car waiting for me at the airport. Charlie didn’t know I was coming. I wanted to surprise him like he’d surprised me.I was dropped off at the massive building where he worked. Thankfully, security recognized me and let me in. Charlie was not on the floor, but he was in his office, which worked out great for me. I knocked once before letting myself in.“Excuse me,” he said with irritation before he looked up and saw me. He wore a shocked look on his face. “Holy shit.” “I’ll take that as a good holy shit.”“You’re back!”I held up a hand. “No. I’m here to see you.”“Oh. I’m afraid to ask why. Do I dare ask you to sit?”“I’m going to anyway,” I quipped.I sat down and looked around this office. It was small, dark, and filled with books cover