Would Have Beens

Daddy,

I feel weird as I say this to you because come to think of it, you were never my father. I never had a father. I've written to you several years ago. I sent you an email asking if I can meet you, but you never responded and now I'm writing to you from my grave. Seventeen years and you never reached out to me. Did you even attend my funeral? Did you at least shed fake tears? 

Do you know how many days and nights I prayed that you will show up at our doorstep and rescue me from the hell I was in? I was 10 years old when I learned the truth. To tell you honestly, I've always felt off, I know there must be a reason for Brandon to hate me so much and why my mom has never shown me any tenderness. I wish she could have told me sooner. Had I known I would have done everything I could to get help, because Brandon raped me when I was 9. He did it almost every day, when he got so sick and died it was the best day of my life. But you see, it's not just about knowing