Chapter 5

I sink lower into the warm bath. Letting the water and the music try to do their job to relax me. Work sucked today. Nothing crazy, I have just had enough for the day. The heat of the water turns my pale skin pink. My toes peek out over the bubbles and I inspect them for any chips in the dark polish. I am terrible about keeping up with them. Hell, half the time they are covered up so does it even matter.

If I am being real with myself, I don’t have much care to give anything anymore really. When Ryan died the only emotion left inside of me was grief. Man, I did not know that that level of grief was even possible. I couldn’t eat and barley slept in the beginning. The first week the grief stole 15 lbs from me. My parents were worried sick. They were always hovering and checking on me. It meant a lot considering I could not seem to make any decisions about anything. We were never super close, but they stepped up and we grew closer. Dad was extra protective of me during that time.

 Things are better now. I can smile and laugh. Anger seems to be the last emotion back to the party. Nothing seems worth getting angry over. I can feel a tear slipping down my cheek and I sink down until my head is underwater. Just for a minute. I give myself a minute in my grief. I can’t live in it, but I can’t hide from it either. Coming up out of the water I hear my phone ting with the sound of a text coming through. I can ignore it, it’s probably not important. Not even going to look. I close my eyes again and wish the world away. Then another ting. Dang it, can I just enjoy my bath?!

Grabbing my towel to dry my hands first, I scoop up the phone and send out a little prayer to not drop the damn thing in the tub. Z’s name appears on my screen.

“hey Love whats up”

“Coming over, you home”

“….I am home, in the tub….how long before you get here”

“Pictures or it didn’t happen…😉”

Wait, what?! That was flirty, Z doesn’t do flirty. How do I respond to this? How do I want to respond to this? Think Ashton don’t make it awkward! I snap a picture of my legs that are now rest on the side of the tub and hit send. Shit, shit, shit, How is he going to respond. That picture seemed safe enough. Just as my picture shows sent I get the next text.

“Just kidding love…it’s an internet joke.”

Well shit, now it’s too late. Another ting and my heart is about to beat out of my chest.

“DAMN ASHTON….FUCK!”

Then the doorbell rings. I stand up and step out trying not to bust my ass while grabbing my towel. I barley run it over my body before I grab my robe and throw it on and belt it as I rush to the door. I swing the door open. Zain is standing at the door with a strange look in his dark eyes. I step back to let him in. He steps in and closes the door behind him without ever taking his eyes off mine. Once the door is shut, he leans down slowly, giving me time to stop whatever is about to happen. I freeze and he softly touches his lips to mine. Then I kiss him back. It is a sweet kiss. A kiss to test the waters. He pulls his head back and barely whispers.

“You have the softest lips.”