Pressure is one of the compensatory illnesses in the heart that may indicate a worse heart problem, high pressure is always the indication of something to worry about, and at this moment standing naked in front of Amber, I feel like I am having a high pressure within me...or I just simply feel pressured...her question is indeed squeezing me tight right now!"I-I don't know...I am not sure, I-I have been working for twelve years in different hospitals so I may bump into you somehow...I don't remember now, I am sorry"I said still controlling my arms from shaking while she is just staring at me that way, damn, I am not good at this, I manage to act normal and simple like I don't know her at all since day one but right now, her questions, somehow making me realize I am not really good on acting.Seeing her silent makes me really want to go to move and make a step a little and speak again."This has been a long day for me, can I just go home instead..."I said and then face the washroom a
Between two important things, how will you weigh which is which to prioritize? standing and staring at the patient in bed three, my mind is now playing with that thoughts, looking at my watch I can only have one and half hours for Frances's surgery, but this patient in front of me, without further tests yet, I already have the idea of what he is suffering from.I just swallow a deep breath and then walk toward the patient."Hi I am Doctor Esther""Hi Doc, I am Rina I am his wife, he is George""Okay, George, can you tell me how you feel right now? any pain?""Well aside from the sudden change of my color, I always feel pained in the back and in here, also I feel bloated at times"The patient said I am about to say something when his wife speak."Oh and I want to add, he seems very lethargic and low energy, you see he is the only one who works in our family, but these past days, he cants go to work anymore""Because there is something that causes him that and that is what we are going
"Charge 300!!! Clear!!!""Oh god Lisa please hold on!!!"And then I go back doing the CPR but the patient isnt responding anymore, the heart stops and so I need to call it.I look at the clock and then announce the time of death.I am still exhaust doing all I can but I guess not everything we want isnt entitled to happen, as doctors, as much as possible we need to avoid patient's death but the word avoid is overrated! dealing with death...or simply dealing with what we dont want to happen.At this moment when my patient die I just couldnt take hearing the relatives crying, yes I should be get used to it but I am not, I need to escape my ass from it.Still feeling exhaust I walk towards the cafeteria and have some sugar liquid, it really helps my brain to get relaxed.It has been four days after knowing what my bestfriend Monica tries to do with Amber, I dont know but I just couldnt believe she will end up doing that, stealing my position in Amber's mind, pretend to be me is just unfo
Opening my eyes felt like I have been sleeping for a hundred years, I feel tired and exhausted for some reason.I try to look around and it is dark, really dark, until she appears in front me, this woman without face, she keep on talking to me but I cant hear it, I cant even hear a sound, what is really going on!?My eyes starts to get wet, I feel like I am going to burst out in tears...hmmmm sob*sob*hmmm...why is this happening to me?"Dad..."I keep shouting for Dad but he isnt around until I heard it a sound..."Tooo...toot..tooo..toooot!"And then my eye open...shit! another dream again, or I can say nightmares or just a fractal of my memory that I have lost two years ago.That moment when I woke up in the hospital, I barely can move, I feel like I have something within me...my chest hurts, my heart hurts...I try asking myself what happen to me when Monica appear at my door, a person I dont even remember I met.She is all smile greeting me, I have no time for that, what I want is
When people say changes is risky considering you are afraid of disturbing of what you have used to be done, or what you used to see or feel, opening my eyes in a very different mood, damn, I feel happy, I feel not the one I am used to be, after that night with Amber, when we become open and I follow Vannie's advice, I just let what will happen and just see the outcome and here it is, I am smiling like idiot!Everything I have right now with Amber, I never had or felt before, this is really different, our initial time before our relationship happens is just so fast, we just go with what we think off, we never try to think first, we just had a small talk and then we are good until our relationship sucks, I never know the real Amber within, she never knew me as well within and now things is just...things seems to be in process...it isnt so fast but we talk a lot...we do arguments...I am not sure if this is for the better or not, but I like the flow...I kind of like the changes somehow."
As I burst out in tears last time when Cara died, seriously I never got a good sleep after that, I was out of work for two days, Amber keeps calling me but I have no time answering it, I ask for chief Gilbert's approval of nightshift.Standing in front of the hospital after two days, I just let out an air...here we go...another shot Esther...you can do it! talking to my mind is enough to make me go on with the whole shift.Heading to the ER I can see that there are lots of surprises that I missed!"45 years male complaining a chest pain""Put him in bed four""Hi I am Doctor Esther, what happen to him?""He is my Dad and we just having a dinner and then he suddenly passed out after complaining a sever chest pain""Do you have a history in your family having a heart problem or suffering any chest pain?""I am not sure, but I never seen him complaining like this""Okay, we will run some test for him, we need to check what is going on the nurse will come her and then assist you, I will o
"So, what do you think Amber would like for dinner?""Hmmm she is a good cook than I am, well, I guess whatever you cook will do""Why it seems like you act distance on her at some way...you are friends there is no need for boundaries right?""I am not acting distance Mom...I am just trying to be cool with her I mean she is my boss""Oh god, you know how much I know you sweetie, you like her... a lot...now tell me if I am wrong"And now I am stop with that thought, the word like is not the issue now, she is wearing the face and the body of the person I am in loved with but she is not her...she is way different, so I am not sure if I like her, maybe, within me I am, but I cannot go far with this, she never mention to me that we can go far either..."I like her as who she is, as friends, she is nice mom but if you are asking about the other things, I dont think she is really what she tries to show me""And how would you know that, you both not even get there, you two never talk about it
"What do you want me to do? I said I dont like her! I dont want anything about my past!""But Amber honey, you cant escape the past! soon you will still remember everything and Monica can help you with that!""I will decide when that happens! and will you please, I am not the old me, I am still shock with what you all trying to say, I was as straight as pole as I am before, I never been what you all think of me! and I will sure that!"I said sternly and then end the call, I dont know why she needs to iterate that part on me, yes I feel like I want to be on with Esther but...I still have something within me, I know I am not what the world tries to tell me...If who really I am, I will be the one to discover that! I am now heading to their house to pick her up going to work when my cellphone rings and it is Dad."Hey Dad""Hey sweetie, how are you there?""I am doing good though mom never stops""Oh, what can I say, you know her, just dont get her words to your head""I know, so is the