Chapter 32

Plans and plans

I cried for hours. Or maybe more than that. But mostly I was somewhat comforted because of Iris. I know I was playful, smiling, angry, and laughing at one moment and the next second I was crying like a newborn baby. If anyone was in her place they would have left me or laughed at me. But she was there and she actually comforted me. I am thankful to her. Even if I was in her position I would have panicked. I know her words are playful. Just the impact seems wrong on me. It just brought back my past once again.

Though those memories are buried in my brain where I don't want to remember again, they just came up again. Maybe opening up all of those brought me back to it. It was just a reminder of how bad I was. I was bad as a mother, I was bad as a girlfriend. I was bad as a sister and I was bad as a daughter. Maybe that's why everyone seems to leave me. I failed as a lover and I fear to fail as a human too. My emotions went into haywire all o