21

I was doing it. I was going to the library. I was going to pick up my book. I was going to speak to him.

I told this to myself again and again. What was stopping me now? I’d masturbated naked in front of a man…what could be scarier than that?

I had spent approximately two hours getting ready. I knew I needed to look as good as was possible, without it being obvious that I had tried too hard.

After a series of agonising wardrobe changes, I had settled on dark skinny jeans and a black t-shirt with my new navy wool coat over the top. I decided to go with my doc martens for shoes. After all, I needed something about me to be authentic.

I had by no means mastered the art of make-up but I could now at least apply the basics and not have it look like a three-year old had drawn on my face with a pen.

Thursday mornings in the library were usually a quieter time. The night before was the various society’s official night out. That meant a lo