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36. Who the hell am I kidding?

NATE

I exhale a tired sigh, pulling myself up into a sitting position and resting my aching arms over my knees. Tasha is all I think about, and I will be so damned and fucked up this Saturday if I lose focus. I do not know if her presence on that day will be a blessing or a distraction, but I really hope it turns out to be the former.

After a while, Alex stands and offers me his hand, which I accept. He helps me up to my feet.

"I would have suggested we spar some more, but it is clear you are not mentally in shape right now, so I am gonna leave you to figure out your shit," he pats my shoulder. "Go home and get some rest. Tomorrow we continue, but before then, please get your mind together."

I nod. "Sure. Thank you Alex." I mutter.

He corks me a smile, patting me some more before walking out of the training area, heading to his office. I watch him close the door after he steps inside.

"What's bugging you man?" Marco asks, giving me a quizzical look.

"Nothing." I bend and pick up the to
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