FELIX.I’m an idiot.Brynn had made me angry with her rejections, and her sudden acceptance of Asher’s advances, and in return, I angered her the only way I knew how to. I wanted her to feel how I felt but as I lie down here now, back to the ground and arms spread wide on the floor of the restroom we both came in, Asher and Brynn long gone; I realize maybe I shouldn’t have angered her.Because there’s a difference between Brynn being angered and me being furious. Even in my fury, I still want her—I might want her even more when all the other senses are heightened from rage, but in her anger, Brynn has always pushed me away. I wanted her to take back those words and I might have pushed her last button.It’s a funny thing. Brynn was right; I’ve had multiple sexual encounters, most go far beyond what I did with her and they’ve never meant anything to me. I always made sure the other party got that too, yet a girl telling me our make-out session meant nothing to her triggered my rage and I
FELIX. 'Who’s he, and where did he come from?''Perhaps he snuck in? I thought the security was good. How did someone like him get in?''He mustn’t have realized this isn’t a place for him. How dare he try to go against Jude?'Murmurs of how I’m an outcast who doesn’t belong here fill the air, and I lower my head to the ground as I try to breathe through my nose when my neck tightens."He didn’t do anything. We just got into an argument. You can let him go." I feel the men restrain their hold and I lift my eyes to Jade’s. Although she told them to let me go, her eyes aren’t soft. They’re fierce, warning of a bigger consequence if I try what I did a second time. We engage in a silent, staring challenge before she’s pulled away by her friends and the surrounding crowd quickly disperses."Felix!” One of them remains and runs to me. Sasha grabs onto my arm as she pulls me up. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t know what to do, and I just panicked—"Brynn wasn’t here. She’d have come forward if she w
BRYNN.I walk out of my room and take the center stairs back to the ground floor. My eyes quickly scan the area around the living room and when I don’t see them, I go through the back door to the only place I know I’d find them.As I step onto the grass and get closer to the grill space, I hear the sound of Mom’s familiar laugh whenever she’s with Dad before I even see their faces and I quicken my steps, gripping onto the sides of my skirt.Sure enough, they are there, changed out of their party clothes and Dad is behind the cemented counter, placing the tray of grilled food down before removing his gloves while Mom is seated on the chair in the middle of the room."Hey," I announce my presence as I step into the space and both heads turn to me. "I hope I’m not interrupting?" I look at Dad, who shakes his head and gestures to the food he has set before him. "Care to join us?""No. I’m just out for a while." I offer politely and he nods before turning to grab some drinks off the small
FELIX.Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.Fucking no.I just messed up.I was just looking through her profile. I swear to God; I was just checking and I don’t know how my finger slipped across the screen, and clicked on her follow button. Fuck. I’m not supposed to follow her. I have my picture on my icon and she’d be able to tell it’s me.Or not.Her followers increase a significant amount every day and since she’s rarely active on social media, she might not even check the app’s notifications. And if she does, I’d be amongst tens that follow her in a second. She won’t notice. She can’t. She shouldn’t. She mustn’t.I click my tongue as my finger just freezes on my screen, and I wonder if I should click on the button again to unfollow. I mean, since I already followed… what the fuck?I sit up, the hand towel dropping from my stomach and my brows furrow as I refresh her page again, but it brings the same stuff.Her posts are blank.Did she just… she just fucking blocked me? She saw me follow her, and sh
FELIX.I’m a shitty person. I know I’ve always been a shitty person, but at least I wasn’t like that to the few people I care about—one of them being my best friend. But after getting myself involved with his ex-girlfriend, I’m just realizing what a shittier person I’ve turned into.I haven’t thought about Asher a single bit since the other night. Since he left me covered in bruises—which I’m guessing I deserved—I haven’t seen him or reached out to try to settle things between us. Or even offer an explanation as to why I’m suddenly going after the girl he still loves.And if I didn’t just think about where I was going to crash again tonight, he probably wouldn’t have crossed my mind even.But I guess that’s for the best. I don’t think he’d want to see my face after I blatantly boasted about how I had my hands in Brynn’s pants and it wouldn’t have ended well if I had seen his because I might regret saying those words, but I don’t regret doing that and I’m still not backing off.I hurl
FELIX.Pain.Fuck. It hurts like a motherfucker.Where the fuck am I? Why can’t I move my body? Why do I feel so weak? My head hurts. So does my jaw. And my cheeks. My hands too. And my back… fuck. What’s happening?“Are you finally awake?” I hear a voice sound in the distance and I try to turn my neck, but I fucking can’t. What the fuck? “Can you hear me?” The voice comes again and I hear a door shut, followed by the sound of footsteps.Am I kidnapped right now? Chained somewhere? Why can’t I move my damn body? Not even my legs?"Felix." A head comes over my face, obstructing the sickening view of the white ceiling I’ve been forced to stare at since my eyes opened and my lips part when I recognize him. He smiles. "Hey there, kid.""Lemuel." My voice sounds so fucking small and it hurt my throat to say that. "Lem, I—" he looks concerned as he watches me struggle. I meet his eyes again after attempting to shift on my side and failing. "I can’t fucking move.""That’s normal." He says an
FELIX.Sometimes, I surprise myself with the lengths I go to for some things.Like right now.A girl that passes by with her friends gives me a weird look and I salute with an awkward chuckle before returning to drag the mop across the floor of the hallway.It’s closing period and they’re rushing out of their classes while I stay alert for one particular black-haired girl. I’ve never been here and I have no idea where she’s going to pop out from or if I’ll even be lucky to find her alone, but I’m looking out anyway. Even just catching a glimpse of her walking out and not getting to talk to her is all right by me. I just need to see her face with my naked eyes.Another group of students chatters as they walk past me, each of them looking just as fancy and expensive as every other I’ve seen—Records Academy is the school for the elites in the town for a reason after all.When the hallways start to empty and I still don’t see her or any of her friends, I start to search through the empty
FELIX.I kiss her like I’ve been starved for months and really, I’ve been.Wild. Feracious. I bite her lips, pull her tongue, and inhale her mouth until Brynn can’t take it anymore and she has to push her back head, loud pants leaving her parted lips as she tries to drag air in.I press my body to her, my hands leaving to her hips as I make her sit on the leveled opening of the window. From this angle, I have to lower my head completely to meet her gaze, and the lust in hers makes my heart weak.I don’t know what she’s doing, but a shudder rolls off my shoulder when she removes one of her hands from around my neck and presses it to my cheek. It isn’t a hard press, even less of a caress, as if she’s afraid to touch my skin, but that doesn’t make my heart flutter any less when Brynn asks. "What happened to your face?" There’s a tiny cut left on my right cheekbone from the incident, but it’s almost faded and I didn’t realize she was staring hard enough at my face to notice.I grin at her.