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144

"Do you want to know the truth, Gabby? I don't know how to act if it's not like that, being cold. Because almost two hundred people were poisoned tonight and are in critical condition, because of me. Some may survive with sequelae, others may tell the story of the day when a lunatic's ex-girlfriend put everything at risk to try to take revenge, but this is much better than the minority that died before receiving help. And I'm afraid to admit my vulnerability before I'm sure it's over.”

"Seen from this angle..." weighs Gabby. "But you need to see that denial will only postpone your suffering. Cry now, if you want, don't repress the mourning inside you again, Suzy.”

I give a mocking smile.

"Unfortunately, having a problem with my choices is not something I can control without medicine and a lot of therapy, as you already know.”

A small and miserable part of me feels proud for not having an immediate response from Gabby. His physiognomy changes from a desperate hope to an eternal dismay.
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