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Long before I met Jonathan, I tried to deal with my problems with oblivion, with ignorance. Because I thought that not admitting something could make it less true. So I didn't admit my mistakes, and I didn't see the mistakes in others, because that way it was easier to continue acting naturally even with the chaos in my head.

This caused me problems in the future, made me sick and weakened. I filled my head with unnecessary occupations. On the other hand, I learned several languages, traveled the world to graduate as many courses as I could, I got a chance to show everyone who blamed me that I could be better than that. But inside, there has always been the shadow of a child hidden in my tangle of memories. There has always been instability.

I open the door that takes me to the leisure area of the roof, where the water in my pool is motionless and apparently very cold. The large window that allows me to see the sky is open, blowing a cold breeze against my loose hair, pushing it to my
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