81 — I did it again…

I open my eyes, my eyelids heavy... No, actually my whole body is heavy, but it seems to sink into the warm, cozy water. Gradually, my vision gets used to it and blurs, and the scenery that has become familiar over the last week unfolds before me. I blink a few times, the light bothering me, then my eyes go down to my body submerged in the tub... and Jasper's hands rubbing my arms.

I move my gaze to him, slowly, almost sleepily... my thoughts are still searching for order, I'm still trying to understand what's going on and, above all, when I got back to the hotel. So I open my strangely parched lips and try to say something, but my throat is dry, and my voice won't come out.

“It's okay, Reddy...” Jasper brings his wet hand up to my face, rubbing his thumb over my cheek, as if wiping away a stain. “It's all right now.”

I clear my throat, trying to swallow down the knot that's formed preventing me from expressing these doubts, and then I struggle to say, in a thin, flawed voice, “What..