44

I lied so well that sometimes I even convinced myself of that. But as much as I repeated that out loud, I couldn't believe it. I won't forget the way Flynn kissed me, the rubbing of his beard against my face, the way his hair was soft to the touch... I would never forget how he used his finger to try to prepare me to receive his penis, and that it was of no use, because it hurt as if I was losing my virginity, and it was pleasurable as if I were dying.

Beatrice seemed to read everything on my face, and her smile became a shadow of pure malice. I coughed and straightened my shoulders, wanting to get over the situation. My friend studied me very coldly.

" Stop thinking about what you should or shouldn't say, Tasha. You're not a machine.”

I gestured with my shoulders.

"It turns out that I don't really know who I am, Bia. And I'm tired of disappointing people.”

"All right. Do whatever you want," said Beatrice, sighing with frustration. "I'll still be here, in case you need it. But don't p