45

Somehow I managed to get rid of Beatrice's sermons, but she gave me a considerable amount of tea bags to take to my apartment, and made a point of accompanying me to my door. In general, I would rather have tea than coffee, but nothing served to calm me down, and the mess in my head seemed like a whirlpool. I wouldn't be able to calm down even if I took medicine.

Beatrice grumbled a few words of farewell and reprimand, however, I decided not to listen, not to absorb. And I entered my apartment as fast as I could, leaning against the door and sitting on the floor. The cold floor came into contact with my lower thighs, and my whole body seemed to get cold from one hour to the next, so I pulled my legs up to my chest and hugged, laying my head on my arms.

I knew it would all be easier if I could really say loud and clear the way I felt, but I just didn't know how to do it, and I thought that meeting Beatrice at that time of night would help me think more clearly. However, I had only been