Lazarus wasn't beside me when I woke up. For a second, I thought it was all a dream. But then, when I tried to move, I felt the sudden pang of pain in my between. I immediately get my phone to check if Lazarus is already home. Nakasanayan na rin dahil tuwing umaga palaging siya ang nauunang magtext sa amin. Hindi naman ako nabigo nang makita ang pangalan niya sa notification. Napangiti ako. Hindi pa natatapos itong araw ay parang buo na kaagad ako.Lazarus:Good morning, sunshine. I'm already at home. Lazarus:I hate having to leave you in the morning :(Napabalikwas ako ng higa. Nag-iinit ang mga pisngi. My pillows smell like him. Is it wrong if I just woke up and I already miss him? Me:Good morning, too! I wish we could be lazy in bed together all day.I sighed. I'm really smitten. Ni hindi ko man lang siya natanong kung ano nangyari kahapon pagkatapos naming umalis doon at kung paano siya nakapasok sa kwarto ko. We were so busy making love that all the words coming out from
"Palabasin niyo ako dito!" hinampas ko ng hinampas ang pinto.Wala nang lumalabas na luha sa mga mata ko. Pagod na ako at hindi pa rin maalis ang pait at galit sa puso ko. Paano nila nagawa ito sa sarili nilang anak?Grief does not lessen over time, it just gets more familiar. I learned to live with the constant dull ache and a sadness so profound that I cannot give it a name. Grief bleeds into every aspect of my life, demanding to be felt. Parang sapak iyon sa akin eh. The people who let me down are the one I am supposed to trust- and they are my family."Palabasin niyo ako!" garalgal na ang boses kong sigaw. Ikinulong nila ako sa bakanteng maid's room. Hindi ko alam kung ilang araw na akong nandito. I lost count. Walang orasan at tanging kama lang ang nandito. Iyong kama ay may mahabang kadena- kadenang nakatali sa paa ko. Para hindi ako tuluyang makaalis.Pakiramdam ko, ginawa nila akong aso, hindi anak nila. Hindi ko alam kung paano nila nasisikmurang gawin ito sa akin. Wala b
Nagising ako nang maramdaman ang mahigpit na pagpulupot ng isang kamay sa may tiyan ko. Napamuklat ako ng mga mata. Nabigla.Nasan ako?!Wala sa sariling napaupo ako sa kama. Dahilan para maalis ang pagkakakapit ng kamay sa akin. Mabilis kong ineksamin ang paligid. Hanggang sa napunta ang tingin sa aking katabi.Nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa nakita. He groaned. Nagising siya sa pagkakatulog. Kinukusot-kusot ngayon ang mga mata."Lazarus..." sambit ko. Malungkot itong ngumiti sa akin. Inabot ang mga kamay ko at pinagsalikop ito. The warmth of his hands makes me feel safe, sane and secured. Inabot ko ang mukha niya at dahan-dahang hinaplos ang pisngi niya. Umigting ang kanyang panga. Totoo ba ito? Totoo bang siya itong nahahawakan ko ngayon?O nananaginip lang ako?"You're so handsome, are you really my boyfriend?" tumawa ako ng pagak. He catched my hand and then he kissed it wholeheartedly. Nanatili itong tahimik. Hindi ko alam kung namamalikmata lang ako pero parang nagtutubig ang mg
My mouth watered the moment I spotted the food he cooked. It's seven in the morning, kaya mga pang-agahan ang mga niluto niya."I didn't know that you can cook." nakahalumbaba sa lamesa kong sabi. He's now cooking garlic fried rice. Wala itong damit dahil suot ko ang tshirt niya kaya naka-boxer shorts lang ito.He turned his gazed into my direction and smiled. I sucked in a sharp breath as his shirtless torso was exposed to me. Gawking wouldn't quite describe my state. "You didn't asked," the side of his lips rose. "All you know is to eat me.""Napakabastos!""Ikaw yun.""Whatever! I wonder how does it taste!"His brows shot; smirk is still evident on his face. Binitawan niyang bahagya ang sandok. "Ng alin?" bigla niyang pinausdos ang kamay niya sa hubad na dibdin niya. Iminuwestra ang katawan. Parang nang-aakit. His body was drool-worthy. He had a chiseled chest and the skin on it was glowing healthily. His abdominals were sculptured to perfection as his six-packs pop, instantly
Pagkatapos maligo ay dumiretso ako sa may vanity mirror para magblower ng buhok. I was only wearing a white robe. Naririnig ko ang tawanan at kantiyawan ng mga kaibigan ni Lazarus sa labas."Hindi ka na babalik ng seminaryo?" his friend asked. Manipis lang ang dingding at maliit lang ang unit kaya naririnig ko pa rin ang ingay nila sa labas. Kanino kayang unit ito? At nasaan kaya kami? Hindi ko pa pala natatanong sa kanya."Hindi na." It was Lazarus. Naghiyawan ang grupo. Inaasar ulit siya. "Welcome to the club! Si Garreth nalang ang last man standing sa grupo!""Sigurado ka na dyan, Lazarus?""Oo nga. Baka nabibigla lang ang titi mo?""Ang bastos naman, Trevor!""Ay pasensya na, Father Garreth.""Pero di nga? Sigurado ka na dyan sa desisyon mo?""Sigurado na ako sa kanya, Finn.""Goosebumps pare! Never thought that you would say things like that!" The group's laughter exploded. I could feel the heat growing on my cheeks. Napapailing ako habang hindi maalis ang ngiti sa mga labi.P
I woke up from sleep as I felt a hand seemed to assume a life of its own as it caressed and explored my body. I lightly pushed it but he started kissing his way down my neck, to my firm young breasts, his lips found their way to my left areola and nipple. "Shit. What the hell- Ahh. Lazarus!" I moaned with increased pleasure. I was about to stop him but worshipfully, he extended his lips around it in long, slow, repeated kisses, even as he caressed and gently squeezed my left tit. "Ahh..."For a long, long time he kissed and gentlysucked my breasts, his tongue running circles around the nipple as it first hardened and then receeded into my swelling areola.Gradually, his mouth engulfed more and more of my breast in his mouth as he continued to gently suck."Ang sarap, Lazarus..." He couldn't get enough of my tit in his mouth; hewanted to swallow it all, whole.My hands gently pushing his head away from my breast and down towards mytummy. He began kissing his way slowly down to m
Tulala akong lumabas sa banyo. Sobrang bilis ng tibok ng puso. Gulong-gulo ang isipan.Hindi iyon imposibleng mangyari dahil ni hindi ko siya matandang gumamit ng condom o anumang proteksyon kapag nagtatalik kami. Sa sobrang sabik namin sa isa't-isa hindi na namin naisip iyon.O ako lang ang hindi nakaisip? Paano kung pinipikot ako nito?Pero paano kung hindi niya alam na ganun? We're both virgin before we did that. Hindi ba iyon tinuro sa seminaryo? Baka labag sa kanila ang iputok sa labas, baka isiping abortion na iyon!Mag-iisang buwan na simula nang mangyari 'yon. Inisip ko ang mga oras na may nangyari sa amin. Imposible namang, last week iyon nabuo, alam ko sa loob niya rin pinutok eh- nung pumasok siya sa kwarto ko. Hindi naman pwedeng ganun. Ang bilis naman. Ang alam ko 3 or 4 weeks bago mo malaman na buntis ka.Buntis. I shivered with that thought. Shit. Ako? Buntis? Kay Lazarus?If that was the case, if my hunch was true, are we ready to be parents? Am I ready to be a mothe
"Aviona?" he called. Hindi ako sumagot. Kumakain lang.Nilalantakan ko ang cheese na natira sa ref nang hingal na hingal siyang dumating. Nagliwanag ang mga mata niya nang makita ako. Subo-subo ko pa ang cheese sa bibig ko nang madrama niya akong niyakap. He pulled a chair beside me. Naestatwa tuloy ako doon habang niyayakap niya lang ako."Thank you, Aviona! Oh my god, I'll be a great father, I promise!" his eyes twinkled with excitement when he looked at me.How can someone become a good father? I think, it is dealing with your own problems in the most mature way that you can, so that your children can look up to you, so they can call you their hero. It means taking responsibility for your actions. It is sacrificing and it means putting your children before yourself because you love them more than you have ever loved yourself.Lahat nang nasabi ko puro kabaliktaran ng tatay ko. Sana naman hindi maging ganun si Lazarus. Well, I believe Lazarus would be a great father for our chil