Chapter Thirty-Four: James

Nolan’s words from last night are still bouncing around in my head this morning. Was he right? Maybe my revenge is misplaced. Maybe my walls did make it hard to feel love from Colin and Nicole. He was right about one thing; I love my mother. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have come running when I heard what happened. I try to remember back to when I first became obsessed with overthrowing Colin. I had always kept my distance from the family growing up. I can remember being so scared of losing them too, so I thought it would be better for me not to love them. That didn’t stop the love from growing, however.

When I was eighteen, I remember being particularly frustrated that Colin was going to be my Alpha. I guess the doting love he got scraped against me. That frustration amplified when he asked me to be his Beta a year later. The hurt etched on his face when I refused is still painted on my brain. I had gone to the bar that night and drank myself into a stupor. I