Everything that happened felt like a distant dream. As I look back at those I can't help but feel the pain again. Ang akala kong buhay na kinalimutan ko na, muling nagbalik sa ala-ala ko. How I endured the pain of the first heartbreak, how I got through and surpassed death, and how I gave up my dream. Out of all what happened, ang huli ang pinakamasakit.
Muli kong sinubukang gumuhit ng sketches pagkatapos ng aksidente. Pero tuwing ginagawa ko iyon, naninigas ang kamay ko at wala akong maiguhit. At muling magbabalik sa ala-ala ko ang bangungot ng aksidente. Kaya naman hindi ko na ulit sinubukan, sa takot na sundan na naman ng bangungot at sakit.
My first few months abroad were not easy. Unti-unti lang naging madali nang madalas kong makasama si Denver. At tuluyan lang akong nakabangon nang sumunod si Aurora para roon din mag-aral. Her decision was abrupt.
Alam ko kung gaano kahalaga sa kanya ang Baler at ang makasama ang pamilya. Kaya naman nakapagt
I froze from where I was while staring directly at him. Hindi ko na nga halos marinig ang mararahang saway ni Aling Selya sa asawa tungkol sa kung ano. Parang nag slow motion ang lahat at ni isa sa aming dalawa ay hindi gumagalaw.His eyes went down to my body. Natigil iyon sa braso ko kung saan mayroon pang benda. Tumagilid ako, hindi komportable sa mga titig niya. Hindi pa tuluyang mag sink in sa akin kung paanong siya ang nandito imbes na ang maid na ipinadala ni Papa."Miss Eirene, siya ang ipinadala ng Senyor para maging personal body guard niyo," si Mang Tony habang nakangiti akong tiningnan. "Ano ngang pangalan mo uli, hijo?" Baling niya kay Rylle.Personal bodyguard? I thought Papa is sending one of the maids? Paanong siya ang narito? Alam ba ni Papa ito? Paano'ng..."Rylle."His baritone sends shivers to my insides. Hindi ako nakapagsalita bilang protesta. Marami akong gustong itanong sa kanya. But not here. Not when Ma
I felt nervous with what he said. His words were marked with finality. Na kailanman hindi ako makakatakas mula sa kanya. It seems like he's cursing me. That wherever I go to escape, my end destination will always be him."You don't understand," iling ko."Then make me understand. It's so hard to guess what you're thinking everytime, Ei. Tell me what you really feel, baby. I will try to understand... except us being apart."My eyes watered as I watch him in pain. Parang tinutusok ang puso ko sa nakikita sa mga mata niya."I don't want you involved in my problems anymore. Dahil hindi natin alam kung ano'ng pwedeng mangyari sa susunod. You could be their next target kasi palagi tayong magkasama. Paano kung gawin nila iyon, huh? I won't be able to take it if other people get hurt because of me. Naiintindihan mo ba?"I said as I stood up, trying to prove a point. He went near me at hinawakan ang braso ko."So you're worried about me
Tahimik kaming dalawa nang nag-agahan. I could feel his glances at me habang ako naman ay hindi maiangat ang tingin sa kanya.I suddenly feel awkward after our conversation. And I am also bothered as to how I soften when it comes to him.For the past years I vowed to myself that I won't let him fool me again. Na kahit pa magkita kami ulit, hindi ko na hahayaan ang sarili kong mapalapit sa kanya.For me he's the biggest trap, the most dangerous cliff I have to avoid, and the lovely flame that would burn me intensely.I presented to wash the dishes after we ate. Hindi ko alam kung saan siya nagpunta pagkatapos. Ngunit narinig ko ang pagbukas at pagsarado ng main door kaya baka lumabas at nagpahangin.His stay here still bothers me. Paano ang kompanyang pinatatakbo niya gayong nandito siya?I planned on strolling on the shore later. Kapag hindi na masyadong mainit ang sikat ng araw. Wala rin naman akong ibang pwedeng gawin dito sa
Warning: SPG"How did you get in here?" I fired angrily.By instinct, I held the lace of my robe. Sinundan niya ng tingin ang mga kamay kong nakahawak roon. I gulped when his stare darkened."I was calling you for dinner. And you did not lock your door so..." Aniya na agad ibinalik ang tingin sa mukha ko."Kahit na. You could've just wait outside. Or better yet, nauna ka nalang sanang kumain. I'm not hungry," I said as I walk towards the walk-in closet."Why are you acting like this?"I was about to open my closet when he asked. Natigil ako sa akmang pagbukas niyon.I don't know how to answer that. Bakit nga ba ako nagkakanganito? It all just started when I saw how the ladies in that market went crazy over him. As if I could stop them from admiring a handsome man like him.At ano'ng karapatan ko? Wala.Wala ako ni katiting na karapatan para magdemand ng buong atensyon niya. Kasi hindi naman kami.
The moment I gave myself to him, kasama ko na ring ibinibigay ang pagmamahal ko. Though I didn't really stopped loving him, I decided to love him freely. Iyong wala nang galit at hinanakit.I didn't know it would be this freeing. To let myself go and forgive the people who hurt me the most.I woke up that morning because of his little kisses on my face. I was still half asleep when I saw his face first thing in the morning."Good morning, baby."He whispered and claimed my lips for a passionate kiss. He held my stomach as his mouth graze it's way inside mine, sucking my tongue lightly. I moaned when his hand went up to my underboob."Rylle..."I moaned painfully as pleasure consumed me with the way he kissed my lips to my neck."I know you're still sore," he breathe against my ear and bit it lightly.I felt the undeniable pain down there when I tried to move. Marahan ko siyang itinulak at tinampal sa braso. He chu
My days went painfully slow. Mula nang malaman ko ang balita tungkol sa sindikatong sinasabi ni Papa ay hindi na ako matahimik. If a syndicate is indeed involved, then this is something really serious.Kung anuman ang dahilan ng mga taong nasa likod nito, hindi iyon simple lang. For them to get the syndicate involved in hurting me, this is something beyond simple and petty.I grew anxious as the days passed. I'm torn between wanting to go home to personally receive updates of the investigation o manatili nalang dito para sa sariling kaligtasan."I hate seeing you like this," marahang bulong ni Rylle habang nakayakap sa akin mula sa likuran.We had been sleeping in the same room mula nang magkaayos kami. Aniya'y nag-aalala rin siya sa akin kaya niya ako sinasamahan.I would constantly stare at the nothingness and get lost with my thoughts. Since my father broke that news to me, I have been restless and so out of it. His hug tightened.
I was in all confusion when I heard what my father said. Para akong nabingi at tila ba ibang lenggwahe ang kanyang sinabi na hindi ko iyon naintindihan. Rylle's hold tightened and I felt his anger and protective stance with the way he held me tighter. He cursed matapos sabihin ni Papa iyon."Is Rylle there, honey? Can I talk to him?"Walang lakas kong ibinigay ang cellphone kay Rylle. Pilit pa ring iniisip ang kanyang sinabi. Hindi ako makapaniwala. Hindi ako naniniwala.I've known Simon for being a notorious playboy but never this. At ano naman ang maaaring dahilan niya para gawin ang lahat ng iyon?I never knew him personally, at least back when I was still in the US. Nitong mga nakaraang buwan lang kami nagkita at nagkakilala. Bilang pa sa daliri ang mga pagkikitang iyon.As far as my memory can recall, I've never done anything bad to him. Was it because I rejected him? I don't think so. At ramdam ko rin naman na hindi
Natigil din sa paglalakad si Rylle nang tumigil ako. Iilang metro nalang ang layo namin mula sa bangka.I looked back to see what's happening. Hawak ng mga tauhan ni Simon si Mang Tony pati na rin si Aling Selya at Addie."No, no, no." Gimbal kong sabi nang lumakas ang mga hagulgol ni Aling Selya habang nagmamakaawa na pakawalan sila."Ano?! Sasabihin niyo ba kung nasaan sila o hindi?!""Maawa kayo! Hindi namin alam ang sinasabi ninyo!"I couldn't take it any longer! I can't bear seeing innocent people getting hurt because of me!Marahas kong binawi ang mga kamay mula kay Rylle at nagmadaling maglakad pabalik sa beach house."Ei!" Gimbal na sigaw ni Rylle sa biglaan kong ginawa.He cursed loudly at mabilis akong naabutan. Hinablot niya ang kamay ko at mahigpit akong niyakap."What the hell are you doing?!" Malakas niyang bulong nang maabutan ako.Ang takot at labis na pag-aalala ay nakapaskil s