Share
June 14
Today didn't go as I had planned. I wanted to go out in the rain and play but I did not because I had a lot going through my mind. I thought of the young man that stood in front of everyone and shared his pain in the support group. I could feel his pain as much as he could understand my pain.
Today, I sat alone in Mrs. Uju's sitting room, thinking about Delaney, wondering if she was still in Nigeria or if she had left the country. I thought of sending her a letter but I didn't, I couldn't. I just told myself that I had no other choice rather than to accept she was gone forever.
Related chapters
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger June 15
I fell sick today. My eyes were pallid and I was unable to breathe properly. I tried to stand up, I couldn't. The voices inside my head kept on screaming loudly as if they wanted to tear me apart.The room was plain white, and it took more than a few minutes for my eyes to adjust to the bright lighting. I felt almost over taken by the weakness of my body, the failures of its nature to combat diseases.Struggling to regain my strength, I tried to get up from the hospital bed and would have stopped if it weren't for Mrs. Uju who kept on encouraging me to keep on fighting, who seemed to be having nearly the same level of pain and discomfort I was experiencing. I kept on making attempts to get up from the bed, my hand placed on the soft white bedsheet that covered its nakedness. I failed."I can't! Why can't my body get over this?" I complained.I blinked, accepting my condition with a slight moan. I didn't know how I found myself in an ill state. All
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger June 16
June 16I woke up early the next morning to find myself alone in the hospital bed. Mrs. Uju was already up and pacing by the window with her thumb between her teeth as if she was thinking about something. I watched her, admiring the patience on her face and the lines that stood out on her ebony skin, which looked as if it had grown fairer in the past few days."You are still sick," Mrs. Uju informed me."No, I am not," I turned to her and urged her to touch my skin for signs of heat. She declined."Did you pray to God as your slept on your sick bed today?""I told you I don't believe in God. Why are you saying something that has to do with him?""Nothing, Perer." She turned to me and sat down on the bed. "We made a bet concerning your health. I told you that I was confident you wouldn't last a day, you said otherwise. I will give you time to think about your loss."After she left, I
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger June 17
Dear Henry,I am not quite sure how to begin this letter. I would have loved to start with the seas and then move to the dry land and it would have been nice to tell you all about them but I can't because I am in a depressing state I am still trying to figure out. Two days ago, I had a bet with my aunt's friend. She said I wouldn't get well before the end of yesterday. I told her I would win. She said I wouldn't. There are days when I would have let such bets go without hesitating but I didn't. We had the bet and I lost. I am in a critical condition now. I have been in the hospital bed for two days now and the doctor is saying I will spend more days here. From a distance, I can see the Red Sea, cloaked in a fog so that I am unable to see the other end. I wish I could see the other end but the more I try to look for the other end, the less I see what is going on there.Since today, I haven't smile much because I am too
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger June 19
I was discharged from the hospital today. The sound of Mrs. Uju's voice made my heart jump for joy as she led me slowly to her car."You will be fine, Perer. I wish you could have lasted up to a week," she said, "so you will learn to appreciate God for everything he has done in your life and in the life of your family."I raised my eyebrows, wondering if she was trying to be polite with the words she said or if she was trying to persuade me to follow her religion, her way of life that I could spend a day of my existence condemning."Besides," she added, "it will do you good to know that my daughter came here with me.""The one that doesn't talk to me in your house?" I asked, rather skeptical."If she blinks way too much then that is my daughter."I smiled, reasoning how many times I have seen Mrs. Uju's daughter in her house, always silent, always thinking about something only her could understand. Her condition suited her well. The whole blinking disorder was suited for someone of her
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger June 20
The boy who was wearing a black cap with an adidas logo knew he was not supposed to keep quiet when he saw a man with a gun running inside a compound close to Mrs. Uju’s house but he did. I didn’t know what to do. My heart was beating as fast as I could remember. Even my pulse was rising. Mrs. Uju was not yet back home. According to her daughter, she was in her friend’s house, discussing about the politician who was granted bail despite his crimes, despite all the amount of money he had looted from Nigeria. I stood outside Mrs. Uju’s house as I watched the man who recently entered her neighbor’s compound come out. He was looking tensed. His eyes resembled a deep black hole sucked in its own void. He looked from left to right. He left before I could raise an alarm.*It was afternoon when Mrs. Uju arrived with her friend. The people who lived across the street a
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger June 21
After church service was over, I stood outside the church entrance, waiting while Mrs. Uju greeted the people crowded around her like chickens searching for grains to eat.“Good afternoon, glory be to God who has blessed us with good health and long life,” she said, before shaking hands with the ministers, acknowledging the wonderful voices of the choirs, and congratulating a newlywedded couple. Some of the ministers whispered to her concerning her efforts in the church projects, Mrs. Uju didn’t whisper back. She didn’t see the need to exchange words with them when she considered service to the people of God as service to God himself.“Good afternoon, sir! This is the child I was telling you about,” Mrs. Uju said.The senior pastor of her church looked up, observed me quickly with a smirk on his face. His complexion was very light, like albino, and the hairs that covered his chest and chin were even worse. He hit his small bla
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger June 23
Sometimes all I can do is sit and wonder at what happens in life. I can't weep because my eyes have lost its well of water. I have cried and can't again. Everyone will always say there is hope and I strongly believe in that. I strongly believe everyone will always say there is hope and not hope itself. Sometimes, I wonder if I should just kick myself and tell them there isn't but I can’t do that because I have to always keep my mouth shut.The very day Clag died, no one knew what I did but I did it and I'm not afraid to say what I did. The very day Danny died, I drew a map on my hand to comprehend if there is a road leading from life to death or if there isn’t. I have been sitting for all these while now but now, I am looking at things in a different direction. I can't breathe but yet I live. What is the use of life? Why was I born? Why was I given emotions? Why was I told I have a great future? Why was I t
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger June 25
After the incident that occurred in Mrs. Uju's neighbor's house on Saturday, after the incident that occurred in Mrs. Uju's church, I want you to know that I felt bad for three days. I want you to know that I felt pain but not clueless ones. I want you to know that I felt the true meaning of a friend in need.I wanted to express the pain I felt for her neighbor through tears but Mrs. Uju warned me not to waste my time pissing her off. I wanted to express my refusal on the decision she made with the senior pastor but Mrs. Uju reminded me of her ownership in the place we lived together.Today, I asked myself about my identity. I asked myself who I am. Am I the loner who lost himself trying to search for someone else? Am I the loner who lost his past while seeking for a lost cause? Yes! Lost cause! The senior pastor of Mrs. Uju's church told her I was a lost cause, a demon infested human being with a craving to go against the will of God. What is God? A system? Who is God
Latest chapter
- Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger About the Author
- Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger August 31
- Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger August 26
- Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger August 23
- Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger August 20
- Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger August 13
- Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger August 9
- Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger August 1
- Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger July 31
