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June 6
"God loves you, Perer," Aunty Matilda visited today with plenty words of encouragement for me.
"I am not sure about that," I said. "If he loves me as you have claimed, he wouldn't have let my little brother die."
"Death is a mystery," Aunty Matilda continued, brushing her fingernails with her other hand."We cannot explain how it happens, it just happens."
"Of course. We all know God's reputation, Aunty Matilda," I smiled. "Always making sure that everything happens perfectly for humans."
"Well," Aunty Matilda shrugged nonchalantly so as not to appear flattered by my evaluation. "He knows what he is doing compared to all those who doubt his words."
"I don't need God in my life," I clarified Aunty Matilda's thoughts about her efforts. "I don't need someone who only shows up after the main event. If God truly exists, he should have done something in my life a long time ago. He should have made me und
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Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger June 7
I spent the whole of today thinking about the summer rain and the deep blue sky. I wondered if the clouds were still watching over me or if they had lost faith in me. Due to some reasons, Aunty Matilda said we could not go to Lagos until she was sure that everything was placed in its appropriate position in Lagos. She basically postponed our trip to the next day.I thought of Henry today and how long it would take for him to send me a new message. I also thought of Delaney who I was slowly losing interest in. I wanted to know if she was holding up and not spinning around a corner stone. Maybe she was spinning around! Maybe she wasn't! How would I know?
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger June 8
Today, I realized that I have been falling off the cliff only to discover I was still alive when I hit the ground. If only I could learn to not think too much. If only I could learn to live with death.Between the man with an Arsenal jersey, using every gallop pass to mistakenly slap a man's clean-shaven head, and the fair lady with an Irish lipstick, using every moment to flash her selling point, I sat on a bus headed to Lagos, wondering if the sole of Aunty Matilda's shoe is the reason why she feel a certain discomfort.
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger June 9
The trip to Lagos was awesome! Aunty Matilda made sure I didn't miss out in any of the activities she considered as an adventure. Although we planned to use a bus from Enugu to Lagos, we had a change of plans when Aunty Matilda told me that we had to stop at a park because her friend had sent a driver to ensure that we come to Lagos without experiencing any difficulty. Because of the change of plans, a trip that was supposed to last for one day, turned to two days. It felt great to be spending some time with a woman who had devoted her life to the work of God. After some hours of non-stop driving, Aunty Matilda told the driver to stop us at a restaurant so we could get something to eat.The driver pulled the car to the curb and killed the engine. Aunty Matilda opened the door and told me to step out. I obeyed and got out through the other door that was close to me. The driver was still sitting in the driver's seat when Aunty Matilda was done adjusting her skirt. There wa
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger June 10
I was silent and did not speak again until Aunty Matilda's friend looked at me. I closed my eyes."Perer, your aunty said that you are a good boy. And if you remain a good boy, I will be a good friend to you. And any time you see me or my husband passing close to you, don't forget to greet. When a boy doesn't live up to expectations, he must be scolded. Your aunty believes in you as much as I believe in you but you must prove yourself if you want me to trust you. The job in getting people to have faith in you is making them believe in what life has turned you into, making them believe that even if people may say terrible stuffs about you, you can prove all of them wrong. Do you understand all I am saying?""Yes, ma!" I said."Good," Mrs. Udo smiled. "I have been given the responsibility to take care of you and if I must do it successfully then I must teach you some important things about life.""I understand what you have to do. If I must live in your house t
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger June 11
Perhaps I was feeling different today as I got up from bed. Perhaps I was feeling both weightless and full to the brim at the same time, and I needed someone to talk to about it. I can't describe how I was feeling this morning especially after hearing all Mrs. Udo had to say about her son yesterday."I have known many people in my life who have dreamt of becoming famous with a rock band. I know some rock bands that has not made its members rich, but at least when they travel to Moscow, Reykjavik and the USA, they get paid for playing. My son wanted to be a rock star. He loved the guitar and he used to play it for me whenever he came back home," Mrs. Udo said to me this morning."That is great to hear, ma," I replied, not smiling."He wanted to live the life that so many men and women would dream of, as a rock star. I used to tell him that the life of a rock star might not make him happy. I told him he may be led to try drinking and drugs.""Did he live
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger June 13
I was not afraid as I stood in Mrs. Uju presence to tell her about my strange dream, but my lips were trembling and my chest was heaving. I wanted to go back to the dream so I could understand more about the dream and why I was being chased by a street gang that I had nothing to do with. But I knew I couldn't do that. I knew it was safe for me to be in the real world, standing in front of Aunty Matilda's friend and telling her about my experience than running away from a group of people with desires to hurt me."I am running late for work," Mrs. Uju said impatiently. "Do you still want to tell me about your dream?"I nodded."What is stopping you from telling me?""Fear! Terror! I don't know exactly what is stopping me from telling you. Give me some time," I said.I watched as Mrs. Uju relaxed her bones as she waited for me to spill out what had made me to scream by five o'clock. I began my dream by telling her how I found myself in the midst
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger June 14
Today didn't go as I had planned. I wanted to go out in the rain and play but I did not because I had a lot going through my mind. I thought of the young man that stood in front of everyone and shared his pain in the support group. I could feel his pain as much as he could understand my pain.Today, I sat alone in Mrs. Uju's sitting room, thinking about Delaney, wondering if she was still in Nigeria or if she had left the country. I thought of sending her a letter but I didn't, I couldn't. I just told myself that I had no other choice rather than to accept she was gone forever.
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger June 15
I fell sick today. My eyes were pallid and I was unable to breathe properly. I tried to stand up, I couldn't. The voices inside my head kept on screaming loudly as if they wanted to tear me apart.The room was plain white, and it took more than a few minutes for my eyes to adjust to the bright lighting. I felt almost over taken by the weakness of my body, the failures of its nature to combat diseases.Struggling to regain my strength, I tried to get up from the hospital bed and would have stopped if it weren't for Mrs. Uju who kept on encouraging me to keep on fighting, who seemed to be having nearly the same level of pain and discomfort I was experiencing. I kept on making attempts to get up from the bed, my hand placed on the soft white bedsheet that covered its nakedness. I failed."I can't! Why can't my body get over this?" I complained.I blinked, accepting my condition with a slight moan. I didn't know how I found myself in an ill state. All
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