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May 22
It took only a few days of mourning and thinking for the table in my room to become my favourite place to read. I rocked my head from left to right and then from right to left as I thought of my last WAEC exam paper. Geography was not really my best subject in school but I loved to learn about new places, countries and even about busy markets around the world. After a while, I got up to tear a sheet of paper from a new exercise book. Written at the back of the exercise book were the Nigerian National Pledge and a small mathematical table consisting of multiplications that ran from two to twelve. "Try again," I would say to Danny when he had mistakenly forgot to multiply in the right order. He would always frown then take a quick look at a similar exercise book with multiplication tables before trying again. Christle would sometimes join us for a minute or two, but she would tell us that she wasn't really good at math, and she would promise to try her best. We knew she wouldn't
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Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger May 23
My last exam paper was amazing. Yes! I am talking about my Geography paper. It was incredibly amazing. Though it was not the way that I imagined it to be but it was still amazing."We are finally done with secondary school," Goodness said as he took a pen and wrote something on my school uniform. "If you had not come to my house yesterday evening to seek my help on map reading, I doubt you would have been able to answer all those questions. They were really hard but incredible. Yes! Incredible is the right word. Those questions were incredible!""Why didn't you go for awesome instead of incredible?" I asked."Because I like incredible over awesome.""Does it have a special tag attached to it that I don't know about?""Come on man, it doesn't. I use awesome when the event that occurred is unpredictable. I use incredible when the event is both predictable and planned.""Incredible!" I yelled. "So, we are finally not going to be see
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger May 24
I don’t know how to describe the beginning of something. Maybe you could be able to describe the beginning of something without missing out in a lot of details. My inability to describe the beginning of something doesn’t mean that I can’t be helpful in a lot of areas. It is a known fact only to me that I could discern little or nothing while wearing a skimpy cloth that doesn’t fit properly to my body. I could lay down on a hard-narrow concrete road with snares of psychosis tangling me and still mot feel the effect of it until I wake up from my deep slumber. It is kind of funny that my imaginations don’t matches with a lot of people’s perspectives about imaginations but can I blame myself for being me? Can I blame myself for wanting to have my own unique personality instead of wearing someone’s own like an untouchable cloak?Sometimes I think about the dark and it scares me to know that I am not the
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger May 25
It was still noon and the dusty wind blew dead leaves that hugged my face. I am not talking about random hugs but real hugs. Hugs that touches the heart and reaches the darkest part of the soul. Do you understand how that feels?Today, I sat at a lonely corner with my palm below my chin. I was still thinking about Uncle Max relationship as I sat down. I was still thinking about Uncle Max relationship even when I bought some biscuits and ate it slowly. Today, I watched as men and women hastily walked with hasty feet and for a moment I stopped and stood like an iroko tree. I stood and watched men talk about a soccer game that ended with their favorite team losing. I stood and watched women talk about a man in the market who refused to give his daughter food although she was complaining bitterly that she was hungry.Today wasn't just like any other day. It drove me back to the days when all I had to think about was how to wake up and walk to school. The feelings of
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger May 26
I was facing him, then he sank to my knees and told me to stand up."Jesus Christ," I moaned. "What are you doing here? I thought you were dead. I should have known this would happen." I clenched my hands in front of him as I watched him wave his hands with his eyes closed."I am not dead," Danny said. "I went for a walk towards the other side and I have seen great things. I thought you would like to join me. All my life, I have always felt sick. And if I didn't feel sick, I always felt all alone. Now I have been to the other side of the world, I am glad to say that I have found a way to express myself.""What are you talking about, Danny?""Did you ever care about me, Perer? You just left for Enugu without informing me of your departure. Why did you go away without taking me with you?""Danny," I inhaled slowl
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger May 27
Outside the window, I saw the moon giving up its light as I watched the first shade of dawn fall. All night long it had been horrific; but now everything was starting to get back to normal. I could hear Uncle Max's voice from my room. He was phoning someone and telling the person that he wouldn't come to work today because of some issues he had to settle. Some issues involving, I and Miss Bisi. Honestly, apart from the dispute he had with Miss Bisi some days ago, I don't see any other issue that could be settled if not that.I stiffened as I heard the door creak."Who is that?" I asked.There was no reply."Who is that?" I asked again.Still, there was no reply.Impatiently, I ignored the sound of the door and focused on the dream I had yesterday about Danny. It was a terrible dream that left a lot of trails. The dream was not the only thing that surprised me because a part of me felt it was coming especially after the series of dreams
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger May 28
"I can notice from my own personal observations that you don't like how you look. Well, you look a little bit sad," the woman said with a certain tone of confidence that made me to be sure that she knew what she was doing."Elaborate," I said. "I don't smile often. Does smiling has anything to do with the way I see myself?""It does to some extent but it doesn't entirely define the subject. Do you love your mother?""I don't know how to answer that.""Do you love your father?""I also don't know how to
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger May 29
"Most people who don't know anything about me are usually so eager to rush into conclusions. They say I am abnormal because I don't talk much but sit in a dark corner and stare with a strange silence which is totally untrue. I know my silence is not my poor skills in social communication rather a dark mystery I am yet to understand. I have been dead a long time ago before Christmas bells filled my heart with joy. I have been dead a long time ago before I even learnt how to walk or run. I have been dead before the first new moon ushered the December rains and spluttered muddy water into the new yam tendrils that were slowly springing to life. I can't remember my turning point vividly, the day I died I mean; I have lived that day my whole entire life. Sometimes I imagine myself swimming in a deep blue sea, challenging the sharks into a desperate speedy test knowing fully well that I will lose, knowing fully well tha
Perer Ford: Diary of a Stranger May 30
"When you begin to love yourself only then will you be able to love others," the woman said."I understand," I said."You are aware that today is the last day of this meeting. It is a three days program and so far, we have completed two days successfully without any complications.""I understand," I said again."Do you still want us to talk about your parents?""No!""Are you going to change your mind anytime soon?"
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