chapter 2

LIA

Tendrils of agony twists my gut, and my vision blurs with tears but I force myself to remain quiet and listen to them. My husband and Pen.

"How could she not see it?" Pen's voice drips with annoyance, laced with a hint of irritation. “I practically shoved it into her face that there is something between us, yet she isn’t one bit suspicious.”

My heart breaks, scattering like marbles on the cold floor, and sending a wave of visceral pain crashing through me.

They're talking about me. No. They are berating me.

“She is foolish. It is one of her charms.” This time, it is the husband that I love so much that chuckles, his voice devoid of warmth. The words scrapes against my soul, coming from the man I love and thinks loves me the same if not more. He just reduced me to a ‘foolish woman' in front of his secretary whom I considered to be a friend.

A sob threatens to rip from my throat, but I clamp my palm over my mouth, muffling the sound. I dig my teeth into my palm as silent whimpers wrecks through me.

"Definitely." Pen purrs. "I doubt she has any other charms, though." A rustle precedes her words. "You won't believe what she told me when I showed her my necklace, the one you gave me." I knew, with sickening certainty, what was coming. "It looks similar to the one Carl got me for our anniversary," she mimics my voice, each words wrapped with a note of mockery. 'Looks like my husband and your boyfriend has similar taste."

Shame washes over me like a tidal wave. How could I have been so blind? Now, looking back, A lot of scenarios happened that should have blown my radars off but I have been such a stupid, trusting, loving wife to notice. Besides, I consider Pen my friend. And I love Karl.

Their mocking laughter echoes around me. It claws at my skin, digging deeper as their laughter continues. How can the people I trusted the most betray me like this? All the while, I thought I have found my home only to discover it was built on lies. While, I thought I have found my people, they laughed behind me, making me into their twisted entertainment.

While I was lost in the consuming love I have for Karl, he saw me through a distorted lens, a mere object of amusement, a "gullible fool."

A strangled sob escapes the confines of my hand.

My marriage was an illusion painted by Karl, yet I was oblivious to it.

Tears, hot and heavy, trace burning paths down my cheeks, soaking the back of my hand. I'm furious, angry at myself, angry at Karl, angry at pen. I want to implode in their faces. But like a fool, I remain rooted in the corner, hiding my pathetic self.

"Why did you even bother marrying someone like her?" Pen's voice drips with disdain. "She's not your type. She is chubby, ugly..." The words pierce me like poisoned arrows.

My sobs increases in tempo around my clamped hand.

Chubby. Ugly.

Two labels people have called me all my life and I have somehow believed it too. Until I met Karl, who I believed loved me despite my flaws. Or so I think.

Karl scoffs and I gag at the fact that this is a man that I have grown to love, the man that I have spent five years of my life with. “What do you think? She is convenient for me, low maintenance and easy to satisfy. She swallows my insults like they're compliments. She asks for nothing, expecting only the crumbs of my affection. Like a lost puppy, she is clingy and pathetic."

A thousand tiny razors tear at my chest. His disdainful voice is like acid on my skin. So this is what I meant to my beloved husband?

Karl snarls. “I married her because I needed a wife. my father wouldn't hand over the company if I wasn't married. My mom can't stand the sight of her too. She turns my stomach. When I touch her, it's your face I see, babe."

“Aww…Karl.” Pen purrs. “How do you manage to sleep besides her."

"Easy enough. I simply avoid looking at her. Or when I can't, well, I pretend as if I'm seeing you."

The dam within me burst. Tears flows down my cheeks, trailing a hot path down my red cheeks. How could he say that about me? After all these years, and all the dreams and memories we shared. He hates every day he spends with me. The realization hits me like a physical blow. He doesn't love me. He never did.

As sound of smooching fills the air, a nausea rises in my stomach. I pinch myself, slap my cheeks. Anything to wake up from this nightmare.

This can’t be happening to me. The husband I love so much doesn’t consider me convenient. He doesn’t consider me chubby and ugly. He loves me not because he wanted to inherit his company. What we share is perfect and it makes everyone envious.

No.

No.

This isn't happening. This can't be happening. I have to wake up. Wake up from this cruel, twisted reality, I land another slap on my cheeks and it stings so bad.

The sickening sound of their kiss fills the air, twisting my insides. "She's so vanilla, it makes me sick," he mutters, the disgust towards clear.

Angst and despair tears through my very being. I hoped escaping my past will lead me to genuine relationships, and to people who value me for who I am, not just as someone to use. Karl seems to be that person… at least, I convince myself he is.

A sudden loud sound jolts me from my despair.