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Prologue

"Your sun will set in ten seconds. Simulan mo na ang pangungumpisal, baka sakaling palusutin ka pa ni San Pedro sa langit."

I snorted at his childish threat. Siya ba'y nagpapatawa?

Given the writhing pain numbing my entire body, I still managed to let out a shrill laugh before dealing with this brainless bird. Lalo kong nilakasan ang aking halakhak nang makitang halos mapatid na ang kanyang litid sa labis na pagkayamot.

He ruthlessly clutched my now messed-up crimson hair while aiming a gun on my left temple area. "Gusto mo talagang mapabilis lalo ang buhay mo!" Ikinasa nito ang kanyang baril at muling itinutok sa aking sentido.

He's trying to scare me, but honestly speaking, I felt nothing even though I was at gunpoint. Masyado na akong sanay sa ganitong senaryo; larong pambata lang kumbaga.

"Benji, hindi ikaw ang magbabaon ng bala sa sungay n'yan. Mananagot ka kay boss! Mag-isip ka ngang bobo ka," maagap na bulyaw nang isa pang bobo.

Mahina itong nagmura bago itinutok sa itaas ang kanyang baril at walang-sabing kinalabit ang gatilyo. Mukhang hindi pa siya tapos sa nakababagot niyang palabas dahil muli itong umupo paharap sa akin.

This could’ve been a perfect action film if not for their lousy acts. Nakakafrustrate kayang mahostage tapos mga walang utak hostage takers mo. I should give them a seminar kapag nakalabas akong buhay rito. Afterwards, I’ll take their lives as payment. Sounds fair, right?

I clenched my teeth when Benji banana forcefully grabbed my nape and made our foreheads meet. Nah! This won’t work either. Kung gwapo siya, baka sakaling gumana.  

"I’m getting bored," sinigurado kong tatagos sa kanyang kaibuturan ang titig ko. I flashed a wicked smile which caused him to loosen his grip. Huh, weakling.

“Go to hell!” he yelled with eyes widely opened. Such a pathetic creature, I hissed mentally.

"I’ll take you to hell with me, ugly being," nanghihina ngunit mariin kong usal bago siya dinuraan sa mukha. A feisty angel will guide this ugly bastard in hell, he must unquestionably thank me.

Gulat na gulat maging ang ibang mga utak-dikyang nasa loob ng abandonadong gusaling ito. Shet, sayang ang laway ko.

"Tangina naman! " Nagitla ito at natatarantang lumayo at nagpunas ng mukha gamit ang itim nitong pang-itaas.

I lowered my head and breathed deep. Fuck it! I am gradually dissipating all the energy left within me. Pakiramdam ko'y tila ba isa akong kandilang nauupos; malapit nang mag-abot ang apoy at ang dulo ng mitsa.

"Tignan natin kung ganyan ka pa rin katibay kapag dumating na si boss!"

 “Daming tahol, takot namang mangagat,”asik ko.

Nanggigigil nitong sinakop ang distansya sa pagitan namin at sinipa ako sa kanang balikat. I was not even prepared for that. Talagang sa may saksak na braso pa niya ako pinuntirya. Tsk, coward! Walang bayag ang isang ito. Dumura akong muli, lasang dugo.

With no strength to fight back, I allowed myself to tumble. While lying on the cold cemented floor, I felt all the pulps of my body aching. Hindi ko napigilang hindi mapasigaw sa sakit na lumalamon sa buo kong katawan. They've tortured my body with knives and ropes for days that I am dead tired already.

Kung papatayin lang din nila ako, bakit ang dami pang arte? Kainis.

I wanted to strangle these delusional goons and fight back, but at this stage, all that's left for me to do is to deprive them of the satisfaction they seek from seeing my bloody state. Hindi ko hahayaang lumaki ang bayag nila mula sa kasiyahang dulot ng pagpapahirap sa akin.

I can't permit this to happen. I won't provide these losers that satisfaction. So, instead of yelling in pain, I laughed loudly—mocking them. I felt my body even trembling with what I just did, but I endured.

You can't save yourself, but you can still redeem your pride, Quinn.

May luha sa mata kong pinasadahan ng tingin ang mga kalalakihang abot-langit ang tuwang makita akong nalulunod sa kirot. Kung mabubuhay man ako, sisiguraduhin kong babalikan ko sila isa-isa.

"Benji, andiyan na si boss," humahangos na pumasok ang isang matangkad na lalaki na may hawak na Sig Sauer P320, isang 9mm hand gun. Oh God, I badly miss my guns.

Natatarantang lumabas sila Benji banana at naiwanan akong nakasalampak sa marumi at malamig na sahig. Ipinikit ko ang aking mga mata nang tuluyan na silang makalabas. I can smell and taste my own blood, sa ganitong estado, talagang mauubusan ako ng dugo. I groaned with the agonizing discomfort enveloping my entirety.

After a few moments of dead air, I heard the harsh screeching sound of tires rampaging outside. I automatically opened my eyes as I tried making my breathing pattern steady; I just kept running out of air.

He came, and he's coming for me. Finally, things will get entertaining from here. I patiently endured everything in order to see his face.

"Where is she?" I breathed heavily as I instantly felt my heart pounding faster. Ang tinig na iyon, walang pinagbago.

I heard his footsteps heavily approaching my direction. Sa bawat hakbang niya papalapit, siya namang pag-atras ng katapangang aking pilit pinanghahawakan. How can bravery possibly foster when death is making its way towards me?

Death devours two faces, one that constantly embraces us while we live, and the other one that only visits once—permanently concluding the lifeline of our lifetime.

I have always wondered how actual death possibly feels. Will death make numbness become the rebirth of pain? Is there even an afterlife, or is death just death itself?

Ayokong tingalain siya kapag magkaharap na kami kaya nanginginig kong itinayo ang aking sarili sa tulong na rin ng pagsandal sa malaking lamesang-kahoy na nasa aking tagiliran.

I felt relieved nang sa wakas ay maitindig ko ang aking lupaypay na katawan. I know I am at my edge, but being at the peak makes you spread your hidden wings.

After a few seconds, I stared at the man dangerously walking in my direction.

His black hoody and jeans paired with his jet-black hair and perfectly chiseled features made him even more dangerously-looking. He looks just like a grim reaper except that instead of a scythe, he carries a gun. Anyone would tremble at his sight, but not me.

"Death," I whispered while looking at him from afar.

Will it arrive impeccably dressed, quietly presenting itself, before slowly consuming us, or will it come uninvited like the raging tides of emotions that sweep us off our feet?

Does death bury us six feet below to deepen the meaning of life, or does it only end our existence to outlive our skin-deep definition of living?

He's just a few meters away. Huminto ito sa paglakad at pinasadahan ng tingin ang aking kabuuan. I equally stared at him even though the blood dripping from my forehead caused everything to blur.

I have so many questions on my mind, so many thoughts and emotions—all for one person.

Lahat sila'y pigil-hiningang pinanunuod ang bawat kilos naming dalawa. Wala pa rin siyang pinagbago, nakaliligaw pa rin ang kalawakang nakakulong sa kanyang mga mata. Walang nangahas magsalita, tanging mga mata ang nangungusap

Consequently, death comes like this, I thought. With dark piercing stares that make the cold numbness rattle your bruised bones; inevitably inviting that raging tides of blissful memoirs to drown you—taking your breath away until it ruins you.

Totoo palang kapag nasa bingit ka na ng kamatayan, mananariwa lahat ng mga alaala. And those memories make us lose the courage to accept our unholy faith.

Without a word, he grabbed his semi-automatic pistol, Desert Eagle 50, then smiled at me. He's enjoying my bloodbath figure, I guess. I tried my best not to show any fear nor weakness, and I think I'm doing great.

He loaded the gun's barrel and pointed the end of the gun on my chest. His face remained calm. Seemingly, he wasn't indeed surprised by the absence of my reflexes. Hindi na ako tinatablan ng mga halik ng baril, alam niya ‘yon.

It took me all my energy to overcome the gap between us. Alam kong nagulat siya sa pagkulong ko sa kanya sa pagitan ng aking mga braso habang nakayakap sa kanyang leeg ang mga kamay kong nakaposas.

Sinigurado kong nanatiling nakakandado ang aming mga mata sa isa't isa. Siya, hawak ang baril sa tapat ng aking dibdib at ako, inuubos ang natitirang lakas sa pamamagitan ng mahigpit na pagkapit sa kanya; tanging ang baril niya ang naglalagay ng distansya sa aming dal'wa.

Nais kong kabisaduhin ang mukha niya, ang mukha ni kamatayan. With half-closed swollen eyes, I managed to venture every curve of his face—imagining his warm smile that I possibly won't be able to see again. Sige Quinn, paniwalain mo ang sarili mong siya pa rin ang lalaking minsang nagbigay lilim sa iyo.

"Are you done being brave, woman?" He moistened his lips and derisively let out a chuckle. What a handsome beast, I thought.

"I have always been brave, except with you, idiot." As soon as I mumbled those words, some tears made their way out of their dungeon. I'm barely holding on, but I must leave at peace.

Nag-iwas ito ng tingin na para bang kasumpa-sumpa ang mga binitiwan kong salita. The only favor he could do before planting my grave is this. He could have at least acted. What a jerk!

Romance never did belong to me. And, it is nevertheless not for us. I smiled bitterly at what I just conceived. What an ill-fated story, damn!

I remained silent for a while, recognizing something. There will never be an assurance that someone will come and save us. Kaya siguro may mga pagkakataong ganito, pinaniniwalaan ng ating utak ang makasariling pagnanais ng puso.

This man is not the man I loved; he may have his face, but he is a stranger.

I didn't even bother halting my tears. Nahihirapan na akong magsalita; pakiramdam ko'y pinagkakaitan ako ng hangin. Even breathing is painful.

Inalis ko ang pagkaka-angkla ng aking mga braso sa kanya. Mukhang nagulat ito dahilan upang ibaba niya ang kanyang brasong kanina lang ay handang kalabitin si kamatayan upang ako’y sunduin.

"What happened to romance?" I uttered to myself softly while thinking of our happy memories together.

"Romance is dead, Quinn. It should have never been born in the first place," he coldly stated while intently suffocating me with the weight of his stare.

I slowly nodded in defeat. It should have never been born yet it bloomed without plans of wilting. What a pity!

"It's time. Say my regards to all of my devil homie down there," he playfully whispered as I bore his gun on my chest once more, ready to release its bullets.

"Tanga," I blurted out, almost unheard. That made him crease his forehead, even tormenting me with his weaponry using greater force. I will miss how I annoy the hell out of him.

Before he loses all his temper, I continued, "All devils sheltered here on land. Wala na akong aabutang demonyo sa impyerno" with amusement, he laughed with my response.

"And some of them grew their wings thinking they could be angels here on land. Pero ang sungay, putulin man ng ilang ulit, tutubo lang muli. Farewell, little devil. Enjoy your solitude in hell.”

Then, gunshots followed.

I wanted to respond to him, but I felt like I’m about to run out of life. In my mind, I whispered my last words, “Without Him, I'll surely experience hell. Farewell, my forbidden heaven.”

So, death lingers like this...

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