"So, how are you doing really?" My soon mother-in-law asks looking at me closely. I smile a little and then my smile fades.
"I'm hanging in there," I say and then she looks away shaking her head. "Did she tell you what happened?" I ask my heart beating fast. How will I convince her I didn't cheat on her daughter when I can't convince Shalom. Why would she believe me?"She didn't tell me the details but I know the two of you are not talking or living together anymore." She says and I sigh. I don't know if I should be relieved or terrified. I can't tell her what happened I don't want her to know what didn't happen may have happened but it didn't. I don't know what to say anymore."I don't know how to... Apologize to her." I say and she sighs.
"Shalom is a difficult one." She smiles and then she looks into the distance. "She tends to hold on to hurt more than joy." She says and I agree. It sounds exactly like her. "So whatever hI walk into my kitchen slowly. Kane is at the stove stirring something in a pot. He turns to look at me hesitantly and I raise my brows at him in question. I can tell he's feeling a little unsure and he should. He's not supposed to be here. The plan was that he would spend the day with Rene, drop her off at my mother's, and then leave. I didn't expect to find him here. "I made us dinner.' He says when I place my bag on the island. I put my keys down and take a seat. I don't know what to say to him."I thought I would make you a little something since you've been cooking for me all these weeks." He says and I nod. "That's thoughtful of you. But I already ate." I say and I see his body deflate. "I guess I should have asked you before I did all this huh?" He says and I nod."I wanted it to be a surprise." He says and I nod. "I have dessert." He says smiling and I smile too. I love the boyish look on his face. "That sounds good," I say deciding to be nice to him. He doesn't deserve i
"What's wrong?" He asks sitting back."Nothing is wrong," I say and he listens silently. "I was thinking of returning to work,; like getting a full-time in-office job. But I..." I say and he nods."That's good." He says smiling and I shrug."I don't know if I can do it. But I might not have to." I say and he tilts his head to the side confused."What do you mean?" He asks finally. I take a breath to gather my thoughts. How do I say this without sounding whiny and ungrateful?"I have so many demands right now. Financially and time-wise." I start and he shifts in his chair a little. "I'm thinking a full-time job will be more stable and structured," I say and he sits thoughtfully for a few seconds."Do you think you'll make more with a full time job?" He asks the answer is immediately no. I shake my head and he nods."So, it's not so much the money but the stability and structure of full-time emp
“Not that my opinion counts but I think you should tell him.” Noni says looking at me closely. She stands up from my sofa placing her hands on her waist her face serious. She takes two steps backwards and then she takes three forward. She’s in her thinking mode; she’s looking for to tell me this without sounding judgmental. She’s thoughtful like that. “I don’t think so.” I say looking at her. She frowns at my words and she starts moving backwards again. “Shalom this is a baby we’re talking about here. What’s your plan? Are you going to hide the baby from him?” She asks coming to sit next to me. “I’m not hiding anything from him. He doesn’t even know I’m pregnant. How can I hide something that he doesn’t have prior knowledge of in the first place?” I say and I see the disappointment in her face. “That’s a whole lot of donkey shit and you know it.” She says and I look at her sad. “He deserves to know.” I don’t want to tell Kane. He and I have a complicated situation as is; adding a
“Welcome home.” My cousin Nathan says standing at his guest bedroom door. He looks at me for a long time, silent. He’s looking at me like I’m a stranger. I guess, I kind of am a stranger in a way. We haven’t seen each other in over six years. The last time we saw each other we were young; right at the cusp of becoming young adults. He’s looking at me like he’s trying to figure out who I am; I bet I have the same look on my face. “Thank you for this.” I say gesturing to the room. I walk to the bed and sit down, my body is tired from the flight but my mind is working over time. I’m having sensory overload with being back. My brain is trying to adjust to being back home. It feels like I’m having a culture shock. I know what South Africa is and it shouldn’t scare me but I’ve been away for so long that it feels like I have to relearn everything. My body feels off, I know it’s probably jet lag. “It’s nothing.” He says smiling at me. “I’ll be out of your hair soon,” I say and he shak
“What does your day look like today.” My mother asks walking into the kitchen. She sits at the kitchen table looking at me. I pour her a cup of coffee and walk to the table to give it to her. I sit down sipping on my own coffee. “I don’t have anything booked for today,” I say and she looks at me surprised. “Are you okay?” she asks concerned. I rarely have any off days so she automatically thinks that I must be sick or something “I’m okay. I just thought I should give myself a day off.” I say and she smiles at me. “Do you think you can stick to the day off?” She asks skeptical because she knows me very well. “I’m going to try,” I say truthfully. I work from home as a virtual assistant so it’s hard to take time off. I often struggle to find a balance between working from home and taking time out. I wake up and the work is right there. I just can’t switch off; the only thing that puts me off is when I’m too tired to get out of bed or if I’m sick. I know that neither of these reasons
2 years later “Hi.” I say when Jay opens the door. He smiles at me warmly. “”Hi, come in.” He says moving back to let me in. we hug and then he closes the door. “You look good.” I say walking behind him down the hallway. “I do? Thank you.” He says turning back to look at me. “I started going to the gym.” He says smiling at me. “I can tell.” I say smiling at him too. He really does look good. He lost a lot of weight. I can hear a lot of voices talking at the end of the hallway. I can tell he invited a lot of people. “I want to go back to my university body.” He says when walking into the dining room. I enter the room last and my eyes scan the people at the table. I recognize a few of them but I don’t know a lot of the others. “You were really buff then.” I say smiling at the many faces staring at me. “Hi everyone.” I say at the awkward silence in the room. They’re staring at me open mouthed and they’re making me feel self-conscious. I never know what to do when people stare at me
“I’m glad Jay convinced you to stay.” Kane says sitting on the sofa Jay just vacated. “He was pretty insistent I stay longer.” I say looking at him, feeling a bit weird. I’ve thought about this moment so many times. I’ve spent hours imagining what it would be like to meet him after all these years. But nothing could’ve prepared me for what I’m feeling right now. It feels like I’m the same girl that fell in love with him so many years ago. A decade ago to be exactly, I have the same feelings I would get when he was around. I feel so much excitement, joy, curiosity and intrigue. The only difference is there is a new feeling that plagues me; incompetence. He feels and looks different. He carries himself different; he has this air about him that makes me feel like I don’t belong. I’m struggling with that feeling because Kane is the only person I felt understood me. “I asked him to keep you here.” He says smiling guiltily. “So that’s why he bolted out of here when you walked in,” I say
When I open my front door, Jay is standing there with a big smile on his face. “What’s up?” I ask shaking his hand. “The sky and the sun and the clouds.” He says laughing at his own joke. “Come in.” I say moving to the side so he can walk through. I close the door behind him and turn to follow him down the hallway. “This place is coming along.” He says when we walk into the living room. “Yeah, it took a lot to get here.” I say looking proudly around my house. 7 years of school later I’m finally here. There was a time when I didn’t think I would get here. It has been a long and tedious ride. “I’m so proud of you man,” Jay says walking closer to me and giving me a brotherly hug. “Thank you, thank you,” I say hugging him back. “Speaking of I bought you this. A little housewarming gift.” He says handing me a bottle of Hibiki. “Wow, man,” I say looking at the bottle appreciatively. “You deserve it, man. This is incredible, you’re incredible.” He says a little emotional. “Thank y