01

"Anong sinabi mo?!" Pagod ako pero sampal agad ang ibinungad sa akin ni Mama.

"Gagawing teleserye ang istorya ko," walang emosyon kong ulit sa kaniya.

"At sinong gaganap?!" nanggagalaiti ring tanong ni Zahra sa akin, ang maarte at maldita kong kapatid, pangit naman.

"Si Maximus." Nginisian ko siya ngunit hindi rin nagtagal ay sampal lang ulit ang natanggap ko kay Mama.

"Alam mong in-offer ko sa kaniya ang manuscript ng story ko pero gano'n-gano'n mo lang siya nakuha?!" Aambahan niya na sana ako nang tumunog muli ang pinto, dumating na si papa. Ngunit dahil sanay na sa tanawing nakikita niya araw-araw ay tinignan niya lang kami at nilampasan.

"Alam mo kung gaano kasikat at kaganda ang istorya ko na kahit kanino ko i-offer 'yon ay tatanggapin. Kahit na sa hollywood actor ko pa i-offer ay tatanggapin iyon, Zahra. Kaya 'wag kang mag‐inarte riyan na para bang ang ganda ng istoryang ginawa mo... dahil hindi, Zahra. Malayo pa sa maganda. Kahit palaos na ay hindi tatanggapin 'yang cliché story mo," ang tono ko ay sarkastikong pinapayuhan siya.

"A-Anong sinabi mo?!" Sinabunutan niya ako pero s'yempre ay hindi ko muli siya pinatulan.

"UH!" Malakas kong isinalampak ang katawan sa kama dahil sa pagod matapos ako masabunutan.

Ini-alarm ko ang cellphone ko ng 6:30 dahil bukas na ang script reading ng Reverie.

Nakatulala lang ako sa kisame ng tatlong oras at makakatulog na sana ako nang tumunog ang cellphone ko. "Sino bang matinong tao ang tatawag sa akin ng 2:30 ng madaling araw?! Patulugin niyo naman ako!" Sigaw ko bago sinagot ang tawag kahit na number lang iyon.

"Hello, takot ka bang maging hotdog—"

"Punyeta!" sigaw ko sa kabilang linya at pinatay iyon.

Bwiset 'tong mga spam na 'to, dati sa text messages lang sila, ngayon ay tumatawag na rin? Gano'n na ba talaga sila ka-bore?

Muli ay hindi ako nakatulog dahil sa inis. Hindi ko rin namalayan na 6:30 na kung hindi lang tumunog ang alarm ko.

Tumayo na ako at pinatay ang alarm. Naligo ako at nagbihis na. White polo crop top at brown trousers ang isinuot ko ngayon. Nag-blow dry lang ako ng hair at nag-hair clamp. Naglagay ako ng sunblock at inihanda ang white shoes at bag ko para umalis na.

8:30 AM na nang umalis ako sa bahay. Alas nuebe ang script reading kaya nang dumating ako roon ay nandoon na ang lahat.

Anxiety attack. Lahat sila ay nakatingin sa 'kin. Late na ba ako? Galit ba sila sa akin dahil pinag-antay ko sila?

"Hello, Ms. Flammia!" Lahat ng nasa isip ko ay nawala nang salubungin ako ni Direk Pau. I smiled as he hugged me. Here comes the first man... maybe human suits the best... who loves me so much. He's very fond of me. He adores me so much.

"Hello, Direk." Nakipagbeso ako sa kaniya.

Nakipag-shake hands naman ako sa mga artistang naroon and call me names, wala akong pakialam, at oo na, napakasama ko dahil wala akong kilala sa kanilang lahat! Ni isa, wala! Na kahit isang mukha ay hindi pamilyar sa 'kin. Don't blame me, never akong nanood ng TV. Si Nora Aunor at Vilma Santos lang ang kilala ko.

Naupo ako sa harap, sa tabi ng dalawang direktor.

Ewan ko kung sinong artistang ito ang nakatingin sa akin pero nginitian ko na lang din siya.

Doon na nag-start ang script reading. First time ko 'to kaya kabado at hindi alam ang gagawin. Pinakilala niya ang kapwa direktor na si Ms. Selene at ako bilang manunulat ng Reverie. Pinakilala rin ni Direk ang mga aktor na gaganap sa teleserye.

"Maximus as Wren—"

"Ah! Siya... pala 'yon..." pahina nang pahina ang sinasabi ko dahil lahat sila ay nakatingin na sa akin.

"Is there a problem, Alessia?" Direct Paul asked with a smile. I immediately shook my head and bit my lower lip.

Gusto ko na lang magpakain sa lupa dahil nakakahiya ka, Alessia Swayze!

Pero tiningnan ko muli ang lalaki at nahuling nakatingin din siya sa akin kaya naman agad akong nag-iwas ng tingin dahil sa hiya. Siya 'yung nakatingin sa akin kanina. 

Maximus... ang pangalan niya.

Siya rin 'yung sinabi ko kay Direk na gusto kong gumanap bilang bida, bilang si Wren. Obviously, hindi ko ginawa 'yon dahil idol ko siya, hindi ko nga siya kilala, e. Gusto ko lang talagang asarin si Zahra. Bahala na kung immature ang reason ko, gusto ko lang talagang lalong galitin ang kapatid ko dahil wala naman akong pakialam kahit ipakulam niya pa 'ko.

"Maximus as Wren, the daydreamer," Director Paul repeated. "Beatrice as Amoris, the girl from the past... And Mina as Thalia, the girl from the future. Those are the main characters," every character introduced, we applaud. Marami pa ang ang mga aktor na naroon, mga supporting roles na ipinakilala rin ni Direk.

Then, we opened the final script. Na-review ko naman na ito dahil bago pa ma-finalize ang script ay s'yempre ipapa-consult muna sa main writer. Wala namang nabago, ni-revise ko lang ng konti at dinagdagan ng twist ang kwento. Sinigurado ko ring walang typographical at grammatical errors.

"I have read this story on book apps and websites, but I just have a question, Ms. Flammia," Maximus looks so curious.

"Sure, what is it?" I smiled at him but deep inside, I'm so nervous.

"Are you a psychiatrist... or psychologist?" My smile slowly faded, and when he saw how my smile vanished, he started to have a worried face.

But I smiled and sighed. "My story is about maladaptive daydreaming, so I assume you are curious if I consulted a psychiatrist or an advisers for this story, but no, I didn't. I used to take a medical course to become a psychiatrist," I'm surprised I didn't stutter!

He smiled at me genuinely. "And it paid off very well," he sounds so proud of me, so I can't help but smile wider because my heart fluttered so much.

After that, the staff started filming us, and I'm glad I didn't feel anxious about it.

"Daydreaming is far from a maladaptive condition. Daydreaming is a normal part of our daily lives, daydreaming about the future and so on. On the other hand, maladaptive daydreaming is a psychiatric condition wherein it causes extreme or uncontrollably daydreaming to the point that the person is distracted from their real life." I explained, and all the people inside this room were all listening to me with a smile! And just for that, I felt so special because I was heard and understood for the first time.

"As for Maximus, you need to seem like a person who lacks emotion because your maladaptive condition was controlling you. You are preoccupied, inattentive, and distant at all times." He was smiling at me attentively, and I was too concentrated to feel self-conscious about it.

I continued explaining what I want to happen and what I hope will happen in this drama. Of course, I want this to be a success, and in that way, I can prove something to my mom. Hoping that she can validate me now, and I know that I was so stupid to aim for that. Stupid hope.

It was just a normal script reading but it was very fun and serene. Alas tres na siguro nang matapos kami dahil sobrang dami talaga naming ginawa. S'yempre ay nagpalitan sila ng linya, pag-e-explain ko sa mga gusto kong mangyari, nag-film pa sila ng mga mini interviews and ek ek churva kaya napagod talaga ako.

Nasa akin ang atensyon nilang lahat sa t'wing may sasabihin ako, nakakatuwa na naririnig at naiintindihan nila ako.

Nagkwentuhan ng slight. Pagkatapos no'n ay nag-paalam na kami sa isa't isa. Hindi naman ako na-starstruck sa mga artistang naroon dahil hindi ko naman sila kilala. Kung si Vilma Santos at Nora Aunor siguro ang naroon ay nagpaka-fan girl pa ako nang walang-hiya.

Pagkatapos noon ay nag-aya si Direk Pau na mag-dinner kami kasama ang co-director niya kaya naman gulat na gulat ako at sumang-ayon na lang. Hindi makakasama ang mga artista dahil s'yempre ay busy and booked person sila. First time after years and years na may makakasama ako sa pagkain.

For 23 years, mag-isa lang ako at damang-dama ko 'yon kaya nakakapanibagong may mga taong nag-aaya at lumalapit sa akin. Hindi ko nga maalala kung kailan ako nagsalita nang ganoon katagal kanina. Hindi ko rin maalala kung kailan ako huling may nakasama sa apat na sulok na silid dahil mag-isa lang talaga ako.

Alas kwatro pa lang naman kaya nag-ikot-ikot lang muna ako sa BGC dahil ayoko pang umuwi. Humanap ako ng pwesto kung saan may pinakamagandang view ng langit. Malapit na ang sunset at iyon ang pinakapaborito kong panoorin. Ang paglubog ng araw at pag-iiba ng kulay ng langit.

Nandoon lang ako hanggang sa mag-alas sais na. Umuwi lang ako sa bahay para magpalit. Tahimik akong nakapagbihis dahil wala pa sina mama at ang mga kapatid ko. I wore a black one strap body con dress and paired it with my black pumps and black nylon mini bag. I put my hair down and place my hair clamp in my bag, just in case.

Dumiretso na ako sa restaurant na sinabi ni Direk. Agad ko rin siyang nakita dahil kinawayan niya ako. "You look stunning, Alessia!" Direct Paul praised me.

"Thank you," I genuinely said and sat in front of him.

His co-director is not here yet.

"Twyla said she'll be late for a bit. She's sorry," he said after looking at his phone.

"No, it's okay for me."

Nagkwentuhan lang kami roon at hinintay ang co-director niya.

"What do you think about Maximus?" I was stunned by his question. "As Wren?" he added.

I don't know much about the actor so I wasn't sure what to answer. "He's fit for the character, of course. I suggested it after all. He's nice... and he looks genuine. Easy and fun to work with." I simply answered. That was an honest answer because I saw how determine Maximus was when he was reading his lines.

"How about Beatrice?" It's like he's interviewing me.

"She's so charming. I love her voice... especially when she was acting as Amoris. Her tone was suitable for the character." I waited for him to ask about Mia but Twyla suddenly walked in.

"Oh my God, I'm sorry, I'm late," Twyla said as soon as she sat down next to Director Paul.

His co-director, Twyla, is young. I think she's in the mid age of 22 to 25.

She looks alluring with her beige satin bodycon dress. "It's okay, Ms. Twyla." I smiled at her.

"Oh, please, don't call me Twyla. Call me Selene. Just Selene." She rolled her eyes to Direct Paul. "I bet you made her call me that."

"Don't blame me!" they look really close despite their age gap.

"You look astonishing, Selene." I praised her.

"Thank you. You too, I love your curves, Alessia." I was embarrassed, but I still smiled.

Ikinuwento pa ni Selene kung bakit siya na-late habang hinihintay namin ang order namin. May emergency daw sa hotel na tinutuluyan niya.

"I'm glad that you adore Maximus and Beatrice. Their chemistry was top-tier at Fondness, right?" I just nodded at Selene because for all I know, ano ba ang fondness?

"How about Mia? Do you like her? There are attitude problem issues about her but I can't deny the fact that she's fit for the role. She's a good and versatile actress." I can't relate with them but after knowing Direct Paul, I knew he has a good, sensible, and honest taste. He's fond of everyone. No wonder he's friends with everybody.

"Of course, I like her. She's lovely. I love her acting too," after a few minutes our dinner finally came.

We all wait until all are served at our table before beginning to eat.

"Thank you." I smiled at the waiter.

"Oh, Director Paul?" I faced my back to see who owns the familiar voice.

"Oh, Maximus!" Director Paul looks so surprised, and so do I.

I stood up to greet him.

"Hello, Ms. Flammia." He held my waist and gave me a peck on cheeks.

"Hi. Just call me Alessia," I said.

"You should just call me Maximus then." He whispered near my ears. After that, I just smile... awkwardly.

"What are you doing here? Do you have a formal meeting here?" Director Paul asked.

"Ah, yes. With an ad director," Maximus uttered. "It's a pity I can't join you," he's looking at me the entire time he came! And it's making me nervous. "Maybe next time."

"Don't mention it. You're probably busy, so it's okay. Maybe before the first taping, we could," Selene uttered. Director Paul and I just nodded.

"Of course. But for now, I should go," he respectfully said.

"It's a pleasure to meet you here, Maximus," Selene looks like she's close with Maximus.

 "Hmm, me too... It's nice meeting you here, Alessia." I blinked twice when he called me at my first name.

"I-It's nice meeting you here too... Maximus," I know that it wasn't professional to call each other on a first-name basis, but wouldn't it sound so awkward to call each other by our last name. Mr. Sephtis and Ms. Flammia? It sounds uncomfy to me.

Nang umalis si Maximus ay naupo na kaming tatlo. "Do you know Maximus personally?" Selene asked me.

"Ah, no. We just agreed to call each other on a first-name basis a while ago..." I said softly. "How about you?"

"Ah, yes. Common friends. We worked at Fondness. He's the main lead, and I was the co-director of that movie," she's staring nowhere as if she was reminiscing those days.

After our dinner, the waiter served us a bottle of red wine.

"I really love the aroma of this wine." Selene said, admiring the wine.

"Hmm, very floral," I commented.

After our dinner, I didn't get to see Maximus again. Maybe they are on the second floor.

"Selene will give you a ride, Alessia," Director Paul suggested. Selene agreed.

"No, it's okay. I'll hail a cab," nginiwian ko siya.

"It's already 10 PM. Will you be okay?"

Oo naman, alas dos nga ako kung umuwi sa bahay.

"Of course, marami pa namang taxi na dumadaan dito," mas lumaki pa ang pagkakangiwi ko. 

Nang may dumaang taxi ay ipinara at sumakay na ako roon.

"Tipsy Pig po," sabi ko sa nagmamaneho.

Nang makababa ay tumambay lang ako roon sa pinakasulok ng bar at ininom ang isang cocktail ng tatlong oras dahil sa malalim na pag-iisip. Iyong si Maximus ang pumupuno sa utak ko. Bakit gano'n na lang siya kung makatingin sa akin?

"Bakit kaya siya nakatingin sa'kin?" hindi pa ako nakontento sa pag-iisip at tinanong ko pa ang sarili. 

"Sino?" Napatalon ako sa kinauupuan ko nang may tumabi at nagtanong sa akin.

"M-Maximus..." Ang pagpintig ng puso ko ay... napakabilis.