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Chapter 40
Song For Chapter:
Shallow by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper
***
I wrapped the blanket tighter around my shoulders as I struggled to find sleep. I had been in bed for the past hour, yet rest would not relieve me.
Maybe it was the fact that my life had just been turned upside down or that Fabian had been gone for that entire hour, knowing how upset I was. I don't blame him, though. I was probably making him uncomfortable with my mood swings. One minute I was fine, then in a second, I was a bawling mess again.
It had only been two hours since I saw my mother cheating on my dad, yet it felt like it was two seconds ago. Then, to see him so nonchalant and unresponsive to it was my literal breaking point. I knew there was no way I could take it back, and maybe it was good that I actually saw it tonight. Perhaps it was for the best. We all knew that it was bound to happen eventually, after all. Now that her secret is out, they can go on with th
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Colton.My eyes darted between the two boys. They didn't appear as sudden best friends—far from it, actually. But they both looked at me with a similar light in their eyes. They cared for me, and I assumed that was the only reason they were in the same place again.My eyes lingered on Fabian for a while, silently asking him if he did this. As far as I knew, Colton didn't have this address. However, all he did was shoot me a wink before leaving the room.My gaze settled on Colton as he reluctantly crossed the room, and I straightened my back as I rested the remainder of food on the nightstand."H-hi," he said with a short wave. I cleared my throat as I returned the gesture."When you said you wanted to hang out today, this isn't what I thought you meant," I said, attempting to initiate conversation. The last time we spoke was in Guidance class, and it wasn't even a straightforward conversation.Why did Fabian bring him here? I wasn't up
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I stood outside my house in a nervous mess. I tried to move forward, but my feet wouldn’t go.It was almost one in the afternoon by the time Fabian dropped me off, and I looked back for the umpteenth time to ensure that he was still there. Just like every time I checked, he was sitting in the car under the neighbour’s tree, staring at me. “You can do this, Paris,” I mumbled, trying to give myself a push. Still, I felt stuck. With a deep breath, I grabbed my phone and dialled Cynthia’s number. She picked up on the third ring. “Paris? Where are you?” she asked, sounding distressed. I sighed. “I’m outside. Can you—um—can you meet me by the porch?” “Sure. I’m on my way.” On a typical day, she would’ve made fun of me for being a baby. But she, more than anyone, understood the intensity of the situation and our feelings. As she appeared in front of me, I felt my guilt resurface full folds. Her eyes were red and puffy, and the
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For a while, I was frozen in my spot. My dad was… hugging me? His shoulder shook once, and I slowly raised my arms to wrap around his back as sudden remorse swamped my nerves.This wasn’t only hard for Cynthia and me. It must’ve been hell for him too. To call a woman who was in love with another man your wife for two years, sharing a bed that had no comfort and still had to be strong for his kids, couldn’t have been easy.Of course, there were a zillion things they both could’ve done differently, but just like Fabian and that girl who died, some things just happen to slip away right before your eyes.We are mere humans, after all.“I’m so sorry, Paris,” he sobbed as he slid down to his knees before me, keeping his head buried in my stomach. My tears fell involuntarily as I watched the strongest man I know break in front of me. “I failed you. I failed my daughters.”Cynthia ran towards us
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Opening Song: Wonder by Shawn Mendes *** I stood on the Westminster Bridge with the will to jump. I was willing to end it all at that moment because I felt as if my social life was now over. Perhaps I was acting a whit dramatic, but the budding embarrassment from the replaying moment in my head made it quite challenging to think clearly. I couldn’t believe I had done something so impeccably stupid. I felt dumber than a box of rocks, but even they knew to stay quiet. So, I couldn’t even compare myself to lifeless objects. “Paris, get down from the bridge,” my friend, Shanae, instructed with boredom dripping from each syllable. She knew I was bluffing, but I couldn’t bring myself even to face her. “No, I’m going to jump. You can go; you don’t have to witness this,” I screamed dramatically for no apparent reason. I heard a light chuckle from her, but I made no move to turn around. “Get down, mate. You didn’t emb
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"I mean, I should've known better right?" I asked Shanae as we hopped from my car."Yea...definitely " She drawled uninterested with her eyes glued to her phone, causing me to roll mine.For the past ten minutes since I picked her up, I've been yapping away about the whole incident last night. I knew she was just answering me for the sake of answering, since everyone who knew me knew that I needed to talk a lot to let something go.I really felt stupid. Of course Colton only saw me as a friend. I was stupid to think otherwise.Well now I know where we stand and I won't make that mistake again. I knew it would be hard to let go of my feelings, but oddly I didn't want to. Stupid, stupid Paris.
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I waited in anticipation at the diner like Colton instructed me to. He was already ten minutes late, and the cold breeze was becoming too much for me. With a frown, I decided to wait inside for him, since punishing myself seemed irrelevant.I greeted Lukas, the owner, with a huge smile as I waltzed in. He had a big fatherly round belly in front of him that made him seem like a human pillow. He was always nice to me, and since he knew I volunteered at the senior citizen's home where his uncle was at, he would sometimes give me free brownies or muffins with whatever I ordered."Hello Lukas. How are you this evening?" I greeted once I was close enough."Oh I'm quite great, mate. About to close up in thirty minutes. Did you need anything?" I frowned slightly at
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