There was an acute pain in my heart like it was a tangible force. I felt my lips quibble with pain as I slowly crashed to the floor. It was in that moment that strong hands hoisted me towards him. I angled my face to the side as I stared right at Cancil. He had a small smile on his lips, which instantly put me at ease.
“Are you all right?” He asked softly.
I wanted to speak, but words could not easily be formed. Internally, I screamed for him to get me out of there. I felt like a puppet at an exhibition. It made me want to hide somewhere, and never come out again. These people were a part of my pack, yet they didn’t care about my feelings. It was not like it was a surprise, but still…
“Come,” Cancil said this time with all firmness.
He helped me to my feet, and lightly placed his arm around my waist. I leaned closer to him, and allowed him lead me out of the tense field. The rumours seemed to breakout at that exact moment, and I blocked my ears to the words they said.
As we walked through the forest, Cancil remained quiet, leaving me to my thoughts. But, honestly, I didn’t want to think. I just wanted to feel. The fact that my heart felt it had been split into two was alarming, but I welcomed the sting. If I didn’t feel pain, I would be worried.
The rejection scene kept playing in my head, even as we rounded a dicey corner. Eros was the meanest Alpha I had ever met in my whole life, and I wished with all I had that he hadn’t been my mate.
“Don’t be sad,” Cancil said suddenly.
I turned my gaze at him, and watched as his jaw ticked. He turned to me like he had felt my gaze on his, and I quickly averted my eyes as I watched a squirrel dart past us.
“I don’t want to talk about it right now,” I managed.
He hummed in understanding, and said nothing. I tried hard to blink back the tears that threatened to fall. This man who wasn’t even from our pack, was being so kind to me. It was such a weird moment, and I had no idea what to think about it.
“Let’s sit here, so we don’t stray too far from the pack,” he suggested.
I nodded, and noted that we were at a garden.I couldn’t even bring myself to note the beauty of the vegetation. My heater was heavy and I felt completely lost. Moving away from the whole festivity didn’t seem to help me.
“Here,” Cancil said softly as he gestured at the bench.
He released the hands on my waist at once, and I nodded my thanks, while sitting on the bench which faced a small stream at the far end. I twisted my hands around my middle trying to chase the cold, pain and fear away.
“Do you always stick your lip between your teeth like a child?” Cancil asked suddenly.
I blinked, as I looked up at him. “Excuse me? What?” I asked in confusion.
He smiled, causing his brows to twinkle. His fingers gestured to my lips. “You’ve been doing that for some time now, and I wondered if you weren’t feeling the least uncomfortable.”
I turned away from him, feeling my cheeks flame hot in embarrassment. At such a situation, he found it appropriate to tease me? Plus, I had no idea that I stuck my lips between my teeth. I shook my head at the whole thing.
“Please, Cancil, I’m not in the mood to exchange banter with you,” I mumbled as politely as I could.
He sobered at once, but didn’t leave. Instead his quiet presence could be felt at the thick of the night. We sat down like that for about 10 minutes, when I turned back to the area where we left. The wolves were still there, and they were spinning about in a circle as their laughters reached to the moon goddess. It felt as though they were mocking me.
“I could speak, if you don’t wish to say a word,” Cancil said suddenly.
I reluctantly pulled my gaze off the festivities and turned to Cancil. He wasn’t grinning, but it felt like he wished to do that. I sighed slightly, as I felt the calm strings of feelings in my heart for him. It was more subtle that Eros had being, but I shook it off as friendship.
“If you wish to, then you can go ahead,” I said calmly.
His lips finally broke out in a grin. “Of course, Sira. I’m going to tell you a story, and you will forget all about your pain in no time.”
I cocked my head to the side, in a bit to humour him. He took the bait like I knew he would, and launched into a story about two wolves. I was only half listening to it, but still the sound of Cancil’s voice slowly put me at ease.
I smiled when he did, and even tried to laugh, though it sounded weird even to my ears. I figured that if I actually laughed, I would simply burst into tears. So, I stuck the fake smiles and tried my best to look invested in what he was saying.
“Cancil, I have taken too much of your time. I have to get going,” I said abruptly, stopping him mid-sentence.
He nodded in understanding. “It was a pleasure being here with you, Sira. I know that it’s not my place to talk, but I have to say something,” he breathed out.
I sighed. “What is it?”
He placed a hand on my arm, as he looked at me intently. “None of what happened back there is your fault, so please don’t blame yourself,” he said softly.
I placed a hand on my lips to bring down the sob that bobbled to my throat, but some of it escaped, shaming me badly. I hated to be weak, but that exactly what I was. Maybe, that was why Eros wanted nothing to do with me.
I felt Cancil’s hand squeeze my hands tightly. Without thinking, I pulled into his arm, and sobbed hard on his chest. My head felt like it would explode.
“It will be all right. The only thing that is clear is that your Alpha must have been crazy to reject you. It’s his loss and not yours,” Cancil mumbled quietly.
I cried on him for another minute, and pulled back, staring into his face. His quiet strength slowly absorbed itself into me. I knew then that I had to be brave, though I had no idea how it would happen.t The whole pack were going to make fun of me more than ever because of the rejection. It was a weird thing since they hated me, and I was pretty sure they wouldn’t have wished that I become their Luna. Still, company liked misery. So, they wanted me to be miserable.
I closed my eyes slightly, and then, reopened them slowly. Cancil was still holding me, and looking at me with kindness. He was so different from Eros. I had not known him for long, but he had been there for me, picking me up, and dusting my clothes when no-one would come close to me, and for that, I was immensely grateful.
“Thank you, Cancil.” I withdrew myself from him, and got to my feet. “Maybe, we would meet again,” I said softly.
“Maybe,” he said softly, and trailed off, looking right at me.
I couldn’t bear it anymore as I turned my back, skittering into the forest. I shivered against the cold and harsh pain that I had been forced to bear. Everything felt like it would crash down on me soon, but I tried to be brave.
I looked at the distance, and I could see Eros moving away from the crowd. Then, suddenly he turned towards my direction, and I felt like he could see me standing against the harsh winds and the long trees. I stared at him, but couldn’t read him from where I was. With a grunt, he left the area he stood.
My eyes misted over. Did he see me? Werewolves had sharp eyes, and he was the Alpha, so maybe he did. I couldn’t be so sure. All I knew was that I never wanted to be in the same room with him. The humiliation I had gone through was just too much, and it scared me so much. If there was a way I would leave this damn pack, but I also couldn’t do that.
Either way, it was best to maintain my distance. He had broken my self-respect without thinking of the repercussions of his act, so I wouldn’t let me hurt me the more. He had proven he was not a good leader with that singular act of his.
With a deep sigh, I walked back to the pack, aiming directly to my family’s home.
My head hurt as a demon as I tried to stand on my two feet in the dining area. I was slightly weak and I didn’t want to go to school. The humiliation would be too much, but I had no idea how to tell my family this. They wouldn’t be able to understand anything, and it felt like a giant waste of time. Don’t get me wrong, they loved me to the moon and back, but there was the enviable feeling that I should suck things up and move forward.Now, mother beat the egg as she tried to make my breakfast. I watched the press without any feeling. I was not hungry, and I was down. “Sira, please go over to the dining and wait. I would be done soon,” she said softly.I looked at her. “I don’t want to eat,” I said quietly.She looked at me as she stirred the eggs, and I noticed that she had on a grimace. It was weird to see that on her face when she was always so supportive. I sighed as I turned towards the breakfast table, feeling my shoulder slump forward.“Is it because of him?” She asked calmly.
“Don’t be scared,” Cancil said beside me.I turned to him slowly. “I’m not scared, but I just want to go to class,” I said firmly.He nodded. I turned towards the place where I had seen Eros last. He had left there. He simply didn’t care about how they bullied me. I don’t know what I was expecting, but at least, he should have been kinder to me at least. It hurt me so much when he treated me this way.I felt a hand on my arm, and I noticed that Cancil had given me the signal to move ahead. I did as I was told, while pulling my bag closer to me. He walked in front of me, while the I followed closely behind him.“She needs a protector… such a slut,” someone rang out as I went closer to the gate.I blinked the pain of those words down, as I blinked in shock as I hit Cancil’s back. I had not realised that he had stopped moving, and turned towards the bullies. What was he doing? I didn’t want more trouble, and I wanted to get out of this type of situation. It would be for my own good, if t
I rushed after Cancil as other students snickered at us. I honestly didn’t care what they did because they had proven time and again that they were nothing but bullies, and nothing good could ever come out of them, so I have to be strong about the whole thing. It was the only way that things were going to work out for me. Cancil was moving so fast, and I quickly caught up with him, pulling him by the arm.He stared at me with sadness visible in his eyes. I had caused that?“Cancil, please talk to me,” I pleaded.He sighed. “Why?”I shook my head mentally. “What do you mean by why?” I asked back. Then, I realised what I was doing. This was no way to make a friend open up to you, and it brought the opposite results. “What I mean is, I have taken you as a friend, and friends always say whatever they feel to each other. I don’t think either of us would like it the other went home sad, or angry. Please, talk to me. I could make whatever he is right,” I pleaded.He sniffed and finally sigh
I was finally done with the chores, and I was so exhausted, emotionally, and physically. This was a pain that I never imagined that I would go through in my life. I knew I had to be strong, and I was actually good at it since Cansil came back, but seeing Eros had made me so weak. It was so painful to note that I would never be loved by him.The more I acted like I didn’t care, the more the hurt dived deeper into my chest. With a sigh, I placed the cleaning tools where in the storage room, and grabbed my box. I was so grateful to the moon goddess that Eros had not able to return. I didn’t want to see him at all to avoid being hurt anymore.The pack house was so quiet, as I made my way out closing the door behind me. It was getting late, so I decided to quicken my pace. The weather was a bit chill this period, and I tried hard not to break under the intensity of it.I sighed as I followed the clear path, and tried hard to think of positive thought, even though my brain was making it dif
Should I go in there?I was standing in front of the porch, staring at the dark wood that served as our door. I didn’t want to go in. Honestly, I didn’t wish for mom and dad to see how weak I was. I just wanted to curl up in some place that was far away from here. That wasn’t going to be possible though, I knew it. It was simply wishful thinking. With a sigh, I made my way to the door, and rapped on it twice. I tried my best to clean my tears as I looked down on the floor.The door opened, mom tried to look at me, but I averted my gaze from them. It was a childish thing to do, but I didn’t care. She finally moved back into the house, when she noticed that I wasn’t looking up. I sighed inwardly as I made my way in.“Sira,” mom called, as she closed the door behind me.I swallowed the pain that I felt. There was so much that bothered me right now, and I wished that I could be able to handle it somehow, but I wasn’t able to do so. Everything felt so clustered and I couldn’t even tell a
Cansil was standing out of my house in the flesh. Now, it was beginning to make sense why mom and dad was acting they were just seeing me for the first time. In the history of my time here, I had never had friends. Neera had been the only one who hung out with me when we were still kids. But, now, I wished I had never pulled her close to me. She had joined the rest in making a mockery of me, and it was not something that I could easily forgive.I shook the memory away, and focused on Cansil’s grinning face. “I don’t get it,” I said calmly. “How are you here?”He shrugged. “I ran in my wolf form, and shifted when I got to your place. Unfortunately, your dad caught me butt naked,” he said with an inconspicuous wink.I gasped in shock. I turned back to the house, and noted that my parents were still staring at me. Ok, that was getting weird. Closing the door firmly behind, I walked over to Cansil who had pushed himself off the tree, and walking to meet me halfway.“How could you do that?
SIRAMy head was spinning and I was trying hard to think positive thoughts. But, whenever I looked at anyone, I felt that they were talking about me. The lecture had been a nightmare, and it had taken all I had not to sink into the floor. Why couldn’t they treat me normally for once? No, that was never going to happen. I should have known that at this point.I grabbed my bag tightly as I made my way out of there. I was beyond sad at this point, but I was hoping for some sort of miracle. I swallowed hard as I moved. The talk of my video was almost everywhere. Hopefully, Cansil didn’t wait up for me, which meant he wouldn’t hear what they were talking about me. I could only hope at this point. “Sira!”I sighed. This is what I got for wishing that he had not being around. I reluctantly turned around and saw that Cansil was grinning at me as he waved at me. Maybe, I was worried for nothing. It didn’t seem like he knew about the video.“Hi,” I managed as I slowly walked over to him. The
SIRA“Let’s go to the eatery,” Cansil said beside me.I sighed lightly as I walked with Cansil on the pathway after grabbing my back. I knew Eros was still looking at me from the garden doorway, and that made me more nervous. I couldn’t even pretend that he was not there because his scent was all over the place.“I should leave,” I whispered.“No, you wouldn’t,” Cansil said firmly, and I couldn’t help but look up at him. “I know you want to eat because you haven’t had something edible, so let me take care of you instead, ok?”I nodded. He was being too nice, but I wished he wouldn’t say that out loud because I didn’t want Eros to have a different idea of our friendship. I had no idea why I cared if that were to happen, but I did. I actually felt guilty which was weird because Eros had rejected our bond. Was it normal to feel this type of way after such an incident?I had no-one to ask because it wasn’t everyday that people rejected their mates. I sighed in frustration at all the feel