Cousin Love

Beatrice

The suggestion of spending time with someone I trusted sounded like a balm, and I accepted my cousin's idea without hesitation. Two hours later, we were laughing and sharing funny stories about Sebastian's love misadventures. His presence helped temporarily push away the concerns and dilemmas that were consuming me as if I could be myself again.

Amidst the laughter, Sebastian mentioned the kiss he stole from me once, making me laugh again, albeit embarrassed. The episode came up in the conversation.

"It was terrible!" I admitted, remembering the kiss that happened and ended in an instant.

"Wow, you crushed my self-esteem, cousin," Sebastian joked, with a smile.

"You have to agree it was a terrible kiss, Seb."

"Absolutely," he agreed, laughing. "But you were sad because Edward didn't show up on your birthday, and I was just trying to cheer you up. After all, we had a good laugh about it."

Sebastian was referring to my eighteenth birthday party. At that time, I was convinced that Edward also had feelings for me, just as I did for him. I imagined that the age difference between us would no longer be an obstacle when I turned eighteen and that he would finally confess. He had called me that morning, promising to be there for the party. However, as the night progressed and Edward didn't show up, my joy turned into disappointment.

In the garden, alone and with tears in my eyes, Sebastian came to console me, trying to cheer me up in the best way he could. And, even though in an unusual way, he thought a kiss would be the solution. At that moment, we realized we were just friends, and we laughed at the situation. We were friends and nothing more. We concluded that day that there was no chance of anything more between us.

"The important thing is that I made you smile."

"Yes, you're right, Seb," I agreed.

It was a relief to have someone I could be myself with, without judgment.

After a few hours, we decided to leave. Sebastian offered to take me back home, and I gratefully accepted. However, as I got out of the car in front of the house, I encountered Edward, who was also arriving at that moment. A cutting chill seemed to fill the air. Edward watched us with an expression I couldn't decipher.

Sebastian and Edward greeted each other politely but coldly. When Sebastian said goodbye and left, I faced Edward, feeling the tension between us. We entered the hall together, but he said nothing about the night, only exchanged a formal greeting before retreating to another room in the house. That left me confused and worried. I questioned what he might have seen or thought when he saw us together.

I felt the need to talk to Edward, to understand his feelings and do something to salvage our relationship. I hurriedly descended the stairs. However, upon encountering Charles, I felt embarrassed about my haste.

To break the tension, I asked him about Edward, and he informed me that my husband was in the library, something I already suspected. I walked there, now with more composure.

The library door was slightly ajar, allowing me to see Edward's silhouette sitting at his desk, focused on some documents. I knocked gently, and he looked up, surprised.

"May I come in?" I asked, my voice sounding strange even to me.

He nodded, and I entered the spacious room. A brief moment of discomfort hung in the air, a silence loaded with tension. Finally, I gathered the courage and said:

"I met your cousin Evelyn today."

Edward seemed irritated.

"At the bar where you were with your cousin?"

"No. Abigail brought her to our house for tea."

Although my initial intention was to address the issue of the French model, upon seeing the displeasure on Edward's face, I hesitated. He didn't seem open to conversations that night. I took a deep breath, knowing that the conversation needed to happen, even if it was difficult.

“She mentioned the relationship you had with Louise Orleans in Paris.”

Edward closed his eyes for a moment, clearly disturbed by the direct approach to the subject.

“That was before we got married, Beatrice.”

Despite Edward's evident annoyance with the topic, I was determined to get clear answers.

“And what did Louise mean to you? Was it a serious relationship?”

Edward sighed, his expression now showing great annoyance.

“Beatrice, why are you bringing this up now? It doesn't matter to us.”

I decided to press on with the matter; I wanted to understand and needed it to move forward.

“I just want to know the truth, Edward. Was it a serious relationship? Do you still have feelings for her?”

Edward stood up abruptly, running his hand through his hair in a gesture of frustration.

“This is ridiculous, Beatrice. Louise is in the past. We are married now, and that should be all that matters.”

I approached him, my eyes reflecting all my determination.

“Edward, I need to understand this. Please.”

He looked at her, seeming resigned, and then finally relented.

“Fine, Beatrice. Louise and I had a relationship. It was serious at the time, but it ended even before I signed our marriage contract. There's nothing between us anymore, I assure you.”

“I understand. I couldn't find anything better to say.”

“Now I need to get back to work. In a few minutes, I have a very important video conference.”

In other words, he was asking me to leave him alone. I complied with his request and left the library with the same doubts as when I entered that place.

As I retired to bed, Edward's conspicuous absence from my side was undeniably apparent. A feeling of emptiness settled in, resembling a chasm that had formed between us, and I found myself devoid of any understanding of how I could fill it or whether it was even feasible. On that particular night, Edward chose not to share a bed with me, and from that day on, circumstances meant that we never shared the same room again.