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I'm one of those people who plans on what to dream at night.

It might sound weird but that's just how I operate; I find closure by controlling the outcomes of what has happened in my life instead of accepting it to be the way it actually had.

Last year after Luca and I went on separate ways, every single night, without fail, I would go to bed by fantasising a different ending, not the bitter one we had at the parking lot.

I knew Luca and I could never see each other again because for one, I have my own ego after being tossed like a piece of trash like that. And two, he's such a jerk that he wouldn't bat an eye about my struggle to move on because for him, I'm just a sugar baby, someone he'd bed for a few weeks before jumping to the next in line.

So the only way I could get my closure, the one I desperately needed to move on, was through my dreams.

Every night I would go to the dream land as early as nine, right after putting my kids to bed. On tiring days I would drift off in like