[Hyacinth] The second file, the one about my own medical care, was not nearly as exciting as my mother's. There was a picture of me at birth along with all of my mother's prenatal records duplicated from her file. I had been born healthy, with no complications. From there I see I had annual checkups, and received all of my vaccinations on schedule. Other than the fact that it is an exceptionally well-organized file, there is nothing out of the ordinary. Except for one thing. A small red dot in the notes section of my annual checkups for years 5 and 15, which I only noticed by chance because the file fell onto the ground, and I tried to put it back together in the beautiful order it had been left in by Dr. Stevens. It felt disrespectful to leave it in disarray. I checked the original box that these files had been removed from, but there was no file marked with a red dot or any kind of folder or envelope with my name on it. The significance of the dot is lost to time. There is also
[Hyacinth] Something tells me I’m going about all this the wrong way. Why am I making this so much harder than it needs to be? There is one person out there who probably has all the answers to everything I want to know, both about myself and my mother. The man who was there from the beginning. Dr. Stevens. “Lisa,” I approach her as I walk through the clinic the next morning, rested and refreshed after a long, quiet night at home. Drew never came back that night, and part of me hopes it is because he spent his night with Blake. Bringing my focus back to the task at hand I ask. “Do you know where I can find Dr. Stevens? Did he leave a phone number or any other way that I can contact him?” “Oh yes!,” She perks right up, happy to be of use. Jumping down from her chair opens up a file cabinet that creaks from disuse and rust. “Here it is.” She pulls out a card. On it is an address to a PO BOX in Davenport. No phone number. No physical address. “Is this it? No real address.” She nods.
[Hyacinth] There is nothing extraordinary about Gold River Elementary School. It looks exactly like any other elementary school you might find in any other part of the country, in any other pack. There is matching art on the walls and the hallways make a dull echoing sound as you walk down them, especially at the end of the day like right now. The school must have called Drew as well because he was waiting just outside the classroom door when I made my way down there. I’m not sure what to say to him. What do you say to the man who has been your companion for the last two years, and more recently your boyfriend, that you told to go pursue his mate? We had never done more than kiss, but in our way, our relationship was very deep. We were a family. He grabs my right hand with his left and gives it a little reassuring squeeze. "It’s going to be okay,” he tells me although I don’t quite hear it because I feel something cold against my palm and look down. I already know what I’m going t
[Hyacinth] My heart is happy seeing my friends together. I can tell they are nervous, standing side by side, bashfully looking at one another while also looking at me for approval. So I rush up to the two of them and give them a giant hug. "I am so happy for both of you!" Blake relaxes in my arms, releasing some tension that she has been carrying since I walked through the door. Sebastian comes along and hugs us as well and we feel like a happy, joyful family. And I guess in some ways that is exactly what we are. Our family has just expanded. There is more than enough love for all of us to share. I love Drew. I guess I always have. In some ways that made it so easy to fall into a relationship with him. He feels familiar, like a favorite sweater that makes you cozy and warm, but isn't always enough. He's a great companion to both me and Bash, and it is obvious that he loves us both very much, but I am not in love with him. I cannot think of him as a lover, which is why I think we
[Slate] “Ash, this can never happen again,” I get up from the bed feeling disgusted and disappointed with myself. “We need to stop meeting like this.” “I don’t see the problem,” she gets up to head toward the bathroom. “Is it because we’re here in the packhouse? Why don’t I move in with you?” She looks over her shoulder as she heads to the bathroom. “I’ve told you more than once that I don’t care if we are married or not. You have needs, I have needs. It’s silly to wait.” “But that first time was a mistake, Ash,” I shake my head. “This was a mistake.” She laughs as she starts the shower. “Your body doesn’t agree with you.” Placing my head in my hands the whole room seems to spin. Everything feels fuzzy around the edges. I’m still not sure what came over me. Sometimes when I’m with Ash I am repulsed, and other times I take one whiff of her and I cannot control my baser urges. Our joining is always rough, never soft or carrying, as if my body is trying to find release, and doesn
[Hyacinth] “Bash, sweetie, you must be kidding.” I laugh at what must have been a joke, although not a very funny one. I'm just glad that neither Drew nor Blake seemed to notice, since they were too busy looking at one another with sly little smiles as they clear the table and prepare for their evening together. “There is no way. Alpha Danvers is an honorable wolf.” “Yes,” Bash agrees. “My father is the very best wolf.” “I would know, Bash, if the alpha was your father,” I scoff. The Alpha is too unforgettable. I would have remembered him if I had met him before. The only smells I remember from that evening were the musky smells of blood and sex mixed with the cloying scent of pancakes from the hotel's breakfast, nothing like the amazing sea salt and pine scent I've come to associate with Slate. “Besides, your father was not a good man, not a good wolf. Alpha Danvers is a good wolf, he could not…” “I think,” Bash’s eyes have that faraway look that they sometimes do when he is
[Hyacinth]Why did I come here? I am such a fool. And I keep making the same stupid mistake.“Get the hell out of here, Cindy!” Ash snarls. She's right, I shouldn't be here. Hadn't I learned my lesson the last time I came by to see Slate? Hadn't Ash made it quite clear that I was unwelcome here?I stumble back from the door, my eyes unable to blink as I take in the scene before me--Ash is standing in the doorway wearing a rumpled suit, her hair wet from the shower while beyond the open bedroom door the sheets on the bed are rumpled and the pillows are scattered on the floor. If those clues weren’t enough to tell me what had happened, Slate standing in the bathroom doorway, wet and dripping, wearing nothing more than a towel and a shocked expression, made everything come into focus. Closing my eyes, wishing I could burn the image from my mind. Instead, as the tears run down my face, I fear it might be engraved on my heart forever. Turning, I run back the way I came. “Cindy, wait!”
[Hyacinth] I am going to die. This is my last thought as I hit the ground and raise my hands above my head in a weak attempt at a defensive move. I know that if this wolf wanted to tear me apart, my hands would do almost nothing to slow him. And yet, instinctually, my hands raised, ready to protect me. As my body reacts to the cold, shocking sensation of the water flowing around me, my mind is thrust into the last moment in my life when I feel so helpless and alone. I am in the bathroom of the truckstop, only this time I remember a bit more. As I was blinking in and out of consciousness, and they began hurting me and violating my body, something woke inside of me, something lethal. Reacting to the fear of this moment, my mind reaches deep to find that well of deep power, that lethal feeling. My hands burn with the need to touch the wolf, to make him suffer the way my own body did that terrible day as I felt them leave their marks on me. "Wait," the voice inside my head begs. "P