ZaneSaint: Talk to me.Saint: Fallon...Saint: I'm sorry.Saint: We need to talk.Saint: Look, ignore me all you want but I refuse to go away. I'm like a disease.I stared down at my phone. In all my desperation, I was pretty sure I just told the girl I care about that I was like a disease. And I wasn't even drunk. It was a completely sober text. Damn it.Saint: But a good disease.Shit. I just made it worse.Saint: The kind you want?Fallon: YOU ARE DRIVING ME INSANE! Name one disease that I would actually want, and I'll talk to you.I frowned down at my phone and quickly Googled diseases that were helpful to humans, naturally I got nothing, so I made one up.Saint: Zanism. Heard girls get all hot and bothered, some even faint. Ever heard of it?Fallon: Nope. Sorry.Groaning, I stared up at her house. It had been seven days of ignored texts and phone calls.Seven. Days.I didn't text the first night because I knew it was smart to let her cool off, but
FallonHe needed to stop kissing me. It wasn't fair. To either of us, but mainly in our current situation - it wasn't fair to me. To girls like me in general.His mouth hungrily nipped at mine, as his lips explored.I put a hand between us to create some space and took a step back, Zane's breathing was heavy, laborious, his eyes wild. "What's wrong?""You.""Me," he repeated dumbly, then took another threatening step toward me, this time tugging my body against his while he swallowed kiss after kiss until I lost count of how many times our lips brushed - or the number of moans he emitted out of me as he angled his head different ways, pressing his hands to my hips then running them up my body until I trembled.I felt thoroughly seduced.And taken advantage of."You're," I said between small, heated, wet kisses. "Paying." He was persistent, I'd give him that, but I couldn't let myself fall for it, fall for the guy who was ninety-nine percent wrong and maybe one percent right.
ZaneI slept like shit most of the night, tossing and turning as nightmares haunted me as if I was experiencing them all over again."Come on, Zane." She giggled. "What's the big deal? Touch me.""I'm busy." I yawned and snagged my AP Psych book in an attempt to put some distance between me and Cassie, just another girl in a blur of girls whose only goal in life was to get me to jump between her thighs.But I didn't have time for that life.I ran the entire way to the house I'd been living in for the past three months. Rejection heated my face as I ducked and tried to run up the stairs."Zane!" Mrs. Angel shouted my name with glee. "I've been waiting for you."Great.When wasn't she waiting for me?"Come have a snack!""I ate."Silence and then. "I provide a roof over your head, the least you can do is try my chocolate chip cookies. I made them just for you."Yeah, I bet she did.I avoided eye contact as I hurriedly jogged into the kitchen and tried to swipe a cookie o
Fallon"So, Canon Beach hmm?" Mom's eyes penetrated through to my guilty little soul. Because for the past few days, I'd convinced both parents that Zane's visits meant nothing.Right. Dinner with my parents five nights in a row.Nothing.Coffee with my mom because he just happened to be hanging out in the neighborhood and noticed she was out of creamer?Nothing.Nothing at all."Yup." I blew out an exasperated breath. She was still staring at me, her eyes boring into my body like she was trying to create little holes through my skin. Finally, I turned around. "Just say it.""What?" She couldn't lie to save her life."Whatever it is you have to say." I checked my phone. "He's picking me up in five minutes.""He's been over a lot." Her casual tone wasn't fooling me, not one bit. "Are you sure this is still a friendship?""Of course." I rolled my eyes. "Mom, he's a rockstar.""That rockstar offered to go hunting with your dad.""He was cornered!" I threw my hands into the
FallonWaves crashed into the rocky shore. Seagulls screeched in the distance.I stared."Are you going to pass out or something?" Zane whispered, "Because my other confession is I don't know CPR well enough to save you from the birds before they start feeding off your cute little body."I gasped and then stumbled backwards with a horrified expression. "I'm the most horrible person on this planet.""Fallon-""I am." Tears clogged in my throat. "I just assumed, like everyone else, and you let me, but I mean what were you supposed to do and-" My head pounded, and I struggled for breath. "I've been basically accusing you of being a complete slut to your face for the past three weeks."He winced. "Right, but in your defense, you didn't know.""No!" I stood and started pacing. "Don't take it easy on me. I've always taken pride in being one of those people, the kind that don't judge, that just accept people as they are, but I'm a complete hypocrite!""Stop pacing, the sand ants mi
ZaneI was kissing her again.It was becoming a thing, just like casual hand holding, or touching her, my lips had this insane mad desire to taste hers - and I watched myself, the self-control, the insecurity of people using me for their own selfish reasons, slowly slip away with each piece of myself I gave - each piece she took.Because that's what kissing was.Personal.Intimate.A very real way to share your feelings about someone without actually saying them - I was a wordsmith, it was my job to make people believe with my words that I was in love with them, that I was in love with love.But my lips?They had always been mine.My virginity, mine.They couldn't take it - because I refused to give it.Nobody should ever feel like they have to give pieces of themselves in order to gain love, security, acceptance, I knew that better than anyone did - because I'd had to grow up without all of the above.Until finally, I was given it right along with fame.But like so many
Fallon"Are you sick?" Mags leaned forward and pressed her palm to my forehead. "Hmm, you feel warm."I shoved her hand away. "You don't even know what you're doing."She held up her hands and then reached for her coffee, chewing on the lid like it was a straw. "You know, you've been on edge for the past week."One week.ONE full week of no Zane.No texts.Nothing.And in my gut, I knew it was partially my fault. I'd walked away, he'd shared a part of himself with me, a part that nobody knew, and I'd walked away. Because he scared me, his intensity scared me, he was a forever guy, now more than ever. I shuddered, rubbing my hands up and down my arms."You were happy," Mags pointed out. "Until your little excursion with our fun little popstar on the beach."I jerked my head up. "How did you even know about that?"She rolled her eyes. "You really need to subscribe to more gossip magazines or at least pay attention when you check out at the grocery store." She held up her fin
ZaneI took a break from her, not because I was still angry or even upset, but because suddenly the music wouldn't stop coming. I turned to music, as I always did, only this time, it wasn't my savior.It was my sanity.The more I sang, the more grounded I felt.The more grounded I felt, the more I thought about things from her perspective.And I felt like a dick.Because what did I expect? To sweep her off her feet and tell her that despite what millions of people around the world said about me - it wasn't true.I wanted her.Yet, look at any Google search of my name.And I was at the Grammys with supermodels.Supermodels who thought a full meal was an ounce of almonds and a bite of cheese.I was asking a lot for someone who was normal. And after Alec sat me down and basically told me I was inhuman after all the songs I managed to record, I realized, maybe, I wasn't as normal as I'd like to think I was.And then when Will said the last song I dropped today was the best tr