Chapter 01

"Why don't you want to leave that Vejar, Fayra? Are you really that numb and martyr?"

I snorted at Lyden's words. The annoyance in her tone was obvious.

This line of her is not new to me, ever since she found out that Mateo and I are still not good as a couple, she has always encouraged me in this situation. I can't blame her if she's annoyed with my husband. Of all the people in my life, Lyden is the one who notices Mateo's true treatment of me.

And that started at our wedding reception.

The day after I received my college diploma, my parents made the decision to arrange my marriage to one of Don Madeo Vejar's grandsons. And that is none other than Mateo Alarkin Vejar.

At the reception He didn't move closer to me, he didn't even support me since my gown was so long. When Mateo became heartless toward me, Lyden saw everything. She confronted him, and they both got into an argument. Fortunately, the guests were too busy talking to notice what they were discussing.

"You know. If you value your worth Fayra, you will have a great time. Why don't you just give up? After all, there are many reasons for you to do that. Like, now. Your husband's having an affair with his dream lover from his past."

I stopped there. I gasped and looked down. Lyden also knew about that issue, not because I said it but because she saw the two checking into the hotel recently. As for me, it was only our first day under the same roof that he made it clear that he and Rose were getting better. I can't do anything but accept that fact and keep quiet on the side and let them go.

"Speaking of affairs, I really hate that, Rose. We were friends even though we said it was just then and not until now. But why did she beat Mateo's illusion? Is she still a person?" Lyden shook her head like she'd been stressed out.

"I don't even know if there is something wrong with her. Is she out of her head or is she really just trying to get revenge on you? " She continued.

"Den, you knew I was the one to blame first." I stopped her.

Lyden glared at me and sipped his coffee. "Fayra, Mateo is your husband. And you reconciled with him. And one more thing. She has a husband-- Morgan, who is Mateo's brother. God, your situation is making me crazy!"

A simple smile appeared on my lips.

Mateo used to flirt with Rose. When Rose introduced him to me, I must admit that I immediately liked him, I had no intention of stealing Mateo, but our family decided that I did not oppose.

I lost myself while thinking about how my life would be with Mateo. I liked him so much that I forgot that I had a friend to bump into. But even if I give in, Mateo will not be the one to reconcile with her, because the Vejars have already planned everything.

Mateo was reconciled with a Fabian, and that was me.

While his brother, Morgan, was reconciled to a Monrid. And it should be followed because if not Don Madeo will reject them.

But it seems that the two have found a way to resume their interrupted story.

"I need to talk to Morgan, Lyden. If I have to let him know about the relationship the two are deepening I will... just to get Mateo back."

"The question is, can you dump your husband? As far as I know, you can't, Fayra."

I didn't move.

Lyden scratched his head. Maybe I'm making her head hurt. "Are you taking drugs, Fayra?"

My eyes widened at what came out of Lyden's mouth. I immediately turned around and lightly hit his hand that was resting on the table.

"Lyden!" I slightly called her, and she raised an eyebrow at me.

"Seriously, you're so naive." She moved slightly in my seat and gestured with her hand. "He's hurting you emotionally, Fayra. But hell on earth, it's like you don't care about it. What the hell is wrong with you?"

I snorted. "What's wrong with me? Honestly, I'm hurting, Lyden. It hurts here, "I pointed at my chest.

Even if I explain how painful my condition is now, all the words in the world will not be enough to use to describe the swack pain I have. The pain I feel now is like there is no explanation from any angle.

"Then It's not obvious." Her brows raised. "You don't seem to be hurt, you just seem to enjoy it." She grimaced.

"Lyden," I called her softly.

She sighed and shook her head. "Then why don't you want to let go? How long do you intend to fight? Go ahead, tell me. How long, Fayra?"

I was stunned for a moment. Why are these questions always like this? Can I answer it now? What if I answer it? Will it be like this until tomorrow? Does my will be followed?

I shook my head. With Lyden's behavior, I had to answer her. Because if not, this woman would not stop bugging me.

"As long as I still love him. As long as my patience is not broken and I'm not tired yet." I answered directly.

I smiled later. That's what I want to answer, because I know as long as I still have love for him, I'm still willing to be with him and stay, even if Mateo doesn't want to. My heart is still beating. It is still screaming his name, and that pain, I can bear it.

When I looked at Lyden, she shook his head one after another in disbelief.

"I don't know what I should say anymore for you to lighten up, Fayra. But I can only say one thing to you now," she paused suddenly and looked at me, with a pitiful one.

"Once you got tired, please, stop." I stiffened in my seat as I looked at Lyden, when she said that, her tears started to flow at the same time.

"Don't try to fight anymore, stay for yourself, Fayra, because from what I see of you now, you're pathetic." She continued.

When will I get tired? It's only been five months, not even a year. Is this pitiful? Is it a pity to fight for the person you love? Isn't that better? I wasn't doing anything yet; I just stayed by Mateo's side. I was just starting to win him back from Rose.

It's better if I fight for it, because if the time comes when I'm fed up, I have a memory that I had someone I didn't give up on until I could. At least I won't regret it in the end.

"Where the hell did you go?"

I didn't immediately answer when Mateo's angry face appeared to me as soon as I entered the house.

He walked closer to me, and I just backed away because of the nervousness he was giving me.

"M-Mateo," I said, but he pulled my arm tightly. My tears quickly fell to the side because of the tightness of his arms around me.

"Where did you go, huh? Are you with someone and that's why you didn't say a word to me before leaving this damn house? " He asked with glazed eyes.

I winced with the pain and what he was accusing me of. "I'm with Lyden, Mateo. L-Leave me alone." I said, trying to break free from his grip, but he only tightened his grip on me. I'm already hurting.

"Call Lyden then, and prove that she has been with you all day." He ordered as he let go of my arm.

"Why would I, Mateo? Who else would I spend the whole day with? Rose? " I asked sarcastically as I wiped the tears from the corners of my eyes.

Mateo's jaw clenched from what he had heard. "Are you kidding me, Fayra?"

I swallowed. "I'm tired. I don't want to argue with you. Lecture me tomorrow." I refused to plead and passed him.

What is his problem? It is just right now that I didn't go home early, unlike him. If he goes home here, a week or two days must pass first. I didn't complain; he didn't hear anything from me.

I stopped walking up the stairs when I saw the suitcases outside Mateo's room. Where the heck was he planning to go during these hours? I heard a chuckle and looked in his direction. He was looking directly at me while walking up the stairs.

"Pack your things, we are going somewhere." He snapped, and I frowned.

"Why now? It's evening. "

"Just pack your things, Fayra. Don't question me, go. " He pushed me away and entered his room.

I was left stunned. Where are we going at this time? It's ten o'clock in the evening. What's this person's trip?

I just sighed and lazily entered my room. I want to rest, but I can't do anything other than the next one, because if not, we will start fighting again.

I do not know where we are going. I don't even know what clothes I need to bring, or even how many pieces, because my good husband didn't say anything. I put only casual attire in my suitcase. It doesn't matter if it's not swag where we're going, I have money. Maybe I can buy it there.

"Mateo, my gear is ready." I knocked on his room and soon he came out.

We went down quietly. Mateo brought my stuff. When we got off, Celly greeted us. Mateo goes straight out, while I stop for a while to say goodbye.

"Celly, you guys will take care of the house. I'll just bring a souvenir when we get back for you and Mira." I said, smiling.

I looked around the living room. Mira was already here, but I couldn't see her shadow. Maybe she's already in her room. I can't even say goodbye properly.

As long as you promise me that you'll be fine where you and your husband are going, I'm OK with it."

I nodded. "We're leaving, Celly. Bye. "

After I said goodbye to Celly, I immediately got into Mateo's car. He talked to Celly for a while, and soon we were on our way.

The silence between the two of us is still the same. I didn't even try to ask because I would know our destination later. I don't want to talk to him either.

I was not surprised to see that we were at the airport, and I heard Mateo preparing his plane for Palawan. With the suitcase we were carrying, we could go anywhere. This also happened in the five months we were together. Just like the first time, we were carrying two suitcases, and he immediately invited us to go to France. It turned out that the reason we were there was because Rose was on vacation without her husband, Morgan. I even became a prop for both of them.

"Here," Mateo said, reaching for the menu. "Order whatever you want."

I looked at the whole thing and at least one thing on the list seemed to be bothering my stomach. I returned the menu to him.

I don't want to eat. Just wake me up after the plane takes off to the place you want." I said as I adjusted where I was sitting to turn it into a bed.

I have not heard anything else from Mateo. I just let myself take a nap first and rest, because I have a bad feeling about the place we're going to go to today.

With Mateo's behavior, it is not impossible that there was a plan behind our sudden departure. And he will not leave me if I am of use to him.

I hate to admit it, but in times like this, I feel happy somehow, but the pain is still normal, especially if what he intended can make me feel that there is also a limit to the pity I feel for a little while .

"Oh, Mateo, I thought you couldn't come?" Morgan met us.

I was slightly stunned but quickly recovered.

It took us a few hours to get to this place. And I didn't think Morgan would meet us. I immediately bowed. If Morgan was here, even Rose would definitely be here.

I clenched my hand.

"Tch, why wouldn't we, Morgan? You and Rose invited me and Fayra. Who are we to refuse you?"

When I heard that, I clenched my fist even more. Even if Morgan doesn't invite him, he's still going. Who is he fooling here---oh it's Morgan. By the way, he's fooling his poor brother.

They fooled me face to-face while Morgan was behind his back.

Morgan's ear-to-ear smile broke out because of Mateo's words. He put his arm around him. "I know, Mateo. I know. By the way, Rose wants to explore this resort; I can't go with her---"

"Let me." Mateo interrupted quickly.

Morgan and I looked at each other.

"I want to rest. Where's my room?" I immediately got up and started to walk. My hot tears flowed down both my cheeks with my re-mixed feelings.

I knew it. I hope I don't come back anymore. When did I agree to go along with it like he said? He didn't even ask me or even tell me where we were going. He is the one who decides voluntarily because his pleasure depends on it.

I don't know where my feet will take me. I just stopped on my way. The view from here is of the wave that wants to break free from the ocean. It was already dark, but the lights on each side of the tree illuminated the night, shrouded in deep darkness.

Unconsciously I sat on the sand, while I left my suitcase next to me.

He most likely dropped his project once more for this. Mateo had to abandon his major project yet again because of her. I've heard about it. It's something I've heard before I had gone to see Lyden earlier.

"I don't know why you are crying, but seriously, you're distracting the peaceful scenery tonight."

I frowned when I saw the walking bulk of the man in front of me. I didn't even feel his presence. It turned away from me and headed in the direction of the ocean. My two eyebrows met as I watched him stop.

I've seen a lot of women cry today, and I don't know what number you are in. I can't even count you on my fingers. "

"I'm not crying." I quickly said and wiped my face. I heard her laugh but still she didn't face me.

"Then what's on your cheek? Saliva from your eyes?"

I couldn't answer.

"I had a feeling it was all about love. Right?" He paused and nodded, as if my silence had foreshadowed his own question. "Don't cry for someone who isn't deserving of your tears, Ms. Just some wise words."

"I despise seeing women cry, particularly for the same reason. Men. Nothing will change if you cry your heart out right now. That person, who is the source of your tears, will never understand your pain unless they have experienced what you are experiencing right now."

I bit my lower lip and fiddled with my fingers as I digested this man's words to myself.

He's right.

Mateo will never understand how painful his actions were for me. He will never understand unless he replaces me in these shoes.