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“I don’t know. It’s sexy, I guess.” I hadn’t known how to articulate the appeal. My entire life, I’d felt powerless. With my mother and her drinking. With my body and its abundant curves. With the swim coach who considered me a team filler and never bothered to time any of my laps or check out my form. Power was an enigma to me. I was fascinated by it – by what it could do, by what it could inspire, by what it could create.“Personally, I like a guy with money,” Amber had said. “Which is a lot like power, but not really. I want the guy to have the money and me to have the power.”“Yes. That’s what I mean,” I’d said, wanting to be liked more than to be understood.But Amber had already understood me more than I’d realized. Propping herself up on her side, she’d said, incredulously, “You wouldn’t know what to do with power if you had it. You don’t know what to do with the power you do have.”“I don’t have any power.”“Those knockers!”I shook my head. “You’re funny.”“You’re naïve.”It
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Well, I had feelings I’d been holding on to for a while as well. “You’re the one who talked me into coming!”“You know why I did that,” she seethed, her eyes narrow. “And I shouldn’t have. I should have realized that nothing’s changed, that you’ll always come between me and whoever I love.”“Wait… what? When have I ever…?” The only other man who’d been an issue had been the one who’d raped me. “You said that you knew I didn’t go after Bridge.”She shook her head dramatically. “It doesn’t matter if you went after them or not,” she said, heading into my closet. “They always wanted you more. You were always the prize.”I followed after her. “What the hell are you talking about? That was you. Which one of any of the men that we’ve been with didn’t want you the more?”She spun toward me. “Oh, let’s see. Bridge, Rob, Liam, Bryan.” She ticked the names on her fingers as she named them. “Reeve.” She turned back to her task, jerking sundresses off hangers and piling them over her arm.I was fl
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“It was both,” she admitted. “You can’t tell me there aren’t things you’ve done for me that didn’t have a benefit for you as well.”Reeve. I’d gotten involved with him because of her, but also because of me. “No, I can’t.” It wasn’t enough of an apology. I just didn’t know what exactly to apologize for.I tried to imagine what it must have been like for her, to feel like I’d always been between her and the various men she loved. “You should have gotten rid of me earlier.”“Emily,” the word was thick. “I never wanted to get rid of you at all. You were my touchstone. I kept hoping that somehow, someday it would work out, and we’d both find whatever happy ending we were looking for. But then Bridge… not only was I not enough for him – not good enough for that fucking useless asshole – but he also ended up hurting my best friend. So bad.” Her voice cracked, and my gaze followed a tear dropping down her nose.“You pushing me away hurt almost just as bad.” My eyes were dry, but my chest ach
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We were quiet as I walked her down the hall, past the room that I now knew was Reeve’s, to the courtyard.“Good evening, ladies,” said Tabor, one of the security guards. “Headed to your room, Ms. Pries? I’ll escort you.”“I’ll watch you from here,” I said, even though it wasn’t necessary with Tabor there. “I’ll stay until your light goes on so I know you’re okay.”Amber turned to me, her expression soft and grateful. “Thank you, Em. For everything.” She leaned in and pressed her lips to my cheek.And I smiled tightly and tried not to compare it to the kiss Judas had given Jesus that night in the Garden of Gethsemane, a kiss of betrayal. Tried not to focus on the sacrifice that she had forced upon me. Tried to pretend that this last kiss of hers was not one that brought quite so much pain.Then she and Tabor were walking away, and her light went on, and the guard took his post in the courtyard, and I wondered if instead it were I who was Judas and she the betrayed. Because, as soon as
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I bent my legs, widening until I was completely displayed for him. My breathing grew heavier, and I curled my fingers into the sheets, anticipating his next move. He’d strip. He’d brace himself over me. He’d jut into me and I’d be destroyed.But the devil teased me. He taunted. Leaving his clothing on, he bent over me and flicked his tongue across one nipple. Then, he moved to the other, closing his teeth around the sensitive area and jerking his mouth up until I yelped in ecstasy.“Where should I touch you next?” He bit down over the curve of my breast down my belly, hard enough to leave a trail of teeth marks as he lowered himself down my body. “Here?” He thrust his tongue into my navel, and I writhed as intense shock waves rolled through me.He slid to kneel on the floor, wrapped his hands around my calves, and pulled me to the edge of the bed. “Or how about I touch you here?” He brushed across my clit with the tip of his nose, and my thighs clenched.“Don’t worry, Blue Eyes. I’ll
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“I love you,” he whispered harshly at my ear, and my breath caught. He’d said it in so many ways, but never directly. Never so forcefully. Never in such a way that I had to take it as a gift rather than a fact, where I had to accept it and languish in it. Every thrust of his cock painted the words inside me. Every rock of his pelvis against mine.“I love you,” he said again, like a creed. “I love you so thoroughly it feels like you’re in my DNA. Like you must be part of my genetic code because there’s no part of me that isn’t linked to you. My love for you is so consuming on the inside that there’s barely room.”He moved a hand to my throat and pressed it against my windpipe ever so slightly, slowing the oxygen just enough to make me heady and weak.Or maybe that was from the sweetness of his talk.“My love for you is so ferocious, so dominating that I’m possessed by it. It changes who I am. It makes me someone different and yet I’m more who I’ve always believed I am than I ever have
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CHAPTER 24I slipped out of Reeve’s room early the next morning, without a message, without good-bye. He’d assume I didn’t want Amber to see me in his room, which was true. It didn’t need to be discussed. More importantly, I’d already said good-bye to him in the way I’d wanted to say good-bye.The sun was still low on the horizon when I’d finished packing my bags. I didn’t want to see her, but Amber hadn’t given me any details about my flight. Waking her early would at least feel satisfying.But when I got to her room, it was empty.What’s more, her bed, though rumpled, didn’t look really slept in. Like, maybe she’d gotten in, but hadn’t stayed there. And when I looked around the room more closely, I saw that the vanity was clear, and her makeup and toiletries were in disarray on the floor nearby.The hair on the back of my neck stood up. It was too soon to panic, but I had an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach.Then I remembered Tabor. He’d been on guard all night, and I hadn’t
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“It could have been her.” She’d been angry when she’d gone to find me. Neither Reeve nor I had any way of knowing if she’d been to her room after he’d left her at the pool. She could have gone in and made the mess herself.“It could have not been her, too,” he said, and my stomach knotted so tightly that it nearly caused me to double over. He eyed me sympathetically, like he wished he could hold me, and I wished he could hold me too. Wished that was all it would take to make this anxiety ease.But both of us knew that whatever would erase this dread, it wouldn’t be found in each other’s arms.Reeve rose from the floor. “Tabor,” he said, pointing at the guard cowering outside the door.The bodyguard once assigned to protect me, stepped into the room. He didn’t say anything, his expression conveying his distress and remorse.Reeve seemed apathetic to Tabor’s anguish. He strode up to the young man, murder in his eyes. “How long were you asleep? Tell the truth and the only thing you’ll lo
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