Chapter 9

Davina’s hand flew over her heart as she read the page in her journal that told of her love affair with T. J.  Oh, how she wished she’d retained the memories of such a touching moment as what she’d written.  Her words were descriptive enough, but they still didn’t bring the full impact of the love she shared with him to the surface for her heart to savor.

December 2

It’s been months since I met T.J.  (I told him I keep a journal and record him as T.J. because of my spawn sister and he thinks it’s cute. ‘smile’) and returned him to his camp in the woods.  Since then, we’ve met up in the city and done such fun things like go to the zoo, walk along the river while watching the sunset, wonderful candlelight dinners, a few movies. It’s been beyond fantastic.  I haven’t invited him home for obvious reasons, so we’ve had to steal our kisses wherever and whenever opportunity struck.

Last night he invited me back to his place.   He’s been staying in a hotel because he’s not from here.  I found it funny that in all the time we’ve spent together, I’ve never asked him where he is from. In fact, I only know what he offers, and that isn’t much. We mainly either talk about me or world events.  Is that strange?  I couldn’t say, since I’ve never dated a handsome man who was also worldly to such an extent.

His hotel is impressive.  It would have been garish of me to mention it, but

he must have money to be able to live for so long in a hotel of such stature.  Maybe that’s why he doesn’t seem impressed or intimidated by my inheritance?  That makes him even more appealing to me, if that was possible.

We had dinner in his room.  He ordered a beautiful, yet simple meal of steak, baked potato, and salad. I have to say that, even though he lives in a pretentious hotel, there is nothing pretentious about this beautiful man.

The night with him was lovely and relaxed.  We played a game of scrabble while sprawled across his bed. I admit that I had a difficult time concentrating when I was lying so close to him on the bed that he slept in. It smelled like him.  My body was tied up in knots for want of touching him through most of the game.  Needless to say, he won.  He laughingly accused me of letting him win.  How could I admit that I’d done so poorly because I wanted to roll across that scrabble board and wrestle with his lean, sexy body instead of strategically placing blocks with letters to make up words?

He must have read my mind, because not long after the game ended, we were rolling around in each other’s arms while the scrabble board and its pieces flew every which way.   We laughed as we picked a few letter pieces that had embedded into our flesh from each other’s body. Funny, I wouldn’t have noticed if he hadn’t said something.

We made love for the first time.  It was both scary and beautiful.  He knew I was a virgin and asked me so many times if I was sure it was what I wanted to do that I was tempted to strangle him!  When he finally stopped worrying and started kissing me, I swear that I visited heaven.

I was a bit nervous about baring my body to him, but he was so sweet and gentle about disrobing me in between kisses that I quickly got comfortable.  As things progressed,

my body relaxed, and I just let things happen.

T.J.  was so sweet.  I hadn’t a clue what

to do for him, but he didn’t care.  He just kissed

me and caressed me in all the right places without asking a thing of me in return except that I relax and enjoy. And, boy did I!

He touched me in places that I never thought to touch. And, not just with his hands. Oh my. The things he did with his mouth had to be criminal.  I could have laid there all night and just savored the titling sensations that he was arousing in me. I felt the effects of his mouth consuming my nipples all the way down to my toes. I wanted him to never stop.

I’d heard girls conversing about oral sex and had watched a few porno movies in my time, but nothing prepared me for what happened when his tongue slid between my thighs with what I’m sure was an expertise that couldn’t be matched.  For a moment, I was consumed with jealousy over the fact that he’d learned and perfected this special art of bringing me to unbelievable heights with another woman… or women.  Then, as my body became enveloped in this hot flame of desire, I forgot all about the fact that I wasn’t his first and let myself soar to places beyond earthly reason. 

I was so lost in my pleasure that I

barely noticed he’d entered me.  It wasn’t until I felt a sharp pain when he thrust hard that the reality of what we were doing struck home.  I was having sex! He stopped for a brief moment when I gasped from the pain, but then he slowly moved again.  It was uncomfortable at

first, but before long, it felt just as good as everything else he did for me.  I didn’t think anything could top the beauty of the moment until, while lying next to me after we’d finished, he kissed me behind the ear and whispered, “I love you.”  It was the first he’d said it.  Such a special moment!

We made love a few more times before we drifted off to sleep in each other’s arms.  He was gone when I woke up, but he’d left me a note of apology. I’m stapling it in between these pages as a keepsake. Call me silly, but I don’t care.  He’s my first love.  The man I saved my virginity for.  I want to save everything of him, even his notes.

She carefully unfolded the note that was stapled to the page and read it.

My love,

 I have had an unexpected summons from my employer.  I had to leave early and didn’t want to wake you.  I’ll be back as soon as I can.  Order breakfast and take your time getting up. 

Remember I love you, T.J.

She pursed her lips together as she leafed through the final pages of the journal. There were a few more entries about T. J., but they were to express her misery and angst over the fact that, not only hadn’t he returned, but he hadn’t called either.  What made it worse was that she had no idea how to reach him. She suffered depression from his rejection right up until the end of the journal.

She contemplated the idea that perhaps her memory loss was a defense mechanism.  Maybe she found his abandonment so intensely painful that this was the only way she could cope with the loss of him. One thing was for certain.  She hadn’t killed him like Louella claimed and she had his hand-written note to prove it.

She needed to contact the lawyer Edward suggested right away and show him the journal.  Her heart skipped a beat at the thought of finally being free from that place.  She hugged the journal to her chest and slid into bed.  Sleep came quickly, along with dreams of freedom… and T. J.