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I still love you

But no, I can't continue, I have to finally realize that Emmanuel is my life now. Shit, all of this is causing me to falter, to crumble, and not think things through.

"Come here," his voice is low, and his mysterious gaze drives me crazy. I don't waste any time and slowly approach him. "On your knees," I steady my breathing.

No, I have to stand firm, I can't fall because that would be a betrayal.

"No, this would be..."

"I would never treat you like a whore, and I don't even think that way."

I have to resist, but a part of me wants to comply. My other self would kneel before him, and run my hands down the front of his hips without breaking our gaze. Watching as this man masturbates in front of me. No...! I can't be thinking about it, I can't do it.

My other self betrays me, imagining what I could do if I fall before him. I see myself opening my mouth, and parting my lips, while at the same time bringing my hands to the back of his legs to grip his thighs. Ah, I melt at the
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