Words I Cannot Say

“That’s not…” I murmured to myself as an empty void seemed to have opened up in the middle of my chest.

It was when the door of the room closed behind him and I was left completely alone that I understood that those were not the words that I wanted to say to him. Everything that I said to him were probably all the wrong things. The look of slight disappointment that crossed his face whenever I apologized told me well enough that he didn’t like what he had heard from my lips. No matter how many times I apologized to him whether it was in pure sincerity or in pure anger, it would never be enough.

“Thank you…for saving me…” I whispered so softly that I could barely hear myself.

I had no idea why those simple words were so hard to say out loud to him. Of course, I knew that I had to apologize to him for going against our agreement and for using him; however, I should have known that I should have thanked him as well. It was so easy to apologize to get it over with and yet it was so har