Chapter 94

Nick

I had Lara handled for now last night. I needed to figure out how to handle everything else that has been going on. It was all too much, but I refused to admit that to my father. He would rub it in my face or worse, call me weak. 

Memories of my childhood flashed in my head. A constant reminder of everything I had to endure through with my father. The demeaning words and the insults. The clawed in my head trying to scratch through to break me, but I refused. Breaking down would mean going somewhere dark. I didn't want to go back there.

I squeezed the stress ball harder. The stupid the shrank in my hand. This was not even reaching the surface to being therapeutic for me. The only other thing would be to take the damn calming pills, but I didn't those. I don't want to be high and relaxed. I need to focus. Control and calm. I c