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That Tears Me Apart

I pour some more wine into the glass.

I sink back on the couch, trying to push away the thoughts.

The giggles of CJ's baby boy still echoing in my mind. I still haven't been able to get rid of the picture. How happy CJ looked as he played with the little boy. He didn't even notice as I sneaked out because he was too busy playing around with his kid.

That should have been our kid...

But I messed everything up.

I messed us up...

And I'll never have CJ in my life again...

He now belongs to someone else...

And that tears me apart.

And what tears me even more apart is just how sexy he looked. His shoulders broader. His hair longer. His eyes darker with that danger that drew me in.

And I'll never have that again...

A loud banging on the door pulls me from my myriad of thoughts back to the

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