63

Kade's pov

There are a few things racing through my mind right now and yet, not one eased me enough to keep my gaze connected with hers. They dropped to the counter.

There's a heaviness in my gut and a lump in my throat that I swallowed. But swallowing somehow made it hurt and I realized that I was on the verge of a panic attack.

I never had one, not since the morning after mom's death. That morning waking up to an empty house, with no gagging sounds or the stench of alcohol. That morning everything came slamming to me in full force.

I remember not being able to breathe, with thoughts of my life turning just like hers. I remember gasping for air, my vision turning blurry as I fall to the floor, my knees slamming hard on the carpeted concrete.

I remember gasping out for help, yet no one came. No one would. It was just me alone. Me without a mother or father. Me without anyone.

I remember air not reaching into my lungs fast enough and then everything had gone black. Until I woke up to t