018: Decision-Making

Lara

Ambrose comes into the room just as I'm putting my bra on. His eyes are wild and filled with concern. "What happened?"

I shrug and point at the money. "He put this here and left."

"Do you think he recognized you?"

"No, I don't think so. I don't know? I would've noticed it."

"Why would he leave so abruptly after waiting for so long?"

Ambrose is asking me all these questions but I don't have the answer for him. I don't know. I'm wondering the same thing and have no way of finding answers. I don't know if I'm in danger. I feel very strangely about all of this. He asked me my name, though. Was he expecting me to say Lara? Maybe I'm being an idiot for assuming that he didn't recognize me. 

Why wouldn't he?

"What do we do now?" I ask him after a while.

"I don't know, Lara," he states before looking at me. "I have no idea. The choice is entirely up to you. I'm going to let you decide. Whatever you decide will be good enough for me. I can't force you to face this situation. It's not fair or right."

I chew my bottom lip. Do I really want to leave now that I've finally faced my fears? I didn't think that I would be able to strip and dance in front of people but it seems I've managed. I'm perfectly capable. When the man who ruined my life sat right across from the stage, I felt this panic deep inside of me that almost made me drop everything and run away. It was such a strange feeling. Seeing him again was something I never thought would happen and there I was, stripping for him. 

But I did it, and I would've continued if he hadn't gotten up and left. 

Maybe he knows who I am at this point. Maybe my face hasn't changed as much as I thought it did. But I'll stay. I'll stay because being able to stay in the same room as him empowered me in a way. I faced that fear. I feel unstoppable. 

I'll take the risk. I'll stay.

Besides, Ambrose was right when he said it would be great to have the opportunity to ruin his life. If this works out, then I will make the most of the opportunity. If it doesn't, then I will leave. But until then, I don't see a reason why I should leave.

"I'll stay," I tell him. He seems surprised by my answer. I add, "I'll see how far we can take this."

Ambrose inclines his head. "We have a deal, then. I promise you I'll do my part."

"I'll be counting on it."

He tells me I can leave early and I don't dispute it. I make it to the apartment, fully dressed of course, and find Ander sleeping. I sit on the edge of his bed and stroke his hair. Thankfully, he stays asleep. Seeing that man today has changed me somehow. Made me stronger. It has also made me realize that I can't hide forever, no matter how hard try. At some point, the past catches up to people, and all they have to do is know how to face it. 

Ander looks a little like him. Before, his face was a glued to my mind but his features were also clouded somehow. Tonight, I've finally created a new image to replace the old one. Dexter Russell. That's the name of his father. And he'll never know. Why should he know? That man can't have anything to do with my son. I would never let him get close. Not a chance. 

Tears fill my eyes and blur my vision. I have to stand up and go to my room to sob. I lean against the door and let it all out. Never in a million years would I have thought that I would go through something like this. If the circumstances were different, as in, if I were stripping just for cash and he ended up being one of my clients, maybe I would've felt humiliation. He'd wanted to destroy me for being Victor Taylor's daughter and he would've actually succeeded. The daughter of one of the most famous Lycans in our territory stripping for common werewolves wasn't exactly a success story.

But no, this isn't the case. I'm in a position to help bring him down from the altar he has built for himself. I'm in a position to destroy him, plain and simple. And why should I miss out on such an opportunity? Out of fear?

No, not a chance.

I've gone through too much in my life to be afraid. Now is the time to take action, which is why I'm going to stay. 

Oh, I'll stay alright.

I shower afterward. I feel oddly dirty. As I squeeze shower gel onto my bath sponge, I come to a realization. There's something I didn't tell Ambrose, which would explain why I decided I was going to stay and why I think he didn't recognize me. I would've seen something like triumph in his eyes if he knew who I truly was. And if not triumph, then maybe something akin to shock? Either way, I would've seen something like that.

But I didn't.

Instead, I saw lust.

I know I'm not mistaken, especially thinking back to it now. My eyes were directly on him as I was afraid that he would pull a gun on me or something. I saw how his eyes roamed my body and how he crossed his legs afterward. And then, when he walked up to me, I saw that he was hard. There was a visible bulge in the front of his pants.

Would the sight of me have made him so excited if he knew who I was?

Yes, he left. I don't know why, but he did. I don't think it had anything to do with him knowing who I am, though. It was something else, something that maybe I'll find out with time if he comes back. Will he? I'm hoping that he will. 

The next time he comes around, I'll give him my best performance. I'll make him even more excited. And if things work out according to plan, just as Ambrose predicts, and he ends up getting close to me, I'll make him want me even more. I'll do everything in my power to ruin his life. 

I'd do it for free but thankfully, I'll get paid.

A smile pulls at the corner of my lips. So, this is how power feels like? It kind of helps me understands how he felt like when he fucked me in that rooftop and ruined me. The message he sent to my father must've made him tingle all over. No matter. I'll make him tingle. I'll do everything—and anything—to get close to him. I'll show him my naked body. I'll spread myself open just for him. Hell, I would even let him fuck me if it meant I'd be able to ruin him. 

But I will do it at the end of the day. I will make him pay. 

With this thought in mind, I get ready for bed. My head is spinning. I feel very hopeful and optimistic. I finally have a chance to do something worthwhile. This has to be the goddess' doing. The fact that Ambrose found me can't be a coincidence. It's fate. 

In the morning, I wake up a little late. It's past ten. Training only starts at around two in the afternoon, though, so I'm not too worried. I did want to spend some time with Ander, though. I find him in the living room, gong through a very old book that used to belong to my grandmother. He looks up when I approach him. "Are you okay?"

He nods. "Yeah."

"Wanna go out?"

His eyes light up. "And do what?"

"Ice cream?"

"Yeah!" he exclaims. "Alright!"

I take him out for a few hours. I use the money Dexter Russell tipped me to do this. It doesn't make me feel bad at all, actually. As I watch my son eat his ice cream, I run my fingers through his hair. He actually looks a lot like Dexter but I don't let it get to me. He's nothing to Ander. He doesn't matter at all.

"Do you like it?" I ask him absentmindedly. 

He nods. "Yeah. It's great."

"What do you want to have for lunch?"

"Pizza?" he asks hopefully. 

I smile warmly at him. "Okay."

I take him for pizza. Life feels somewhat complete, I can't even lie and say it doesn't. And now that I know I'll be able to push the man who put me and Ander through this, I feel a lot better. Lighter. It'll be like we didn't suffer in vain. All that's left for me to do is bide my time.

I'll make him suffer. Even if it's the last thing I ever do.