A young werewolf, maybe about sixteen, came by with a tray full of food. I ate very little, because these days I’m never hungry anymore. Edric tried to get me to eat more, but I managed maybe half a plate, if that.
Later, Doc came by, handing me two pills, which I took without even thinking about it. Usually, I’d question anything and everything werewolves did, but for some reason I trusted these wolves. Especially Edric, even though he has given me absolutely no reason to trust him…but then, he didn’t give me any reason to mistrust him.
I don’t really know what happened.
I fell asleep an hour later, and when I woke up, I wasn’t in human form anymore. My wolf took control while I slept. I didn’t even know she could do that. Shifting hurts – not as much as it did the first time, but I still feel it every time. You’d think I’d have woken up when I shifted, but I didn’t. I slept through the whole thing.
I look at Edric through my wolf’s eyes. He’s sitting in the chair next to the bed, long legs stretched out in front of him, resting his cheek on his fist, and thank God, he’s asleep, completely unaware that I have shifted. * Let go, * I order my wolf. * Let me shift back! *
She laughs. Laughs! at me. ~ No. You want to take us away from our mate. I won’t let you. ~
* I won’t leave. I swear. *
~ Liar. We share a mind. I know what you’re thinking. ~
Then why on earth do I never know what she’s thinking?
~ Because you won’t let me in, ~ she answers me.
Edric stirs, and panic stars to overwhelm me. If he wakes up and sees my wolf’s colour, our eyes, he’ll know. * Shift back! Now! *
~ No. ~
Edric’s head falls off his hand and he jerks awake. * Please! * I beg. * He can't know. I'll do anything, just shift back. *
My stubborn wolf doesn’t even answer me this time.
It takes him a while to register what he’s looking at. He’s not afraid, just appears confused, and a little amused. “Why did you shift?” he asks. “Do you plan on running again?”
How am I supposed to answer him? My wolf jumps off the bed and puts her head on Edric’s lap. Fucking traitor. He drops his hand and runs it over her neck. I can feel his touch, but he’s not touching me, he’s touching her. ~ Us, ~ my wolf offers unhelpfully. ~ He’s touching us. ~
Yeah, what the fuck ever. What am I gonna do now? He will hate me now, lock me away now that he knows what I really am. Something that shouldn’t exist.
“You are beautiful,” he says, awe in his voice.
Okay, I did not see that coming. I have to admit, his words do make my heart beat a little faster with joy. My wolf let out a soft whine, then sits back and looks up at Edric.
At some point while I slept he had put on a shirt, which he now takes off again. He’s fucking gorgeous, every cut of his muscles perfect, rippling as he pulls the shirt over his head and puts it next to me.
What is he doing? Is he gonna shift?
He goes on his knees in front of me, looking me straight in the eye. “Can you shift back so we can talk?”
How in the blue hell am I supposed to answer him? I can’t. * Shift, you fucking bitch! * I yell at my wolf.
She doesn’t answer me. Can she even hear me? My wolf lies down, putting her head on her front paws. Submitting to him. Submitting to a man. A wolf. How dare she?
“What’s going on, Maya?” he asks softly. “Did you lose control of your wolf?”
“Yes!” I yell, and it comes out of my wolf’s throat as a whine.
“Okay,” he nods, and sits back on his haunches, never taking his eyes off me. “We’ll just sit here until you’re ready to turn back.”
* Please, * I ask my wolf again, almost crying now. * I swear I won’t leave. * I think I mean it this time. Edric’s kind of perfect, and the thought of leaving him is strangely painful.
~ Do you promise? ~
* Yes, * I say, desperate.
I can feel her let go, and immediately I shift back before she changes her mind, biting down as the dull pain echoes through my body. Edric immediately turns his back on me. “Put on my shirt,” he says.
My own clothes lie in tatters on the hospital bed, and I don’t have any clean clothes in my backpack, which had appeared by the foot of the bed. I have little choice. I pull the long-sleeve over my head, and sigh softly as his scent folds around me like a warm hug. It’s the smell of the air just before it starts to rain, the woods on a sunny, summer’s day, with just a hint of sweet vanilla.
I glide my eyes over his smooth back, the broad shoulders, muscles flexing under the skin, the way his jeans smooths perfectly around his narrow waist. Damn it all to hell. Why did I have to run into his territory of all places?
“You done?” he asks, suddenly, and a shiver runs down my spine as his deep voice washes over me like warm honey.
“Yes.” The oversized shirt reaches down to the middle of my thighs, so at least all my niggly bits are somewhat covered.
But that’s not what bothers me. Nothing robs you of your dignity faster than living homeless and in the wind, so people seeing me naked stopped bugging me years ago. What bothers me is that my contacts popped out when I shifted, and there’s no way I’ll be able to find them again. Not that it matters all that much – he already saw my wolf’s eyes. But what about the others?
I stick my hand under my hair, feeling for the spot where Doc had put in the stitches, but I touch only smooth, healed skin. Well, at least one good thing came from my wolf shifting against my will.
Edric turns around, and crosses his legs under him, staring at me in wonder and bewilderment. “Do you wear contacts to hide the colour of your eyes?”
I nod. My eyes are distinctive, and it’s the first thing most wolves notice. Light silver-grey, but when I’m in wolf form they glow silver-blue, like the full moon.
“Why?” he asks like he doesn’t know the answer to that question.
“You know why. You summoned me here for a reason, didn’t you?” I take a chance. I know I’m wanted, I just don’t know why. Maybe he’ll tell me.
His eyebrows shoot up, but his voice is calm when he speaks. “Why did you shift?”
“I didn’t. My wolf took over.”
“Your wolf…you can’t control her?”
“Usually I can. It’s never happened before. Does it ever happen to you?”
He looks very worried when he answers me. “Once, when I was younger, before I learned how to control the shift…it happens to younger wolves, not adults. Didn’t your parents teach you how to control the shift while you sleep?”
“My parents are humans.”
Edric doesn’t believe me. I can see it on his face. “Bullshit,” he says bluntly.
“Believe me or not. I’m telling you, my parents aren’t werewolves. The day after I shifted the first time, they kicked me out.”
“Maya that cannot be--” his voice rises at least two octaves --“that’s not how it works. It’s genetic. Werewolf genes are passed on from parents to their pups.”
I shrug. “I don’t know what to tell you. They know about werewolves, if that makes you feel any better.”
He frowns, worriedly chewing into his bottom lip. “It really doesn’t. What about your grandparents? Are they wolves?”
“I never met them.”
“Jolie was right,” he says. “The Fates really are fucking twisted.”
“What are The Fates?”
“You don’t know…no, of course you don’t…they are the forces used by the Moon Goddess to shape events so we can fulfil our destinies, among other things.”
“Like the Greek myths?”
“Ours are real,” he says, staring at me with worry in his eyes, then just sighed. “Do you want to go upstairs and get cleaned up?”
I do. I haven’t had a decent shower in months, washing in freezing mountain streams or dingy public bathrooms. “What if someone sees me? My eyes?”
“Everyone’s probably asleep by now. As for your eyes…don’t hide who you are. Be proud. Hold your head high. You are my mate, Maya, I’ll never let anyone harm you. I’ll always protect you…or die trying.”
My heart lurches, expands until it feels like it can’t contain the unfamiliar emotions filling me up. “Why?”
“What do you mean why?”
“Why would you die for me?”
He stares at me again, his mouth open, not even trying to hide his confusion and amusement anymore. Laughing he stands up, and holds both his hands out to me. I don’t even think about it. Putting my hands in his feels like the most natural thing in the world. “You really don’t know a thing about our world, do you?”
I’m not completely clueless, I’ve picked up a thing or two over the years, but I don’t tell him, because he pulls me into his arms, and it’s all I can do not to climb him like a tree.
Edric's POV: I put clean clothes, a new toothbrush, and hairbrush in the bathroom, watching Maya’s silhouette play against the shower curtain, catching a faint whiff of her blood mixing with the water. It takes all my self-control to keep my wolf at bay – he wants to jump into the shower and take her, something I will never allow. ~ Mate, ~ he pants. * No, * I say sternly, and quietly slip from the bathroom. For a moment I consider going back down to the clinic to look for her contact lenses, but decide against it. As much as I want to hide her true identity from the rest of the pack I can’t do it. It would be unconscionable. They deserve to know what and who she is – it will affect them as much as it will affect me. For the first time in four decades, our pack may have to go to war. I didn’t exactly relish the idea, but such is the way with destinies – they’re never what we want them to be, are they? I stare off into the distance, re
I am sure Edric came back some time during the early morning hours, but he’s not here when I wake up. I can smell his scent lingering in the air, and I find clean clothes hanging in the bathroom. A dress. I pull a disgusted face at the outfit. I haven’t worn a dress since my sixteenth birthday party, almost five years ago if I have my dates right, and the thought of wearing the frilly, flowery monstrosity fill me with a strange kind of anxiety. I used to love getting dolled up in pretty dresses. My mother helping me to do my hair and make-up, always smiling proudly when we were done, telling me how beautiful I looked. My little sister sitting on the bed, watching me with big, awestruck eyes, saying, “One day, I want to be just like you, Maya.” Thinking about my mother makes me angry, and the memory of my sister fills me with sadness and longing. She’ll be about twelve now – I wonder if she still thinks about me. If she remembers me at all, and still wants to be like
Edric's POV: Our pack members start arriving one after the other, all of them in wolf form. Most live on the mountain property, and running is just easier than driving. Besides, no wolf I know will pass up the opportunity to shift and let their wolf run free. Well, except for the one by my side. The wolves that live in the town in the shadow of the mountain will be the last to arrive; they usually drive part of the way and shift when they’re away from human eyes. About ninety percent of the town’s population are werewolves and the humans are blissfully unaware of this fact. Maya’s nervous, her body coiled like a too tight spring, ready to let go and run off at any moment. As our pack members disappear into the woods to shift back to human form, she moves closer to me. Without even thinking about it, I put my arm around her, and to my surprise, she leans into me, resting her head against my shoulder. The feeling of bliss I experience w
Ignoring my broken toes, I hobble deeper into the woods with Edric by my side, my heart nearly banging out of my chest. Why did I agree to shift? Of course, my wolf is elated – I don’t blame her, she rarely gets a chance to be herself, but I’m already regretting my decision. Who knows what she’ll do when I’m forced to the background and she takes control? When we can’t hear the laughter and talking of the gathered pack anymore, Edric stops and turns to me. “What do you usually do when you shift? Do you take clothes with you, or go back to the place where you shifted before you turn back to human?” “Huh?” He chuckles softly. “Most of us will carry clothes with us – so we don’t walk around naked when we shift back to human form. We’ll shift back when we get to…where we’re going, so I think you should bring your clothes with.” “How?” I’m starting to realise that not only do I know nothing about being part of a pack or werewolf society, I also kno
Edric's POV: I smell the rogue minutes after turning my back on Maya. I don’t know how to communicate to her that the asshole is watching us. This is not a rogue looking for refuge, as so many of our other ex-rogues tended to do; this one is dangerous. He’s the very kind of wolf she keeps running into – one that’s more beast than man. Very casually, as if I don’t know he’s there, I pull my t-shirt over my head and start moving backwards to Maya. I don’t want to scare her, but we haven’t marked each other yet, so we don’t share a connection. I can’t mind-link her. The moment I let her know what’s going on, I shift and turn, relieved to see that she followed my advice. Her magnificent wolf shimmers in the sunlight, and this really sends the rogue over the edge of what little reason he has left. He comes crashing through the forest like a deranged animal, which I guess he kind of is, forgetting about me and going straight for Maya. He’ll
I can’t believe I did that. I can’t believe I attacked the rogue. But when he was on top of Edric, trying to get at his throat, I lost all control. For just a moment, my wolf took over and she didn’t think twice. I regained control just in time, just before she could rip into that poor man’s throat. ~ Poor man? ~ my wolf asks angrily. ~ He tried to kill our mate. Rape us. ~ * He can’t help it. He’s crazy…feral. * Then Edric tells me to leave, and she really doesn’t like that suggestion one bit. It takes all my willpower to drag her away. I don’t want to leave him either. He shouldn’t have to deal with the feral wolf – he came for me after all, so I should the one that takes care of him. I want to listen to my wolf, want to give in to her demands – but I can tell by the look on Edric’s face that he really needs me to go. There aren’t many options that I can see. They can’t let him go, and they can’t keep him here. All that’s left is killing him, and I know wha
Edric's POV: Despite feeling like absolute dog shit about killing the rogue, I can’t help but laugh with joy when Maya throws herself into my arms. I didn’t expect it, but it doesn’t matter – having her in my arms eases some of the pain I feel about what I had to do. I hug her closely, feeling her bony little body shift and flow under mine. I’m slightly concerned about how thin she is, but I’ll make sure she eats from now on, fatten her up a bit. She slips out of my arms, but doesn’t step away. She looks up at me, her eyes soft, sympathetic, and oh Goddess, filled with so much understanding – like she knows exactly how I feel. She cups my cheek, sending sparks of electricity through my body. Does that ever go away? I’ll have to ask Luca. “Thank you,” she says. “For what?” I ask, genuinely confused. “For putting yourself between me and that guy…you know what he would have done if you weren’t--” “I know,” I interrupt quickly. I
I sit at the table next to Jolie, who is giving off some serious I hate you vibes, watching as the male wolves build what promises to be a truly spectacular bonfire. All I want to do is go back inside, away from all these people. I just want to be alone. It’s a lot for me, the constant movement, the never-ending laughing and talking, and strangers coming up to me to congratulate me on finding my mate. They didn’t even know me twelve hours ago, why do they care? Edric disappeared as soon as we were back, and I think it’s because I hurt his feelings. I reacted on instinct when he rolled on top of me – I knew, my wolf knew, that he wasn’t going to do anything to me, but I acted before I could think. However, I don’t think that’s what bugs him the most. It was the fact that I wouldn’t let him near me when we ran back. He tried to keep pace with me, wanted to run side by side, but every time he slowed down so I could catch up, I’d stop and wait for him to take the lead ag