Chapter 85

Ezra helped me meld the scattered pieces of myself. He gave me some new ones from himself that he would never ask back, and I forged some from who we were together.

I had the hardest trouble sorting the pieces of what I used to be, what I was now, and what I could have been.

I spent so much time trying to mold a persona, so much time perfecting it; when it was gone, it was both freeing and terrifying.

Because I did not expect to have to learn who I was underneath it, the raw, confused, jumbled bits that were left of me.

And I could not mesh them together.

Was there a part of me that wanted to kill? It was an instinct now to start plotting the deaths of all the Alphas who said no to me during the challenge.

I couldn’t understand if that was an instinct part of me or something I learned, that I created, or maybe someone else created in me.

It was a jarring and difficult thing to try to piece yourself together from fragments, and I would only wish it on my enemies.

Because it left me h