Sean
“Sam?” I call out, closing the door behind me and scanning the quiet apartment. In the dark, I see my leather jacket shift as Sam stirs underneath it. Her eyes are closed and she’s breathing deep and even. Sighing, I squat down beside her and brush a loose strand of dark hair back from her face. I shouldn’t have yelled at her.Sam hums softly and snuggles in my jacket, wrapping her fingers in the buttery soft worn leather and gripping it tighter to her like a child clutching a teddy bear. The sight of her vulnerable like this again makes my chest ache.Bundling her up in the blanket that covers her legs, I lift her up into my arms, biting back a growl at how light she feels. Carrying her into her bedroom, my head spins with the potency of her scent. Once I get her tucked up in bed, I pull my jacket away and toss it over the back of a nearby chair. Pulling the door closed, I tiptoe out to the kitchen and set about cooking dinner for us both. As I’m chopping vegetables at the small kitchen island, my gaze catches on a framed picture of us. Sam is seated on one side of the bar, beaming, and looking happy and relaxed. I’m leaning over the bar from the far side to get into the shot. And I hate photos.This woman is killing me. Why do you ghost someone and then give their picture pride of place in your home? When she left, I assumed it was because she was feeling better and was ready to go back to reality. Maybe I was wrong because this doesn’t make any sense.An hour later, with dinner going cold, I’m contemplating whether I should wake her or just let her sleep when her distressed whimpers and cries pull me toward her room. When I look in, Sam’s tossing and turning, her beautiful features scrunched up in distress. Shit. When her hands reach out and claw desperately at the sheets, I know exactly which nightmare she’s having. My name tumbling from her lips like a plea is my complete undoing.I dash to her side and lie down, taking her hands in mine and letting her cling to me. Her heartbeat settles instantly as she grips my t-shirt and wraps a leg over mine. She clambers higher to rest her head on my shoulder and buries her face in my chest, signing in contentment as she inhales deeply against the material and whispers my name once more.Fuck. I’m done for. The feelings that I tried to push deep down come roaring back to the surface again, and I want to pull her to me and keep her there forever. I want to slay every demon that visits her dreams and protect her from the world. I stay there, texting John to make sure the bar is okay and letting him know where to find me if he needs me.Hours later, after watching her wake a few times but re-settle whenever she realised I was there, I finally drift off too. I know this is a bad idea, and maybe she won’t be happy to find me in her bed when she wakes up, but I can’t bear to leave her when she’s drawing comfort from me being close. Whatever it costs me, I’ll stay as long as she needs me.***The cool early morning light is already filtering through the curtains when Sam stirs and looks up at me, bleary-eyed. She smiles softly and stretches like a cat. I see the moment that she realises we’re not in Grey Ridge, cocooned in my little house. Her weight shifts off me as she goes to roll away, unwrapping her arm and leg from around my body.“Shh. Sam, it’s ok. You were having a nightmare. When I came in to check on you, I laid down for a minute beside you and I must have conked,” I lie and she lets me.“I’m sorry…” she starts, and I shake my head at her.“No Sam. You don’t need to be sorry. Not with me.” She looks up at me and my breath catches. I remember this soft, open version of Sam, and I miss it. Little miss spitfire's personality is no act, but there’s this other side of her that only her closest friends get to see.“I am sorry. For last night. For everything.”I knew this conversation had to happen, but every fiber of my being is screaming at me to get up and walk out the door. After baring my soul last night and blurting out what she must have guessed before, but I never said out loud, I don’t want to hear some half-hearted explanation of why she left me. But I’m going to. I screw my eyes shut and grit my teeth.“Look at me,” she begs, and I relent, meeting her gaze. “I don’t know why I did it.”Well, shit, I wasn’t expecting that. She shifts up the bed so we’re sitting side by side, backs pressed against the soft tufted headboard. I scoff because that’s rubbish. There has to have been a reason.“That night Sean, I can’t even explain it. It’s the happiest I’ve ever been.” She turns her head to look at me, but I can’t face her, picking a point on the far wall to concentrate on again. “When you got into the shower, I was about to get in with you.” She laughs and then stops abruptly, wringing her hands in her lap when I don’t react.“Then why didn’t you?” I ask, hating myself for wanting to know.“Because it was so perfect.”“That doesn’t make any sense,” I grumble. Sam is a straight shooter. If there was a problem, I would have expected her to just say it.“Sean, I’m a wreck. What was I going to do? Give up my job and move in with you? Take over your life and rely on you completely? Be glued to your side all the time, so I don’t freak out. So that I can just sleep? That’s not healthy. It was all one way. You had no choice. You just got stuck with me.”“Are you fucking kidding me?!” I explode, finally turning to face her properly. “No choice? I’m a big boy, Sam. Do you think if I didn’t want you there that I’d let you into my bed? That I’d have opened my home to you? That we’d have made love?”“But I’m a mess…” she moans, hands over her face. “And my job, I need to get back… I panicked! Once I got myself together, I was going to come back and beg you to forgive me, but as soon as we were apart, I just got worse and worse. Some catch I’d be. I would have been a burden you shouldn’t have to take on.”“You could have spoken to me and told me you wanted to go back, that you needed to go back. That would have been the decent thing to do.”She falls silent then, nodding, looking resigned and regretful.“I knew I was falling for you. I thought it would be easier to just go, like pulling off a band-aid, then wait for you to get sick of me hanging around like a lost puppy.”“You were my puppy. And if you think I’d have ever treated you like that, then you don’t know me at all.”Climbing out of the bed, I snag my jacket off the bag of the chair as I leave. I’ve been so angry for months, but a little seed of doubt has planted itself now in the back of my mind, niggling away. How could she know me? I never showed her all of me. Never explained why it would be so unfathomable for me to ever want her to leave.“Call in sick Sam. We’re going on a road trip.”SamPacking an overnight bag, I follow Sean down to his truck. He looks agitated as he speaks into the phone held tight to his ear. Leaning back against the hood, his long legs crossed at the ankles, he looks serious and sexy at the same time. When I step out the front door of my apartment building, he lifts his gaze to mine and falls silent, stroking his hand over his chin as he watches me approach. While he headed outside to calm down and get some fresh air, I took my time showering and getting ready. If I’m honest with myself, I wanted to remind him of the old me. The first version of me he met in the bar that night. I want to remind myself of the old me while I’m at it. This is the closest I’ve felt to it in a long time. That sleep has done wonders for me.The red nails and black skin-tight jeans are back. Black heeled boots and a figuring hugging white vest top complete the look, showing off my assets and giving me some wiggle in my step. I want him to look at
SeanCooper, Hayley’s mate, and the local Alpha, is propping up the bar with his brother Nathan when I walk in. Of course he is. By bringing Sam back here, I have piqued his interest. With a large pack of wolves to protect, it’s his job to know what’s going on around Grey Ridge, particularly where human and shifter relationships are involved.“Sean,” he tips his head in greeting as John places another round of beers in front of them. I nod and make my way over reluctantly. Normally, I love the social side of owning a bar, but not today, because I know he’s going to ask me what’s going on with me and Sam, but I have no idea myself.Resting back against the coolers, I gesture to the beers in front of them.“Bit early isn’t it, boys? Cooper, I haven’t seen you in here in months.”With a pregnant mate and multiple busy businesses, as well as some recent trouble with another pack, Cooper has been on lockdown. Nathan, on the hand, is a regular. A real lady's man, he’s normally in here every
SamWhen Sean’s deep voice reaches me where we sit in the lounge, butterflies erupt in my stomach. This man has such an effect on me. Now that Marie has planted the seed inside my brain, I can’t stop wondering if my recent low mood has had as much to do with guilt and sadness over leaving Sean as it does the fire. That I’m crumbling because I’m lovesick over a man doesn’t sit well with me, but this isn’t just any man. And I’m realising that more and more.The second he steps into the room, our eyes lock. He pauses in the doorway and stares. The intensity in his gaze takes my breath away. He doesn’t smile, doesn’t say a word, but I can feel that something has shifted, and suddenly I’m as nervous as I am giddy. Finally, he moves, coming over to join me, Hayley, and Nathan on the large, plush corner sofa.“Feeling better?” Nathan asks, a mischievous gleam in his eyes, and again, Sean doesn’t say a word, just fixes Nathan with a hard glare. Yikes. I don’t know what’s go
SamThere’s no room for argument. Going to stand again, Sean lets me up this time and falls into step beside me as I walk down the hall, needing to escape his scrutiny. The mouth-watering smells tell me exactly where the dining room is. Right before I reach the safety of being back with everyone else, Sean snags my elbow and turns me into him, pressing me back against the wall with his gigantic frame. My eyes drop to his bulging biceps, and I swallow, conscious of the damp spreading in my panties.“Fuck me, you’re killing me here,” Sean moans, thumping the wall beside my head with his forearm and clenched fist. There’s no anger. He looks pained and turned on. I know the feeling. “Tell me what you were thinking about.”I shake my head but swallow hard, squeezing my thighs together to get some pressure where I need it.“Sam,” he warns, easing closer and cupping the back of my neck with a hand again, his gaze fixed on the side of my throat.“That night. You fuc
SamWatching Sean drive carefully along the dark, winding roads that lead away from the lodge, I can’t help but admire him. Male ego would stop a lot of men from ever speaking to me again after what I did, let alone give me another chance. I’m going to make it up to him, and he’s going to know that I have no intention of leaving him again. As I ponder exactly how to convince a man that doesn’t seem to want anything except to keep me safe and happy, that I’m head over heels in love with him, we turn onto Grey Ridge Main Street. As we approach Sean’s bar, Taaffe’s, which sits at the end of the street, I spot a car outside that I recognize. Mainly because it sticks out like an obnoxious sore thumb in the car park full of beat-up old trucks and motorcycles.“Jeremy?” I roll down my window and shout at the man standing beside the black sports car, waving his phone in the air, dressed in preppy chinos and navy jumper combo that would confirm to any passer-by that this guy is
SeanThis is bad. Very bad. Like three schoolboys in trouble, we look at each other, trying to decide who should go first. I know it should be me, but I feel like Sam’s not going to listen to a word I say at this point.Marcus clears his throat and takes a step forward, palms outstretched in a gesture of peace.“How about we go out to the bar and sit down? You look pale Sam.”He’s right, she does. Despite the fire in her eyes, she’s still thin and only beginning to get over the exhaustion that’s plagued her for months. My fingers itch with the desire to go to her and hug her tight, but I can’t until I’m certain I won’t scare her.She reverses slowly out of the hallway, never turning her back on us. The bar is completely deserted. Any shifter who heard that ruckus, or saw Marcus heading in to sort it out, rightly bolted, taking any fragile humans with them. Sam perches herself on a stool and I exhale, relieved she won’t keel over from shock in front of me.
Sam Sean doesn’t speak for a second, just blinks at me, stunned. Like he doesn’t really believe it’s me. I should have called, but I thought a bold statement was the way to go. What if he turns me away? I’ve no job, no apartment, and nowhere else to go. If he turns me away, I’ll take Cooper up on the offer of his cabin until I can get myself somewhere of my own. “Okay. Never mind. I thought…” I trail off, realising how dumb that sounds. Twice I’ve walked out on this man, why would he ever let me back into his life? I’m reaching down for my bag when his deep voice stops me in my tracks. “Sam. If you so much as touch that bag, I’ll tie you to my bed so you can never leave me ever again.” He crossed the room in three long strides before he scoops me up and slams his mouth down on mine. “John. Bag. Office,” he barks as he walks us straight out of the bar and around the corner toward his small house, my legs still wrapped tightly around his waist.
SamThe flashing red and blue lights in the club are sending my brain haywire. My heart thumps hard against my ribs in tune with the heavy bass music as I press my body against the cold concrete wall. It feels nice against my clammy skin, even though it’s scratching the backs of my arms as I tremble.This was a terrible idea.If I can barely get through a night in my apartment without having a panic attack, why did I think a night out in a busy bar was going to be any better?Because I’m desperate, that’s why. I don’t sleep anymore, too afraid of the nightmares that will come. Going out partying seemed like a better alternative to another lonely night staring at the four walls of my tiny apartment. It’s not though. It’s way worse.Closing my eyes, I force myself to drag in a deep, shaky breath and hold it, counting to ten as I try to control my overwrought nervous system. Adrenaline is flooding my system, telling me I’m in danger again and that I need to run.I’m not in danger. I’m in