STARMy heart is beating so hard and fast I have to take deep breaths to calm myself. The car comes to a stop and I quickly open the door and rush towards the club. The bouncers lift the ropes to allow me in.“Where is Nikolai?” I ask one of the stunningly beautiful girls at the reception. “In his office. Let me call him for you.”“Please don’t call him. Just take me there.”She looks at me blankly. “I’m sorry, but I have to call him first.” “All right.”She calls him. “Er … Star is here to see you.” Her eyebrows rise. “Okay. I’ll tell her.” She looks at me, embarrassed. “He doesn’t want to see you. He says go home.”“Please, just take me to his office. He doesn’t mean it. We just had an argument. I want to sort it out. Please help me,” I cry. I know I sound like some obsessed stalker but I just can’t let go. I have to make it right. I was so stupid and blind.“I can’t do that. I’ll lose my job.”“Fine. Then let me just go into the club. I need to use the toilet. Did he say I couldn’t
Star“Can I return the dress to you now, Rosa?” I ask as soon as Rosa answers her phone.For a couple of seconds Rosa is too surprised to answer. “As in right now?” I sniff. “Yes.”Her response is immediate. “Of course. Fortunately for you I’m just vegetating in front of the TV with a tub of ice cream and a whole box of tissues.”“Thank you,” I say and hang up.When we get to Rosa’s apartment building I thank Andrei and tell him I won’t need him again. He is a true gentleman and waits until I enter the building before he gets back into the car.I get into the lift sniffing and blubbering. By the time the lift doors open I’m sobbing. Rosa opens her door and I walk into her arms. “I’ve been such a fool,” I repeat again and again.She helps me out of the dress and gives me a comfortable pair of sweats to get into. The whole time I am blubbering and sniffing and spluttering.We sit on the sofa. She pours me a humongous glass of wine. I take it and start gulping it down. “Whoa. Slow down.
I wake up in Rosa’s guest room with a massive hangover. The events of the night before come hurtling down on me. I tip-toe out of the room. Rosa’s bedroom door is open and she is still asleep in bed. I don’t know why but I go into her bedroom and stand over hersleeping form. In sleep she doesn’t look so tough. Even though my head is throbbing, a rush of pure love fills my heart for her. She has been a good and loyal friend.Without waking her up I go into the bathroom. My hair looks an absolute mess, my eyes are swollen and my face is puffy. I find headache pills in the cabinet and take them before I get into the shower. Feeling slightly better, I go to the kitchen. Closing the door, I make myself a cup of coffee and call my nan.I ask about my dad, and when she says he is fine, I tell her I have something to tell them all and I’ll be around later.“Is it more good news?” she asks.“Yeah, it’s more good news,” I reply. At least it will be for my dad. He’ll be so glad to hear that I’m
I try to keep myself busy for the next couple of days. I know I have to start a new life for myself. I ignore all Nigel’s calls and eventually I put a block on his number. Rosa tells me I can stay with her until I find my own place and I quickly accept her offer. When she is in it is not so bad. She is funny and warm and I can push Nikolai to the back of my mind, but when she goes to work and I am left alone at the apartment, I find myself bursting into tears for no reason. I’d be peeling a pear and suddenly I’d start sobbing my heart out.I try to write but I find that I can’t concentrate like I used to be able to. Suddenly I would be thrown out of my story and my head would be filled with Nikolai. I miss him so much. At night if I have not had at least two glasses of wine I can’t sleep. Sometimes I think of Miss One Penny and Ray and Celine. I went to the shop and bought a big box of chocolates for Sophia, but then I didn’t know where to sen
It’s cool in the car as Semyon drives us to Mayfair. I lean back against the leather and try to calm myself down. I have a plan. Well, it’s kind of a plan. Yana comes hurrying into the lofty entrance hallway as Semyon and I enter the house. “He’s in the study,” she says in a hushed voice.I thank her and walk to the study. I think I am even more nervous now than when I went to look for him in the club. Then I just assumed he would take me back. What I got was rejection and humiliation. I knock on the door and nearly die when I hear his voice say what I presume must be enter in Russian.I straighten my shoulders. I can do this. I push open the door. He is not at his desk. He is sitting on the sofa with his feet up on the low table. He turns his face towards me and freezes. The seconds tick away while we stare at each other.“What are you doing here?” His voice is strangely calm. There’s something different about him. He looks tired. Olde
Nikolai Two Months Later That morning we wake up early. Autumn is in the air and it is still dark outside. Star stretches luxuriously. I pull back the sheets to look at her naked body. I’d punished myself for years but fate sent me Star. Made her so irresistible that it pulled me out ofmy self-imposed hell.In the gloom her pale skin glows. I reach out a hand and caress her smooth hip. She looks precious. Beyond anything I own or could want. I need her to know it. If I die tomorrow, I will only be at peace if she knows it.“I want to show you something,” I say. “What?”“Get dressed in your riding clothes. I want to show you my brother’s grave.”Her face changes. Fear flickers in her eyes. I kept her in a state of insecurity. That flash of fear. That is what I need to destroy.“Are you sure?” she whispers. I smile gently. “Yes. It’s time.”We go downstairs in the silence of the house. A
Prologue Randolph Brodie wandered around the people gathered at his brother’s wedding reception. Dirk and Chelsea had said their vows at the small church in Frontier City. Their reception at the ranch was a large barbecue. Children ran around playing while their parents and other guests enjoyed visiting.Dr. Neels strolled over to him. “Let me introduce you to some of the townspeople. If you’re really serious about joining me, then they’ll want to have a look at you.” He grinned. “We’ll start with the most difficult, Mrs. Lacey. She’s a determined, nosy old lady, but you’ll come to love her as I do.”Rand followed Dr. Neels, and he introduced Mrs. Lacey. She was sharp tongued, gave him a once-over, and told Dr. Neels he could do worse.“At least he’s easy on the eyes,” she said. They were both chuckling when they moved on.After meeting too many people to ever remember all their names, Dr. Neels took mercy on him. “I see a pret
Four Months Later Marian Gaenor shut her office door. She was bone tired and wished she hadn’t promised Bob, the man she’d been dating casually these past three weeks, that she’d go out with him tonight. Maybe she’d call and cancel.She’d grab the subway home and curl up with a good book. But it was her thirty-first birthday. She should celebrate.All the way home she debated canceling or going. Her phone was ringing when she got to her door. Rushing inside, she picked up the receiver just in time.“Hi, girlfriend, have any pizza?”“Chelsea. It’s great to hear your voice. I have wine but no pizza. Wish you were here.”“I am. I’m at the airport. I’ll get the cabbie to stop for pizza and be there shortly. You don’t have other plans, do you? I should have checked, but I wanted to surprise you.”“No. Come on. I can’t wait to see you.” As soon as Marian hung up, she called and cancelled her date. Ah, that felt good