Life

J

onathon was a sensuous, attuned lover, mindful and meticulously attending to my needs. At times, I resisted his touch, climbing on top of him and taking him in my mouth. Giving pleasure to him satisfied a deep need to return his kindness. I submitted to the exquisite feeling of his weight on top of me and the pressure of his mouth against mine. He put my pleasure first. He quenched my thirst before mounting me. His driving thrusts both tender and cruel.

After our lovemaking, Richard didn’t sleep with me, or like me, he didn’t sleep, but in the morning, he quietly entered the bedroom. He padded across the floor to my bed and eased himself down as if trying not to disturb me.

While lying in bed, I looked long and hard at our relationship dynamics. Though we were bound previously by the elements of engagement—our legal contract—and now the dominant/submissive contract, Richard had kept me at a distance. The knowledge that we met a year ago—that he’d kept that history from me—built a w