Chapter 18

Brandon

"She might have been your mother, but you forget she was mine first. She was the woman I admired, the woman I fell in love with, the woman I brought flowers to, and, finally, the woman who stole my first kiss. Your mother is and was the love of my life, which is why I've decided to finally let her go. And that's MY decision to make."

I grit my teeth and glare at the TV. It's been a day since I spoke to my dad, but I still haven't processed the pain. My legs are bouncing up and down on the carpet — a nervous habit I can't get rid of — and I wish I had another bottle of scotch.

The pain in my heart is raw and painful. I'm drowning in it. Slowly suffocating without anywhere to go.

Does the grief ever go away?

Angry at my inability to just stop feeling, I walk into the kitchen to grab a bottle of anything to numb my pain. I'm a man. I shouldn't be crying. I shouldn't be breaking apart. Why am I so weak?

I just...I just wish my mom was here. She would know what to do and how